Robyn Sullivan Brown

Last night’s Sister Wives continued the very anti-climatic adoption adventures of the Brown clan. The adults converge on the cul-de-sac to head to their attorney’s office. Kody Brown explains for the eighty-seventh time why he’s adopting Robyn’s biological children is so important. Robyn is concerned that her kids may have to take the stand in family court and that they won’t realize just how emotional it will be for the grown-ups. Meri discusses her conflicting feelings both before and during the divorce process from Kody. She admits that she’s had some surprising revelations she’s determined to keep hidden for now–Meri wants her focus to be on the adoption.  

Madison has an announcement, and she wants to meet with her dad, Janelle, and Christine. She explains that she’s already told her mom her big news, she wants to share it with her father and Christine. She states that while she loves Meri and Robyn, she has a special bond with Christine who was her stay-at-home mom. Madison begins by telling Kody that he’s going to be a grandfather. Stunned, Kody and Christine are silent long enough for Madison to assure them she was just joking. She’s in love, and it’s with someone the family knows. When Madison utters his name, “Caleb Brush,” Christine tackles her from across the room. She LOVES that boy! It’s sweet to see how happy Madison is as well. He’s the brother of her aunt, but not a blood relative. Caleb’s sister was Kody’s late brother’s wife. Christine wants to know if they are going to get married. Kody wants to pump the brakes. Isn’t Caleb ten years older than Madison? Madison reminds her father he’s eleven years older than her mother. She then calls Meri and Robyn over to share her excitement. It is hands down the happiest we’ve seen Meri this season.

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On last night’s Sister Wives, announcements were abundant. There were announcements on top of announcements interrupting announcements. But hey, at least we were spared a Brown party! After a quick daddy-daughter getaway, Kody Brown is back home with his four wives and umpteen children. Christine giggles with glee as Robyn reveals that they are filing the adoption papers with family court. Meri remains dour on the sofa, and Christine is concerned about a judge’s opinion on plural marriage. If Meri were any more checked out of this situation, she’d be a library book. She’s making Janelle look like a cheerleader!

Kody and his wives head to their attorney’s office where Sobbin’ Robyn cries tears of joy to learn that if this works out, her kids will be issued new birth certificates with Kody’s name listed as their father. Kody tries to high-five Meri–this wouldn’t have been possible without her–and she’s all, “that’s cool.” Does no one in the family realize Meri has become nothing more than a mute placeholder? I could swear she rolls her eyes when Christine says that Kody is a great person for Robyn to have as her kids’ dad. 

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On last night’s Sister Wives, Kody Brown wants to bond with his daughters after realizing that his relationships with his boys are much stronger. His daughter Ysabel (with Christine) is turning twelve and she wants to spend her birthday with her dad and her sisters. Kody has decided to treat his preteen daughters to a long weekend at the beach to celebrate. Of course, as he’s sharing the plans, he cuts off Ysabel with some sort of gibberish while playing on his cellphone. The girls are over the moon that they finally get to spend some quality time with the father they don’t often get to spend time with in such a small group. 

Janelle knows her youngest Savanah will be in good hands with Kody, but she admits that it’s hard for her to let go since she’s so used to being the main parent. Kody believes he’s going to have a much easier time than his wives predict. His daughters won’t get nearly as jealous competing with each other for his attention as his wives do. Of course, the crew isn’t even out of the driveway before the girls are arguing. Kody is packing the car with the skills of a Tetris beginner. Robyn is micro-managing…wear sunscreen, take breaks, drink water. Janelle is hopeful that a healthy father-daughter relationship will help the Brown girls as they navigate puberty. Robyn believes that if they are confident in Kody’s love, they’ll be less likely to give up their purity behind the bleachers like she did. 

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I feel like Sister Wives is glossing over just how much is involved in adopting children when there is a living parent who hasn’t terminated parental rights, but what do I know? Plus, who can be bothered with legal woes when there is a Pirate Festival complete with a cardboard boat race. Kody Brown and his kids are excited to partake, and the family has to take a class on how to build the boat, and Meri promises to be the biggest cheerleader…from a distance. The crew decides to split into two teams to build two boats. Janelle is leading one group and Kody, Robyn, and Christine are arguing over the other boat. Christine doesn’t understand why Robyn keeps arguing because Kody is going to do whatever he wants regardless. 

The Brown kids are excited about the race, but not the process leading up to it. Parents will be yelling, dad’s hair is getting more uncontrollable, and the kids are fighting for more attention. Kody keeps reminding his wives that he is always right, and he has wonderful grand plans that aren’t going to work out given their time constraint. Robyn responds that she’s nothing but a supportive wife, but she likes that Christine has her back with an aggressive Kody. He doesn’t want to lose, and Christine and Robyn are bonding over impersonating their pissy husband. Janelle comes down the cul-de-sac to check out the competition but she quickly retreats when she senses the vibe of Kody tag team fighting with Christine and Robyn. Over on Janelle’s team, the kids are the ones causing s ruckus. No one is enjoying bossy pants Gabe who clearly takes after his old man. I’m starting to think this fun family bonding experience is anything but…

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There’s no M E R I in “team,” so the legal union of Kody Brown and Robyn Sullivan Brown took place on last week’s Sister Wives sans original first wife Meri. Now, it’s time for the family to focus on the purpose behind this paperwork shuffle…adopting Robyn’s three kids from her previous marriage. Of course, wouldn’t it have been more prudent to find out if said children’s biological father was willing to terminate his parental rights before shifting the family dynamic? Janelle and Christine are secondary players in this triangle, and they don’t seem all that bothered by it. 

Kody has come to the realization that he’s got a lot of children, and having a lot of kids is hard when you have to tackle such tough topics like building a new play-set for the younger kids, newly engaged Madison joining the LDS church, and adopting Robyn’s three children. The moms call in Robyn’s children and clumsily try to explain the paperwork shuffle that will allow Kody to adopt them once they get the green light from their father. Robyn’s oldest daughter is over the moon. Kody reminds the children of Meri’s part in this deal, and they all offer up hugs of thanks.  

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Someone’s gotten a bit of a haircut! Sister Wives returned last night with a vengeance. Kody Brown excites with his fresh trim–it’s so subtle that only one as obsessed with his mane as I am might notice the glorious new style, but it’s fresh.

Leading up to the new season, the participation of Meri has been questioned, but I think last night’s premiere solidifies that she’s pretty much here to stay…although we didn’t see much of Christine. Janelle looks amazing, but I am waiting for her exodus. Go girl. As for Robyn? She’s already relishing her role as Kody’s real wife, although it’s purely on paper. That said, I made my friend Trey watch with me, and asked his thoughts after the episode ended. “Girl, if we had to take a shot every time that guy with bad hair and the denim suit said ‘paperwork,’ we’d both be dead.” And he’d be right. 

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