If the Real Housewives of New Jersey haven’t been banned from the fly-over states, it’s a corn shucking miracle! Poor Oklahoma is still dealing with the weaves and wackiness from last week’s episode as the ladies head off to a tense dinner. Margaret Josephs is happy to hear that Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga seemed to have smoothed over their argument…although Tre is unaware of how riled up Joe Gorga is after hearing Melissa’s rehash of the nasty breakfast. At the restaurant, Jennifer Aydin is talking about her ginormous house. She has to have an extra “wife” to cook and clean her seven bedroom house. She even has cameras in every room and she does random bag checks before the nanny heads out for the evening. Jackie Goldschneider finds it frighteningly hilarious that Jennifer trusts the nanny with her children but not with her collection of Chanel.
To change the subject, Margaret enlists the ladies in a game of two truths and a lie. Her statements: she used to fool around with her high school gym teacher, she’s only done cocaine once, and her ex-husband used to lock her in a closet when she made him angry. The women are surprised to hear her lie was the gym teacher. They can’t imagine feisty Margaret putting up with that in her marriage. No one believes Dolores Catania when she states she had sex with her ex-husband/roommate Frank Catania last week. Jennifer goes for shock value with tales of playing the submissive to her bestie’s dominatrix, getting a butt lift, and pooping herself in traffic. She was lying about the butt lift. Jennifer was wild before she met her ultra-conservative husband.
Not surprisingly, Bravo's favorite potty-mouthed Polish beauty has her take on what happened, and she's never one to hold back. Joanna remains vehemently loyal to Lea and is quick to belittle her fiance's feelings in one breath and then praise him with the next. She's exhausting, no?
"I have reached out to Elsa many times with cards, calls, and flowers that can be verified by florists, and I sent an email to her daughter, who never replied back," Lea maintains.
"The amount of camouflaged and blatant hatred, venom, lies, bitterness, and phoniness that spews out at me each week says more about anyone than I could ever say," Lea adds. "It’s unfortunate you can't go to a party of 'friends' without being a target." Um… welcome to the Real Housewives franchise!
So, while I love reality television, I am so far behind on actual "respected" entertainment. Case in point? I am still trying to catch up on the movies that were up for Oscars in February. I highly recommend Lincoln and Silver Linings Playbook. I know, I know, you've probably already seen them!
That said, last night, I finally watched D'Jango Unchained. Amazing, but I can't stomach Tarantino's caricatures of violence. I also can't handle Jamie Foxx. He's brilliant. He's talented. He made me sob in the theater when I saw Ray. He isJuilliard trained. And then he became a rapper. In my head, he went backwards.
His spiral continues, apparently. Now, Jamie is allegedly dating Cristy Rice from season one of Real Housewives of Miami. The man won an Oscar for gosh's sake. He needs to call up Charlize Theron or Halle Berry (except they're taken…no biggie). Whatever. Nothing shocks me anymore. Maybe Cristy is nicer than she appeared on RHOM. Maybe?
Angelina Jolie had better watch her back! It seems that Brad Pitt may have eyes for another lady…of course, he'll have to fight Andy Cohen for her. For those of you who saw Brad's new World War Z this weekend, you may know who I'm talking about!
Andy Cohen makes my heart smile. He does. I think he's honest and funny, and he seems like one of those celebrities that if you approached him at McDonald's, he'd be totally friendly and let you take a picture with him. In my VERY limited experience, those celebrities are few and far between. Terry O' Quinn (John Locke from Lost) is on the nice list. A certain "Show me the money!" Oscar winner who filmed a straight to video flick in my college town after said Oscar win…not so much. Basically, I heart Andy and have aspirations of being the bartender in theWatch What Happens Liveclubhouse. Too much to ask?
The Kind of Bravo recently did a book signing at Georgia Tech in Atlanta for his memoir Most Talkative. While there, he answered questions about gay people on television and his love life. Andy also plays a fabulous round of Marry, Shag, Kill. He's awesome.
What's not to love about Andy Cohen? He's the King of Bravo, he hosts a phenomenally random and funny late night show in a tiny clubhouse, and he penned the hilarious memoir Most Talkative. Let's not forget the fact that he gave us the housewives franchise. What would we have to talk about if not for all of those ladies? Sure he's a horrible reunion host, but nobody's perfect, and he seems to be getting better in my opinion.
Not only is Andy all of these things and more, he's a huge advocate for the gay community. In fact, he was recently named 14th on Out's Power List, which showcases fifty gay men and women who influence the way Americans–and the world–perceive the gay community. RuPaul also made the list in the 50th spot.
RHOM fans know that despite some unfortunate plastic surgery, Mama Elsa tells it like it is. When she's not threatening drag queens, dancing in caftans, or having psychic visions, she's doling out some pretty down-to-earth advice. She's the Big Ang of Bravo.