Y’all, is it just me, or is Love & Hip Hop Hollywood getting more and more comical? And scripted? Don’t get me wrong–it kind of makes me enjoy it more! Last night begins as Yung Berg is trying to seduce Teairra Mari with the new music, and he’s outfitted the studio with champagne and strawberries. While Teairra loves the song, she isn’t feeling his romantic intentions. She’s fine with a professional relationship, but she can do without his advances. Berg tells Teairra that Hazel is fighting mad that they are working together, and Teairra goes off on her former friend. Why does Hazel care if Berg produces a song for her? It’s not like they are getting it on behind the scenes. And just like that Berg is brought back to reality.
Of course, at the gym, Hazel is recapping her recent fight with Berg with Masika. In turn, Masika explains her friendship with Berg because she wants to keep things one hundred. Hazel is surprised to hear this…while she knew Masika and Berg were acquaintances, but now Masika is acting like they’re besties. Masika promises she cooled her friendship with Berg when she saw how he continued to treat Hazel, and she reminds Hazel that he’s always been a player and a flirt. Hazel disagrees. In her wacky world, he only had eyes for her!
On last night’s Love & Hip Hop Hollywood, we got to see more than our fair share of silly altercations. This show has just become a “lather, rinse, repeat” cycle…one that Mona knows best. However, I do like an episode that shows Soulja Boy’s boyish charm (did I really just type that and mean it?) and Omarion in any capacity!
When the episode starts, Apryl and Omarion are practicing birthing techniques with the help of a midwife, but Apryl is getting more and more freaked out by the idea of a home birth. Omarion want his son to be circumcised, but Apryl challenges him to strip off the turtleneck from his own manhood when their son goes under the knife. Omarion begrudgingly agrees–if his newborn son is man enough to undergo the procedure, he is too. He shares that he told his mom to apologize to Apryl for her behavior at the shower. Apryl agrees to listen to what Leslie has to say, but she’s not burying the hatchet yet.
Hey, anyone want to change Love & Hip Hop Hollywood to the Fizz and Omarion Hour? Who’s with me? Last night’s episode starts with Teairra Mari wanting to get back on stage. She’s planning a showcase with promoters Miss Diddy and Sincere. She gets a rude awakening from Sincere who informs her that she’s not famous enough to fill a big venue, and Sincere reminds her that she hasn’t had a hit in ages. He recommends a smaller, more private gathering. Sincere has a soft spot for Teairra’s boobs, but she can’t get over his massive ego. Despite all of their misgivings, Sincere agrees to help Teairra relaunch her career and she begrudgingly accepts because she needs it.
Yesi and Morgan are meeting for lunch to dish on Morgan’s recent conversation with Ray J regarding their working relationship. Yesi is still encouraging Morgan to branch out on her own, and she invites her friend to do red carpet interviews at an upcoming Powerhouse event. Morgan wants to run the idea past Ray as he’ll be working the event as well, but she’s quickly persuaded not to bother…and why should she? She’s convinced that Ray J will be happy for her new opportunity. Foreshadowing at its finest, Mona!
I will never understand the thought processes of the women on Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. What do they see in these men? Do they hear the words coming out of their mouths? Last night’s episode begins as Mally Mall is trying to make-up with Nikki with grand romantic gestures. Over a rose petal strewn lunch, he gifts her with an empty box. It’s a metaphor as to how he felt when the two were apart. Mall then gives Nikki keys to his house because he wants to move in together. Should I add that it’s the house that Masika picked out for him? Mally promises over and over that he never did anything with Masika, but this one time he did let her bleep his bleep. Oh, and he told her he loves her, but “only as a person.” I can’t believe Nikki is even entertaining this! She agrees to move in if she can watch Mall confront Masika and tell her she is delusional for ever thinking the two were an item. This should be good!
Going behind Hazel’s back, Teairra Mari plans to work on her music with Yung Berg. The two have a bit of a tainted past because Berg revealed to the world that Teairra and Ray-J were an item during a radio interview. He’s hoping the two can move past that situation and make some money together. When Berg asks about Teairra’s relationship with Hazel, Teairra admits that they are no longer friends, and business is business. Berg knows that Hazel will be furious, but she’s certainly not the boss of him. The two decide to make music–and money–by working together on some new songs.
I’m not going to lie, I’m really getting into Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. I am totally revisiting my younger self’s love of B2K. Plus, it’s kind of a nice switch to see a show where most (well, some) of the men are actually being good guys for a change. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s only the first season. That won’t last. Speaking of, my three favorites, Fizz, Omarion, and Soulja Boy (in that order) are catching up over a game of basketball. They talk about how their lives are changing due to families and relationships. It’s a far cry from the the threesome conversations that took place in strip clubs on the Atlanta franchise. Across town, Nikki is dishing with her mom about her current situation with Mally Mal after tricking her into thinking the pair is engaged. Nikki’s mother may need her own show based on her assessment of Ray-J’s junk. Whose mother talks like that? I love it! Not to mention, she’s not Mal’s biggest fan.
