Comscore

Love After Lockup Recap

Love After Lockup Recap: Your Card Has Been Declined

Again, we must congratulate the stalwart production team of Love After Lockup for going where no man has gone before – specifically, the inside of Clint’s head. Last night gave us more intimate/gaggy moments with ex-inmates, deranged explanations and excuses from two-timing players (looking at you, Michael!), troubling family reunions, and a three-way in the making. Hoorah! 

We have a rather large garbage barge of floating debris to wade through from the last Love After Lockup episode. So, let’s get to it, starting with Scott and Lizzie. On their first official “date,” Lizzie reveals her classy side by double fisting drinks and slurping oysters. She even reminded Scott that he ain’t never gonna get any because she’s a woman of God now.

Love After Lockup Recap: Secrets And Cellmates

Pro tip: There is no better way to feel absolutely proud of all of your life choices – even those four batches of holiday cookies you ate last week – than to watch this season of Love After Lockup. Seriously, there’s just something wholesome and satisfying about watching some sad sacks roll up in their fresh-outta-prison duds, ready to make all new terrible decisions with a life partner on the outside who is even more unhinged than them. Yes, I am going to hell. (Wanna share a handbasket?)

Speaking of sad sacks on Love After Lockup, let’s check in with Scott and Lizzie! They’re still at the Hampton 8 chilling in separate rooms, but Lizzie thinks it’s time for a makeover. Not for her – nope! She’s perfect in her own mind. Lizzie wants to pull a Queer Eye for the Toothless Guy on Scott. And she feels very qualified for the job since she was in cosmetology school in prison – even though she got kicked out for heroin. As one does.