A very huge thank you to The Marvelous Mrs. Mary for covering the Real Housewives of New Jersey recap last week when I was traveling for my day job. She always calls it like she sees it, and these women require a lot of attention. Finally, Teresa Giudice seems to be getting along with sister-in-law Melissa Gorga and Jackie Goldschneider, the newbie who broke Tre code early on in the season. Jennifer Aydin is still harping on Jackie’s stupid article in the wake of her trip to Turkey. Give it up, already! Does anyone even read this paper they keep mentioning? Sheesh. Even Margaret Josephs has sunk below the fray with her recent comments about Jennifer’s brother’s engagements. Can’t we all just get along? No. I know the answer will always be “no.”
That said, I’d give my eye teeth to watch a Dolores Catania/Danielle Staub smackdown to energize this RHONJ lull! If we can’t have that nugget, I guess I’ll settle for a Marty Caffrey/Joe Benigno Italian grinder seasoned with a Joe Gorga voice of reason. For dessert? A heaping portion of Milania Giudice’s rap debut–mad props to her for having the guts to perform in front of all of those people! I’m full…but these folks are FULL OF IT!
Jennifer gives her an ancient Turkish dagger to “stab people in the back.” Did she just realize that she has to make some waves to get a callback for a second season? After bragging about her Paramus mansion for too many episodes to count, Jennifer amping up the drama tonight. Jackie isn’t the only Housewife she fights with.
The split between Real Housewives of New Jersey OG Danielle Staub and Marty Caffrey has been getting more vicious by the day. The couple’s May nuptials in the Bahamas was filmed for Season 9 of RHONJ. Still, it was clear from the beginning that this relationship was in trouble. The duo slapped each other with restraining orders in August, but they later dropped them. Danielle then retained counsel to end their marriage. Ahh…newlywed bliss!
Marty even listed the house that the newlyweds exes are sharing for sale, but allegedly didn’t tell Danielle. On January 3, Danielle had police remove Marty from their home when the cops arrived regarding a domestic disturbance call. Danielle claimed that Marty is inflicting “emotional torment.” Perhaps it isn’t a great idea to both live in the same house while getting a divorce (just saying.)
I’m not saying that Real Housewives of New Jersey is recycling old storylines and creating manufactured drama, but I’m not NOT going to say that. I guess it’s the curse of all of the long-running franchises, but sheesh! Joe Gorga, spend time with your dad. It will appease your sister Teresa Giudice. And she’ll go easier on your wife Melissa Gorga. However, what will become of your wife’s storyline if this happens? Also, newbies, stop trying so hard to be relevant. The pot stirring, the Chanel obsession, the article writing! Jackie Goldschneider and Jennifer Aydin are overachievers in this department. I guess they learned from watching the likes of Dolores Catania and Danielle Staub (except for the writing part). Exhausted, party of one here!
Back from Bimini, the women are easing back into their daily Jersey routines which includes coffee for Margaret Josephs and lots of screaming kids for the others. Dolores is still harping on ex-husband and roommate Frank Catania for omitting his whole “I got disbarred” conversation from their narrative. Across town, Jackie is lunching with Melissa who is stressing over the party she’s throwing for her son Joey’s first communion. Haven’t the Gorgas learned to keep their drama out of the church, especially where Joey is concerned? Jackie questions the status of Melissa and Tre’s relationship. Then, Melissa shares they two reconciled in Bimini. Jackie reveals that she’s sought the counsel of Dolores, but she’s not yet willing to extend the olive branch. Melissa hopes that Jackie will make her life easier by being the bigger person. Obviously, she knows she can’t count on Teresa for that!
The New Jersey Housewives are really bringing it this season. Even Danielle Staub is contributing a lot of drama even though she’s not a full-time cast member. Unfortunately for her, that drama includes the dissolution of her friendship with Margaret Josephs.
At the beginning of Season 9, Danielle freaked out because Margaret was getting along with Dolores Catania. Her behavior got even worse with her wedding events. She demanded the most expensive gifts from Margaret, Melissa Gorga, and Teresa Giudice. Now she and Margaret are not friends at all. Who can blame her? It just seems like a very demanding (and thankless) friendship.
On last night’s Real Housewives of New JerseyDanielle Staub finally got her happily ever after…at least for a few months. The ladies wake up to the beauty of Bimini, and Teresa Giudice and brother Joe Gorga are finally getting along and bonding over some dumbbells. How appropriate! Margaret Josephs and husband Joe Benigno are also in tropical bliss. Melissa Gorga has foregone the weights for tanning oil to prep for Danielle’s bride squad photo shoot. Everyone is still reeling from Danielle’s comments about soon-to-be husband’s Marty Cafferty’s children. Margaret warns Joe to tread lightly if the guys take Marty out for some pre-ceremony bro shenanigans. Teresa calls Dolores Catania who isn’t the least bit sad she’s not included in nemesis Danielle’s big day. After hearing the previous evening’s dinner drama, she wonders if Danielle will even make it down the aisle.
Danielle is micromanaging her photo shoot, and I feel terrible for her beautiful daughters. The former housewife is disappointed that her tribe of bridesmaids isn’t constantly at her beck and call. Marge is concerned about being a girl that loves cheese in a group of skinny Minnies, and Danielle is peeved when Margaret refuses to take off her lacy pants. Thankfully she’s distracted by her desire to have a Baywatch strut photo and begins screaming out orders for that.