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LeeAnne Locken RHOD reunion

Last night was part two of the Real Housewives Of Dallas reunion which also marked the official end of season 3. I have to say of all the Real Housewives franchises, this one is still my favorite.

Sure, Real Housewives Of Dallas could use some tweaking – like please no more Brandi Redmond vs. LeeAnne Locken feuds dominating every season Whew! We have had enough! Having LeeAnne and Brandi become BFF would be totally insincere and producer-driven. I’d like to see them settle into an acquaintanceship where they can have fun together socially (or at least be civil) and leave it at that.

I’d also love to see D’Andra Simmons go back in time and recognize it’s a wig she’s wearing on her head, not a crown, so there is no need to start petty drama with LeeAnne! Those two are much better as friends. They balance each other and have a great dynamic. This season D’Andra got too big for her britches and LeeAnne’s britches already have L’infinity egos. 

RHOD-Reunion-Dandra-Simmons

Supposedly, D’Andra Simmons wants to be the queen of Real Housewives of Dallas. That status is up for debate (even though it should belong to an OG cast member). However, it does seem like Part 2 of the RHOD Season 3 reunion centers around D’Andra Simmons.

I mean, her mother even shows up to share her side of the story as if she’s one of the Housewives. Plus, LeeAnne Locken and Kameron Westcott are out to expose her (alleged) lies. If this is what’s like to be “queen” of Real Housewives of Dallas, does D’Andra still want that crown?

RHOD-Reunion-Dandra-Simmons-Real-Housewives-Of-Dallas

The ladies of Real Housewives Of Dallas entered the ring with their guns blazing, their stilettos sharpened like razors, and their eyes shooting daggers through the 64 layers of wet look eyeshadow. Their dresses are designed to blind, confuse, and kill as all the sequins reflect off everyone’s egos causing insanity.

I actually think Andy Cohen was on fire last night and was a great moderator; pushing back against the nastiness and crap.

This reunion is all about D’Andra Simmons, and her feuds with literally everyone. Which is apt because the very first thing that was discussed was Beaver Creek and the fight D’Andra had with LeeAnne Locken over who is the queen of Real Housewives Of Dallas.

Real Housewives Of Dallas finale

It’s Travis Hollman‘s frat party so everyone can fight and cry and scream if they want to on Real Housewives Of Dallas. LeeAnne Locken and Brandi Redmond certainly did.

I just don’t even know where to begin. Who provoked whom, who started what, who did such and such illegal thing… Brandi and LeeAnne are a two-headed snake biting its own tail after getting confused by all the excess weave hair in their faces. They should just go to couples therapy and be done with it. I can’t pick a winner or a loser here. Well, I can pick a winner, but it’s Stephanie Hollman. Stephanie ‘PH–king’ Hollman.

However, so many good things did happen for the ladies of Dallas last night! Stephanie bought a foam machine. LeeAnne picked a date and wedding location. D’Andra Simmons got a company. Woot! 

LeeAnne Locken

Happy Thanksgiving. I’m grateful I don’t have to interact with Real Housewives Of Dallas in the wild. LeeAnne Locken may cut my legs at the ankles to watch me crawl away and bleed to death. She’s just upset, you guys. If you upset her, it’s your fault. And then after all that you still might end up on ‘friendship probation’!

Over in Copenhagen, Brandi Redmond is a raging ball of fury. She learned that LeeAnne used her iPhone to nab naked footage of Brandi swimming in the Baltic Sea. Brandi is fine with the Bravo crew having that video. They will use it as contractually expected. But her arch nemesis? A different story! For some reason, they decide this is the perfect time to go to a fancy dinner! Within seconds Brandi, comes at LeeAnne with accusations. She’s untrustworthy, a liar, and no one at the table really wants to be her friend. Ouch. 

Real Housewives Of Dallas Recap: Naked And Afraid

Here we are in Copenhagen again on Real Housewives Of Dallas and everyone is still fighting. And they’re also naked and afraid of LeeAnne Locken blackmailing them with videos of their “sunny side up titties” surfacing in the Baltic Sea. Um, sounds … grocer than pickled herring if you ask me!

LeeAnne upset Brandi Redmond (again). Then there were two: Kameron Westcott and D’Andra Simmons. Just when I thought soon there would soon only be 1 remaining after someone went down at the hands of a switchblade stiletto, D’Andra apologizes! Say what?!

LeeAnne demands Rich set a date

The first two seasons of Real Housewives of Dallas centered around LeeAnne Locken’s beef with Brandi Redmond. In Season 3, LeeAnne’s ex-best friend D’Andra Simmons joined Brandi’s side and the two of them have argued with LeeAnne in almost every episode.

D’Andra questioned LeeAnne’s fiance’s fidelity. Brandi accused LeeAnne of being jealous of D’Andra. They both wondered if LeeAnne and Rich Emberlin were actually getting married, as if it was somehow offensive or remotely affected their lives. LeeAnne has called them both out for drinking and she even used the word “alcoholic” to describe Brandi. Needless to say, the reunion is bound to get messy. Then again, the past two seasons of this show have truly delivered so that’s not at all surprising.

Real Housewives Of Dallas Recap: No One Can Cope In Copenhagen

Whew! The ladies of Real Housewives Of Dallas know how to bring it home, do they not?! Also, I have to say I kinda like a screechy, raw, D’Andra Simmons. Classy she is not, but that bridge has already been burned and renamed in honor of Kameron Westcott.

Also, I don’t have a pantyliner on my underwear or a weave, but I’m beyond tired of The LeeAnne Locken And D’Andra Simmons Show.

Upon arriving D’Andra is cranky because she flew coach to try and prove that she’s a grownup. #FAIL On the shuttle to the hotel the champagne is already laid out and Brandi Redmond plans to spend this entire trip passive-aggressively acting like an alcoholic to teach LeeAnne a lesson. Good plan – I’m sure it won’t backfire at all! Brandi’s goal is to get so wasted at dinner she thinks LeeAnne will call her an alcoholic to her face so Brandi can confront her about the accusation, but D’Andra ruined everything! D’Andra always ruins everything according to Kameron, who actually always ruins everything.