Hazel is enjoying her new place, complete with Berg who wants to crash but not cuddle. She is excited about date night, and Berg is just happy to booze and get his. However, the next morning, he reminds her that they are just two friends, hooking up and having a good time. This goes right over her head as she gives him the googly eyes and begs him to become a better man. He’s ready to become a better man–and friend–to her. I mean, Hazel doesn’t have to even read between the lines here. Berg is spelling it out for her and she still doesn’t get it. How is she confused? Hazel wants more. She wonders if he expects her to keep sleeping with him when he’s bedding other women. Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what he wants to happen. Hazel is in tears. She can’t keep being a jump-off. Okay, then DON’T. This girl needs to get a clue.
Is anyone else worried that someone is really going to get injured (injured bad!) on this season of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood? These broads love to fight! Wait, how am I just now noticing that this is the first L&HH franchise that has boys men featured in the credits? I must overuse the fast forward button! Anyhoo, the show resumes with Teairra Mari and Hazel fighting over stolen thunder and non-existent relationships, when Ray-J arrives to dump on the party. Literally. He tosses a box full of Teairra’s things on the floor of the tattoo salon, telling her that he hated her blatant disrespect at his launch party. Ray-J has returned her Monistat and various other lady parts over the counter medications. At this point, Teairra tries to charge him, and he promises producers that he won’t hit a woman. Even though Hazel is still upset with her friend, she goes to bat against Ray-J. Her sometimes/former/friend/roommate deserves better treatment from this “has been.” Her words, not mine.
Nia is still upset with Soulja Boy for lying to her about another woman. He is just ready to move past the silliness. She looks like a young twenty-something lying in bed with a very tatted twelve-year-old. It’s creepy how young he looks. But hey, when he’s forty, he’ll finally look of age! Soulja placates Nia by promising to step up to the plate and change his flirtatious ways. He’ll even change his number if she’ll just stop nagging him! Meanwhile, Apryl is concerned about Omarion’s upcoming tour. She certainly doesn’t want to be left alone with his hateful mother. Omarion hates being caught in the middle of the two ladies in his life.
Are y’all back for round two of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood? I have to thank the readers for reminding me where I’d seen Teairra before! Mona loves to recycle! Let’s get started with last night’s episode, shall we? Ray J’s party is a mess of crazy. Morgan tries to calm Teairra Mari, but she gets increasingly agitated as she keeps getting pushed and swatted. This is why Morgan has distanced herself from her former friend…she always gets physical. Ray J is yelling obscenities at his ex as she’s escorted out of the party. While Teairra is pissed at Morgan and Ray, her true hatred is directed at Ray’s new love Princess.
Moniece and Apryl are meeting at Hustler so that Moniece can do some research for her sex toy line. Apryl is getting turned on looking at the toys because she’s become increasingly horny in the later months of her pregnancy. That isn’t too much information at all. As the women chat, Moniece asks Apryl about Fizz’s new girlfriend Amanda because she’s heard that Apryl and Amanda are friends. Moniece has reached out to Amanda, and she’s got some harsh words the woman who is hanging out around her son. Apryl urges Moniece to take the high road and be nice to Amanda since getting along would be in little Cameron’s best interests. All Moniece can promise is that she won’t wipe the floor with Amanda’s face. So technically Amanda isn’t Fizz’s new girlfriend. He admits they have been together for two years. Fizz wants Amanda to spend more time with Cameron, but she is hesitant given the potential baby mama drama. Amanda reveals to Fizz that Moniece e-mailed her and wants to talk. Fizz warns Amanda that his ex is likely to pop off on her. It’s dangerous. Amanda believes that this is a sign that Moniece is maturing.
There will never be another Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. I wish Mona Scott Young would just figure this out and spare us all of these L&HH franchises, but I know that will never happen. So, let’s just dive into the premiere of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood.
We first meet Teairra Mari, a singer who signed with Def Jam when she was sixteen. No longer with the label, Teairra is determined to prove she’s still in it to win it when it comes to her music. Hazel-E is a former superstar publicist who left her high powered career to pursue her dream of being a rapper. She and Teairra are roommates, and they are catching up after some time apart. The love of Teairra’s life is Ray-J, and she reminds us that we may know him from a few songs and perhaps a tape or two. I love it. Teairra reveals that while the pair had an on-and-off relationship for nine years, she hasn’t seen or talked to Ray-J in eight months when she found out he was cheating. Hazel can’t believe they’ve been apart for so long, and I have to wonder what “roommates” go eight months without a gossip session or two. Sounds a bit staged to me. Ray-J has moved his new lady into his house without returning any of Teairra’s belongings, and she’s ready to rectify that situation.