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Manzo’d With Children Recap

Is Lauren Manzo ready for marriage?

Last night on Manzo’d With Children the Manzo spawn were in for a rude awakening – particularly LaurenCaroline Manzo is concerned about Lauren facing the realities of Vito’s income bracket instead of Al and Caroline’s. She wants to prepare Lauren for real married life… by letting Lauren and Vito live at home forever? And Albie took one small step in defying mommy by giving his sexy ex-girlfriend Britt another chance despite Caroline and Lauren’s disapproval. Time for Caroline to cut not only the apron strings, but the Chanel purse strings as well! 

It’s morning in Manzo-land which means Caroline comes downstairs to a trashed kitchen and three lethargic kids standing around demanding breakfast. Lauren has been using the island as a makeup studio and Al’s credit card for everything – she’s never paid for gas in her life (and doesn’t think she should have to). Caroline rampages about how the kids don’t clean up and act like immature brats expecting her to do everything for them. What does she expect after all her microMOMaging. Caroline is especially pissed because she’s supposed to be going on a tennis date with Al. 

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manzos-albie

Last night on Manzo’d With Children Mother’s Day was celebrated with a  throwback photoshoot, Albie and Chris still pretended they don’t have jobs, and Lauren decided to never leave home again. Actually they barely leave the kitchen… what is happening in the rest of that house!? 

Caroline Manzo is stressed. First Chrissofart left mommy and is now debauched in Hoboken. Now Lauren, about to be married to Vito the living incandescence of an Al-flavored mozzarella ball, wants to MOVE. OUT. Caroline cannot have this. 

Caroline tries to convince Lauren that she and Vito should just stay at home to save their money, because Caroline is not giving them a downpayment on a house – only utilities in her house! This is what passes for responsibility in Manzo-land? Shouldn’t Lauren already have savings given that she’s been living with her mother her entire life? Caroline would prefer they make the ‘smart choice’ to live with her until they can afford to buy a nice (re: luxury) instead of living someplace dumpy (see: Crissofart’s apartment).

But Vito doesn’t want to live with Ma and Pa Smothers, he wants the freedom to show his love to Lauren and admits to his fiancé that he wouldn’t feel comfortable “in the bedroom” living at her mother’s. Does Lauren care what Vito thinks or wants? #RhetoricalQuestion.

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Manzo'd With Children Premiere Recap The Manzo’s are back… and Caroline Manzo is no longer micromanaging her children’s evey move. Oh hahah! Just kidding. The more things change, the more they stay the same on Manzo’d With Children.  The kids are playing musical moving back in with mommy as Lauren plans her wedding, Albie abandons BLK for cannabis, and Chris tries to distance himself from the fambly only to face the wrath of mamma! 

Albie lives at home again and has now gotten involved in the cannabis business. Which basically means he’s the jerk you crushed on in high school who was popular and hot, but turned into a burnout loser. Vengeance for all of us. Caroline describes Albie as a Type-A perfectionist … so he’s perfecting the art of mooching? She’s delusional. 

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