Summer is officially over, Good Vibe Tribe. That’s right, we’ve reached the end of the road for Season 5 of Summer House. And frankly, I can’t believe it’s time for this chapter to close. The season truly flew by and I want more! Good thing we have Winter House, or whatever Bravo plans on calling it, to look forward to sooner rather than later. And also one last reunion episode to dissect and dig into. Because summer should be fun, and there’s nothing more fun than a reunion. Let’s do it!
Of course, Part 2 kicks off in the wake of Kyle Cooke storming off the reunion set. But really, do you blame him? Imagine if someone you considered a friend said the only reason she delivered such an overblown, ridiculous apology to you was because she knew all you cared about was feeling good about yourself. (That’s called Projecting 101 for all of you at home.) It takes a pep talk from Lindsay Hubbard to get him calmed down and back in his seat. Meanwhile, Paige DeSorbo is doling out some tough love to a crying Hannah Berner on the opposite couch. Get. It. Together. Girl.
Well, Good Vibe Tribe. We’ve finally arrived at the end of summer. It’s here, and after 12 weeks, Season 5 of Summer House is drawing to a close. And to be honest, I’m feeling a little shortchanged. The cast was quarantined together for six weeks straight, and all we got was a dozen episodes out of it? That’s two less than last season. And the season before it, actually. Could production not squeeze just a little more drama out of 42 days of filming? I’m not actually mad about it, I’m just sad because I’m not ready for the season to be over yet.
The finale kicks off with Hannah Berner continue to rage about the fight she picked with the other girls about Des Bishop. Hannah wasn’t being defensive, she was simply defending herself, mmmk? She claims Amanda Batula came at her about her boyfriend (she didn’t) and that Paige DeSorbo didn’t defend her (her behavior was indefensible). Add in the fact that everyone likes Danielle Olivera‘s boyfriend more than hers and Hannah is seething. But the only person giving her tantrum the time of day is Ciara Miller. So how about we just let her spiral in her room and stop giving her the attention she so badly craves. Deal?
If I have to listen to Hannah Berner brag for one more second about all the sex she had with Des Bishop in the Summer House, I’m going to vomit. But that’s right where this week’s episode begins. With Des bragging about going down on Hannah in Kyle Cooke and Amanda Batula‘s bathroom. As if we could’ve scrubbed that particular detail from our collective brains in the last seven days. Even Paige DeSorbo, who is very, very drunk, is bound to remember. She promises not to tell Kyle. But we all know he’s bound to flip his lid come reunion time. And rightfully so.
But let’s try to move on. Because I can’t think about it anymore. The roommates move out of the hot tub and into the house for the night. And there are couples everywhere. While Danielle Olivera and Robert Sieber fight for the last stale peach ring, a drunk Lindsay Hubbard finally gives in and makes up with Stephen Traversie. As in, they’re officially back together. Boyfriend and girlfriend. And immediately Stravy wants to get engaged and have babies. But first, Lindsay allows him to unpack his bags and move back into the house. Small victories for Stravy, I guess.
There’s been a shift in the Summer House. After nine episodes largely centered on the drama between Hannah Berner, Luke Gulbranson and Ciara Miller, everything came to an explosive head in last week’s fight between the guys and the immediate fallout. After crying it out over family dinner, the Good Vibe Tribe has closed the book on that drama. And it definitely feels like we’ve entered the back half of the season with a fresh start and a clean slate. No Instagram psychics allowed.
It’s also the perfect time to add some new personalities to the mix. After weeks in quarantine, we’re livening things up and breaking the “no outsiders” rule with the arrival of the boyfriends. Because if Stephen Traversie can come and go (and still not get a confessional), why not have a more open door policy? So let’s just bring in literally every single male love interest we can find from outside the house, shall we? Well, not every one…poor Paige DeSorbo. But we’ll get to that in a second.