Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives Of Orange County and with all the chaos, the only thing I could think about was that Gina Kirschenheiter is actually MOVING her word art collection. Like it’s priceless art. Frankly I’m surprised she wasn’t selling it to Sothebys. But seriously you guys, just like her marriage and her ex-man, that stuff is garbage!
Gina decided to reconcile with Matt, and she is glowing like a teenager with a crush as she tells Emily Simpson that he’s truly changed. Gina believes this is a second chance at their marriage. They’ve sold their Coto home and are moving some place new and fresh, and Gina doesn’t even worry about what Matt’s doing in LA.
Well, just like Gina cut the dead ends off her hair, she needs to cut off Matt! Emily knows this, but she tries to be supportive. We can see in others what we can’t see in ourselves, right!
It appears no one can save demoted Real Housewives of Orange County star, Vicki Gunvalson from her own mouth. In a superhuman effort to remain pertinent to the cast, Vicki has inserted herself into all kinds of controversial content. Even though Vicki’s status went from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated” with her orange, she still plays a heavy role on the show. Unfortunately, her way with
rumors words might have earned her more clapbacks than a standing ovation.
Without Vicki, there would have been no sex train this season. We wouldn’t have a nickname for Brown Wind Windham-Burke. And viewers would be remiss to have escaped Vicki’s annual visit to the hospital during a cast trip. While Vicki’s campaign to come back full time has been rammed down our faces, some viewers and cast members feel it might be time for her to go once and for all. Now, Vicki’s words have gotten her into hot water once again. Condragulations, honey!
If you crammed any more drama, hijinks, meltdowns, and hysterias (and medical issues!) into this episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County I think it would explode a la Kelly Dodd after 2 cocktails and exposure to a snarky meme. Things would just come flying out, every which way, and the only thing that would be left standing amid the rubble would be Tamra Judge and the two giant inflatable jugs she has strapped to her chest as a bullet-proof vest/getaway life raft.
I literally can’t even begin to dissect all the switching animosities and loyalties, but all I have to say is Tamra is masterful at manipulating these women in a tizzy of stupidity. And Kyle Richards thinks Lisa Vanderpump plays chess…
You guys I’m sorry – I am having Thanksgiving fever and 15 houseguests, and I just cannot get it together with the Real Housewives Of Orange County nonsense today.
Tamra Judge and Kelly Dodd are like your mother and your mother-in-law at the same holiday dinner. They’re not gonna speak or look at each other. But, they are going to viciously jab from all corners until it all comes bubbling to the surface over the way to make gravy or something.
Braunwyn Windham-Burke invited all the women to Miami so they can understand her better. Apparently, we’re now defining our personalities by cities, so Braunwyn is a Miami person. In Miami, she liked having sex with her husband, clubbed constantly, and wore skanky clothes to the grocery store. Whereas in Orange County, Braunwyn has to hide her wild side? I don’t get it… How was Braunwyn doing all this partying in between 52 pregnancies, nursing 19 babies, and also well, ostensibly, parenting? We don’t ever get a clear answer about why they left Miami, just like we don’t get a clear answer about why this is the sad-sack trip RHOC got this season. I blame Tamra because I blame her for everything.
Well, if there’s one thing a Housewives show doesn’t need more celebration of it’s boobs, although I think Real Housewives Of Orange County gave us the first itineration of celebrating boobs that weren’t just used for sex appeal… that is until Braunwyn Windham-Burke whipped hers out at her No More Nursing fiesta.
The theme of this party made absolutely no sense. It was a boobs bacchanalia with strippers, a nipple cake, and dildos on the wall, but Brauwnyn called it a “weaning party” meant to celebrate the end of nursing after 18 years.
Braunwyn’s entire life is reliving the youth she never got to experience, which is ironic only in that Dr. Deb‘s desperation to capture a thwarted youth is the sole reason why Braunwyn resents and hates her mother. So maybe Braunwyn will go on to have an illustrious career as a plastic surgeon specializing in mommy makeover boob jobs? I just can’t with this exhausting woman and her constant need to show off as the hot, fun mom. Enough already!
Real Housewives Of Orange County is all about mommy issues this season, isn’t it? From the women having them with their own mothers (Kelly Dodd and Braunwyn Windham-Burke) to having them with their own children (Tamra Judge and Shannon Beador), to being questionable mothers themselves (almost everyone).
Last night Shannon and Braunwyn tried to navigate sending children to college, Tamra sent Ryan Vieth to counseling, and all that was like blah, blah, blah… yada, yada, yada because the truly horrific, scarring, awfulness was the true exposure of just what a terrible person Tamra is. So much so that I actually feel bad for Racist Ryan.
Tamra has just returned from this truly life-altering and earth-shattering vacation in Scottsdale, AZ where she learned a pivotal message about being the leader of the mean girls: you can never turn your back – not even for a day. Not even for a hike with your husband. In Tamra’s absence, she’s gotten a slew of angry text messages from Kelly, and Shannon is basically giving her the silent treatment.
Ahhhh… Bravo is starting the holiday season off early with the gift of Tamra Judge‘s web of deceit, dishonestly, and backstabbing being unraveled! I probably shouldn’t get too excited though because knowing how Real Housewives Of Orange County rolls, Tamra will somehow find a way to get out of this. Snakes can fit through the smallest crevices, after all!
It all starts with Tamra and Shannon Beador heading to dinner with Kelly Dodd. Their plan is to confront Kelly for her comment that the only time she’ll celebrate Vicki Gunvalson is at Vicki’s funeral. Shannon is devastated that Kelly is so callous and diabolical with her words (as if she didn’t have a phony funeral for her marriage a couple seasons back!), but suddenly Tamra – who started all this drama – plays devil’s advocate (cause she’s the devil!) that Kelly has a right to be angry given all the horrible things Vicki has said about her like that train rumor (which Tamra shared with the group many times over)! And most recently when Vicki reveled how Kelly tried to throw her mama from the train. Or was it stairs? Deetails-Schmeetails!
Braunwyn Windham-Burke is enjoying her freshman season on Real Housewives of Orange County. She showed up with 7 kids, a mom who lives an “alternative lifestyle”, and a husband with an enchanting necklace collection. Braunwyn has experienced ups and downs in her marriage to Sean Burke. Now that she has signed her family up for reality television, her life is under a microscope. In the past, Braunwyn has admitted being a “big fan” of RHOC, so she knew what she was in for when the cameras started rolling.
Marriage is a big topic in Braunwyn’s life. Aside from Emily Simpson, Braunwyn and Sean have the only holy union currently intact. It wasn’t always that way though. The fact that Braunwyn and her husband have an atypical marriage is no secret. Braunwyn clearly has eyes for the ladies, especially after indulging in a
cry for attention public make-out session with Tamra Judge. Gina Kirschenheiter even suggested there has been infidelity in Braunwyn’s happy home. Now we learn amid the threesomes, the love shack, and whatever Dr. Deb is doing with her hair, Gina was right. Braunwyn gives details on the cheating that rocked her arrangement wedding vows, and who did the stepping out.