Ain’t no party like a Real Housewives Of New York party! Especially when you mix Leah McSweeney with Sonja Morgan for the ultimate, super potent cocktail. COCK-tail being the operative word considering that a vibrator wound up in the chicken. Imagine the immersion blender capabilities…
It’s the morning after another party where Sonja got so trashed she screamed about shaving pussies in a $39.9 million dollar house. They all wake up to learn Luann de Lesseps fled in the middle of the night citing the horror of being shut into Ramona Singer‘s basement amid the fumes of dog pee and a spider infestation. Is it spider or spite-her? Luann thinks she was put down below on purpose to remind her of her place, but Ramona is probably just thoughtless and a terrible hostess.
They’re all taking a tour of said basement of supposed horrors when Luann calls Ramona to explain why she got so upset. Luann is feeling left out and has FOMO, simple as that. She’s already the outcast for not drinking, then she’s shunted into the basement, hidden away like a pox on fun.
God bless Real Housewives Of New York. Seriously. This show is the gift that keeps on giving and giving and giving, like Sonja Morgan‘s vagina after a couple shots. And Sexy J really went to 11 yesterday.
With the Blue Stone Manor under construction the ladies are in the Hamptons bedding down at Ramona Singer‘s palatial abode. Too bad Luann de Lesseps was still shunted into the finished basement. Still a basement is a basement is a basement with spiders, and smelling a bit like must and dog piss. Which incidentally is probably the scent of the perfume Sonja is bottling as part of her lifestyle collection. After a miserable night Luann bailed to visit her chiropractor while the rest of the ladies hit up a vineyard.
Luann is the tempest in the third floor, and must’ve caused an awful storm to reflect her mood because it was overcast, raining, and gloomy. Ramona decided the theme of this trip is bonding, so she turns a boozy lunch into the opportunity to interrogate everyone about their deepest fears and insecurities. It’s mostly because she wants Tinsley Mortimer to spill the beans, but Tinsley has been around this town and this circuit longer than anyone. Truthfully, because she was born in it and it’s simply not that easy to upend the Tinz.
The inclusion of Leah McSweeney into Real Housewives Of New York is creating a cultural divide between generations. Here we have Leah, a millennial on the cusp of also being a Gen Xer. Someone, ahem, my age. Then we have the rest of the ‘girls.’ Still calling themselves “girls” well (WELL) past the acceptable age of being called so. Which is something only middle-aged women of a certain generation do. These girls are actually OKBoomers, and these boomers are treating Leah and Tinsley Mortimer like their willful daughters who don’t recognize good sense.
The problem is, of course, that Tinsley and Leah are grown-ass women, well-past the acceptable age of being called “girls” themselves. Although Tinsley has clung vehemently to the pretensions of her mother’s generation and, on the surface, tries to adhere to the notions of how one behaves. Leah is more like “fuck it all.” She’s Bethenny Frankel-lite, which is why she’s shaping up to be a good replacement.
The Real Housewives Of New York are back with a vengeance! Except for Bethenny Frankel. That B is outta the picture… Well, not entirely. The episode opens with the ladies reacting to the news that Bethenny has quit. For some this is a blessing; a ripping off of the bandaid to reveal fresh, chemical peeled skin. That would be fellow veterans Ramona Singer and Luann de Lesseps‘ feelings.
For others who were in Bethenny’s Skinnygirl denim hip pocket, they’re sad to see her backside. That would be Sonja Morgan and Dorinda Medley. Sonja, who wants to hoard everything in her emotional basement of horrors – including toxic friendships, is mourning being abandoned.
So that’s that – end of an era until the next time Bethenny needs a career boost! Real talk though: Thank you Bethenny for donating during the coronavirus crisis. A + for B strong.
Well, it is with great sadness that I announce Real Housewives Of New York season 11 has come to an end. I am so thankful god has granted these women the serenity to accept that they WILL NOT change and will forever remain the lovable, dysfunctional, bizarro world kooks we have come to adore.
For all the drama and insults they inflict upon each Real Housewives Of New York is unlike any other franchise in their ability to brush it off, chalk it up to experience, and come back together as more than friends, but family. After so many years knowing each other on and off Bravo, this show is also unique in that most of the relationships predate the show, and will outlast it too.
Unequivocably the major subject of this reunion (and so many others) has been Luann de Lesseps. No wonder Luann has such a huge ego! It’s impossible for me to comprehend that there was a time when Lu was a ‘Friend of…’ and I’m very curious to see how that will play out with Vicki Gunvalson on Real Housewives Of Orange County (which starts next week. WOOT!)
Tonight season 11 of Real Housewives Of New York concludes with part 3 of the reunion. Unlike most Real Housewives franchises I’m always sad to see RHONY go. Even when Barbara Kavovit takes the stage!
That’s right, tonight Barbara finally gets her moment in the sun and she has the endless tan to prove it. Seriously Barbara shows up on stage looking more orange than a New Jersey housewife headed for the shore for the first time all season!
Barbara is also there to discuss her struggle to get along with the group and her friendship with Luann de Lesseps, who made Barbara feel like a second-class friend. Probably the second the cameras started rolling!
Somewhere a satanic cult is using Ramona Singer as their icon. The recap highlighting Ramona’s season full of atrocious behavior and excuses, followed by the flashback of SEASONS worth of Ramona shrugging that she can’t help what comes out of her mouth because that’s the way she is, finally cutting to the present day Real Housewives Of New York reunion stage where, with all the sincerity of a robot, Ramona admits that she‘s horrible… It’s all literally a study of the human brain without emotional intelligence.
I could literally spend this entire recap talking about nothing but Ramona. When have we ever come across a Housewife so comfortably tactless, callous, and clueless that she offered up DEMENTIA as an excuse for being a shitty friend. DEMENTIA people! DE-MEN-TIA. This from a woman who subsequently bragged that it was OK to be obsessed with her appearance because she works “really hard” to remain ageless. Ramona’s attitude (aka the brain of a 14-year-old social media addict) is the most ageless thing of all!
I am going to open this Real Housewives Of New York recap with a controversial confession: I LOVE Feelin’ Jovani! Stone me with sequins and rhinestones; I don’t care I will wear Jovani anywhere — and it feels so right!
How righteous was it for Andy Cohen to play the track during the reunion. While Luann de Lesseps mouthed the words to her own anthem. The other women avoided her eyes out of sheer second-hand embarrassment. I guess you could say they were feelin’ embarrassed, and it felt so wrong.
Anyway, now the outfits! Bethenny Frankel wore a dress that looks like a Tetris game. Which is appropriate considering how many puzzle pieces there are to Bethenny’s life and it’s near impossible to see how all the wonky angles fit together. Luann looked like she was wearing Jovani to her own funeral. Again, apropos.