It’s all happening – again! Vanderpump Rules star, Scheana Marie was spotted making out with Bachelorette reject “star” Robby Hayes. Viewers have watched Scheana’s rollercoaster of a love life for the past eight years. You might recall that the earliest seasons of Pump Rules featured Mike Shay – Scheana’s ex-husband. He maybe spoke three times in the three years he was on. After their divorce, Scheana picked things back up with the guy she dated before Mike. You might know him as Rob “he can hang a TV in seven seconds” Valletta. After Rob realized he couldn’t be in a relationship with a robot programmed to say only his name, they broke up. To get over this breakup, Scheana pretended to be The Bachelorette with Robby Hayes.
For those of us who watch both Pump Rules and The Bachelor spinoffs, this was a match made in the heaven that exists for shameless attention-seekers. Robby somehow made it to the final two on Jojo Fletcher’s season of The Bachelorette. Known for his Ken-doll appearance and Ross Gellar teeth, Robby also has a sordid public dating history. He was accused of cheating on Amanda Stanton in public after they left Bachelor in Paradise together. Oh and did I mention, he’s childhood friends with Adam Spott – Scheana’s longtime, former friend with benefits?
Even though Scheana Marie never officially “dated” Adam Spott, she did beg him to tell her he loved her during the last Vanderpump Rules finale. Then she got drunk and cried with Brittany Cartwright’s Mamaw.
She claimed that they were just “best friends” many times over. She also said that he was the first guy she didn’t have to fake orgasms with. Sorry, Mike Shay and Rob Valletta. Now, she’s so done with Adam. Not that they ever officially dated.
There are very few things in this life that I am 100% certain about. I am 100% certain that if I am running late, there will be traffic. I am 100% certain that when I’m “not drinking tonight,” I will have consumed 10 tequila shots by 9 pm. I am also 100% certain that Scheana Marie involves herself in very public, and messy, romantic entanglements for dramatic purposes.
First, there was poor Mike Shay. Scheana and Mike had a marriage that was over before it really even begun. But the blessed union put her front and center on Vanderpump Rules for the majority of that season, and that’s all that really matters. I wonder if Scheana is bitter about the fact that Brittany Cartwright and Jax Taylor’s wedding was an over-the-top extravaganza paid for by sponsored Instagram posts, and all Scheana got was a crop-top wedding dress and a bunch of bedazzled silk roses? After her divorce from Mike, she moved on to Rob Valletta, whose name she mentioned at every. Possible. Opportunity. Then, last season, she badgered poor Adam Spott into “dating” her, and immediately tried to make him jealous by making out with Bachelorette and Bachelor in Paradise-alum, Adam’s friend, Robby Hayes.
Remember when Vanderpump Rules star Scheana Marie dated Rob Valletta? Of COURSE, you do because she was clearly
obsessed in love with him. I mean, she loved Rob even when she married poor Mike Shay (congrats again on dodging a bullet, Shay). Rob was what we like to call, “the one who got away”.
Rob was the perfect guy for Scheana. He had a great house in Los Angeles, a vacation house in Big Bear, a job, and a famous model sister. He could also, say it with me now, HANG A TELEVISION IN SEVEN MINUTES. Scheana timed him, y’all! It doesn’t get much better than that, am I right? Sadly, Scheana and Rob ended their Harlequin Romance due to “tricky schedules”. Or maybe Rob just decided he couldn’t hang with a stage 11 clinger and a bunch of thirtysomething alcoholics with no viable life skills. So whatever happened to Rob? Did he willingly ease back into normal life? Is he suffering from PTSD? If the guy was smart, he voluntarily entered the witness protection program and changed his name.
Vanderpump Rules star Lala Kent has been a rollercoaster of emotions this season. One minute she’s smiling and performing her music. And the next minute she’s unleashed her inner rage onto Billie Lee, Raquel Leviss and James Kennedy. Where’s Lisa Rinna’s chill pill bag when you need it?
Some Pump Rules cast members have had a ring side seat to Lala’s outbursts. Such as Brittany Cartwright who was there to calm her down during Billie’s brunch event at SUR. Others like Scheana Marie, haven’t seen the magnitude of the outbursts until now. And of course, Scheana has some thoughts on the matter.
Apparently, the Vanderpump Rules reunion for Season 7 was quite a doozy. In the past, we’ve seen Scheana Marie cry about the demise of her marriage to Mike Shay. We’ve been entertained by James Kennedy crawling across the floor whilst imitating Stassi Schroeder’s return to the show. We’ve witnessed Katie Maloney be
a refreshing ray of sunshine Katie Maloney.
Through it all, Lisa Vanderpump has tried to corral the group of
level 10 messes thirtysomethings into people who can somehow provide a lasting impact on humanity. Or at least steer clear of a social disease outbreak worthy of a CDC visit. That said, this reunion is evidently one for the record books. Lots of intensity and maybe some physical contact has appeared on the menu, courtesy of your SUR servers.
In the early days of Vanderpump Rules, we met Scheana Shay. Back then she was known as the “homewrecker” who had naughty times with Brandi Glanville’s then-husband. But that was about five faces ago. Scheana went from burgeoning pop princess, to wife, and then back to
bunny boiling stalker single.
Viewers watched as her doomed marriage to Mike Shay fell apart amidst claims of substance abuse and living in Scheana’s shadow. During a tense conversation in the Season 5 reunion, Scheana obsessively checked her make-up while Shay was strung up for further public humiliation. It was relatively brutal to watch and many viewers didn’t blame Shay for
living Valley of the Dolls retreating into his own world. Scheana had already moved on and we haven’t heard much from Shay since then. After such a nasty and public falling out, could these two former lovebirds ever find peace and closure after such a long term relationship?
Bravo is giving out Christmas and Hanukkah gifts early this year because TONIGHT is the season premiere of Vanderpump Rules Season 7. Bring on the pasta – which is what it’s all about, right? Anyway, before we dive into a new season of super dramas, let’s revisit all the chaos from last season.
Without a doubt the three (or maybe four or possibly even 5) biggest dramas from last season were: Jax Taylor cheating on Brittany Cartwright, James Kennedy and Lala Kent ending their friendship accord over pasta (and Though Who Shall Not Be Called Anything Less Than Perfect, Randall Emmett), and Tom 1 & Tom 2 finally growing up to become bar owners with the opening of Tom Tom. Of course in between all that there were accusations that James cheated on Raquel Leviss with both his BFF Logan Noh and possibly Kristen Doute. Then there was Stassi Schroeder finally revealing PATRICK to the world… We wish she’d kept that shit covered. And of course, Scheana Marie had her Super ROB, ROB, ROB, ROB… This is the song that never ends.
SO let’s dive in.