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Malia White

Below Deck Mediterranean Recap - Bugsy Drake

We hear the term professionalism tossed around a lot on Below Deck Mediterranean, especially from the crew. But there’s a better word of the day for tonight’s episode: hypocrisy. I’m looking at you, Christine “Bugsy” Drake.

Let’s back up for a minute. It’s almost 2 AM aboard the Sirocco and Chief Steward Hannah Ferrier just got more than a tip of the primary charter guest, Jason. I don’t know exactly how it went down but they connected, they flirted, he dropped his iPhone in the hot tub, they smooched after hours in his room, you get the idea. He leaves the ship after getting her email and the world of reality TV yachting keeps on turning. Unless you have a Second Stew who wanted to be First Stew and has an axe to grind. Then it’s a never ending story of gossip and passive aggressiveness in the form of say, nonchalantly mentioning to Captain Sandy Yawn that Hannah came into the room so late, Bugsy thought it was morning and time to get up already. Nothing gets by Captain Sandy, who wants to know if Hannah was up partying with the guests. 

hannah

On an all new episode of Below Deck Mediterranean tonight, things get tense between Adam Glick and Malia White. While the two try to hash out their relationship status, production starts to wonder if they already knew each other BEFORE the show started filming.

In other scandalous drama, Bugsy discovers that Hannah Ferrier is texting with a former charter guest – a huge no-no. She of course shows Bobby, who salivates over it all. Will Captain Sandy forgive her lapse in judgement?

Below Deck Mediterranean Recap - Flirting With Danger

Another week, another hook up with the Below Deck Mediterranean crew and this time, the professional lines between crew and charter guests start to blur. But before we get to all that, we rejoin what I thought was an episode of The Bachelorette: Croatian Seas Edition, starring Malia White and her number one suitor, Adam Glick.

Adam sulkily leaves the crew’s night out because he is having a “bad day”, which included refusing to adhere to food preferences in the meals, telling Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier that she had a resting bitch face, lying to Captain Sandy Yawn, and what else? Oh yeah, just being an all-around douche. Sorry, no sympathy here for the guy who thinks a charter guest needs to be punished repeatedly for simply asking him to omit onions from his meals. But all of these bad boy chef antics are like an aphrodisiac to Malia, who chases after him so they can sit next to the hot tub and make out before Adam needs another diaper change or nap or something equally baby-ish. What does Malia still see in him? Is she just in it for the omelets he’s whipping up special for her each morning? All I can assume is that she’s young and stupid because at this point, you would have to be.

below-deck-med

Tonight on Below Deck Mediterranean the love triangle (square) between Malia White, Adam Glick and Wes Walton finally comes to a conclusion as Malia finally makes her choice..maybe?

Wes is clearly on the losing end of the contest for Malia’s heart after we see Malia and Adam enjoying some kisses and snuggling while watching fireworks together on the ship.

During a night out, Hannah Ferrier vents to Lauren Cohen about Bugsy’s failure to stick up for her when Adam was bashing her job performance.

Captain Sandy Yawn

I’m so here for this season of Below Deck Mediterranean. Sure, I always enjoy seeing the ridiculous requests from wealthy charter guests, but what I’m really living for is the love-triangle-turned-square with Malia White. I get why any guy would be into Malia. She’s adorable and has a great attitude, but damn: three different guys are into her this season.

The only man who’s not into Malia is  and thank god for that. He has a girlfriend back home and that would just make a messy situation even messier. Interestingly enough, my beloved Captain Sandy Yawn had no idea that this love square was happening until she watched the show herself.

Below Deck Mediterranean Recap - Chef Adam

There must be something in the water on Below Deck Mediterranean. If you thought the eye roll-worthy love triangle between Deckhand Malia White, Bosun Wesley Wiz Walton, and Chef Adam GropesALot Glick was over, you would be wrong. It’s just getting started and as a slimy bonus, let’s throw in Bobby Giancola for good measure. Feeling sea sick yet? Don’t worry, you will soon and it has nothing to do with the onion soup.

Speaking of, let’s check in on the Man Who Cannot Not Onion when it comes to chef-ing: Adam. He is busy throwing an onion sized hissy fit that Chief Steward Hannah Ferrier didn’t use her ESP to know that the guest ferry to the waterfalls were delayed and therefore, caused the picnic food Adam so angrily prepared to sit out and possibly spoil. You guys know what hate sex is right? I feel like Adam could make hate cooking a thing.

Below Deck Mediterranean recap

Last week on Below Deck Mediterranean, we were left with a real conundrum – the Med’s most wanted deckhand Malia White couldn’t decide who she wanted to kiss more – Wesley Wiz Walton or Chef Adam GropesALot Glick. So she did what any girl who can’t decide would do and kissed both of them. Apparently, this is a big no no in Lauren Cohen’s world but really, it’s hard to take dating guidelines from the girl who went out on a group date with our favorite goon, Bobby Giancola, and hooked up with him anyway.

I mean, what year are we in here? I know the Mediterranean is full of history but I didn’t realize we set sail back in time. Who cares if Malia kissed two people? But the most annoying person on the planet crew, Lauren, refuses to let it go. She’s so desperate for everyone to like her that she throws girl code out the window and wastes no time slut shaming Malia to anyone who will listen. And the worst part is that she does it by running to tell everyone after seeing Malia with her lipstick smeared on her face. Funny how Lauren has been so upset with everyone talking about her but it’s perfectly okay for her to do the same to someone else.

lauren-malia-below-deck

Drama on deck! Tonight’s episode of Below Deck Mediterranean looks like it won’t disappoint.

The Malia/Wes/Adam triangle rages on. Lauren Cohen gets an earful after Malia overhears her gossiping to Hannah about her kissing session with one of the guys. Lauren tries to explain that she was just happy to see someone on board getting some and attempts to make light of it, but Malia is not having it.