Remember when Danielle Mullins’ white binder of evihdunz was the most controversial thing happening on the 90 Day Fiance Tell All stage? Yeah, those days are gone. Because this year’s crew has pretty much topped out TLC’s hit show for deranged behavior, off-screen drama, and unhappily ever after endings. In real time, Colt Johnson has filed for divorce from Larissa Dos Santos Lima after her third (yes, THIRD) arrest for domestic battery. Jonathan Rivera and Fernanda Flores have split. And, it looks as if he fancies himself the next
D-list Bachelor. Poor Ashley Martson was admitted to the hospital this weekend after being found unresponsive in her apartment (sources report she’s doing better now) from complications of Lupus. We don’t know whether she and Jay Smith are even still together. Steven Frend and Olga Koshimbetova are officially “on” since her visa was approved in December. Eric Rosenbrook and Leida Margaretha continue to post troubling videos about Leida being “suicidal” on social media. Kalani Faagata and Asuelu Pulaa are having baby boy number two. And effing EVERYONE has a GoFundMe.
So…good times! But for our last installment of the season six Tell All, we’ll try to suspend disbelief and comment on the lunacy we saw last night. Because there was plenty to go around. Let’s link arms and stumble off the battlefield of this 90 Day Fiance season like the wounded soldiers we are. Viewers of 90 Day Fiance, I salute you! You deserve a medal.
Part 2 of the 90 Day Fiance Tell All for season six airs tonight. The battle between Larissa Dos Santos Lima and Fernanda Flores rages on. Fernanda and Larissa hurl insults at each other. They are backed up by soon-to-be ex-husbands, Colt Johnson and Jonathan Rivera. There are even a few “Housewives” style walk-offs.
At least we’re treated to a full-on traditional Samoan dance by our beloved Asuelu Pulaa at the end. This might wash away .001 percent of the grime we’re covered with after watching all of these couples act like fools for the past fourteen weeks.
Last night, Shaun Robinson attempted to tame the wild beasts of the Season 6 90 Day Fiance cast. Alas, only Asuelu Pulaa came out unscathed – although we can’t be totally sure about his boohole situation. As the entire motley crew sat down for their traditional Couples Tell All reunion special, one thing was apparent: Eric Rosenbrook and Leida Margaretha are still the absolute worst. No contest.
The reunion started off with intros all around, minus Colt Johnson and Larissa Dos Santos Lima, who decided to get there when they damn well felt like it! At least everyone else decided to show up for their ritual hazing, starting from left to right: Ashley Martson, Jay Smith, Kalani Faagata, Asuelu, Jonathan Rivera,Fernanda Flores, Eric, Leida, Steven Frend, and Olga Koshimbetova via Skype.
The season six Tell All of 90 Day Fiance is almost upon us, and so is a heaping helping of more lies coming from Jay Smith’s mouth. Tonight, it looks like Jay is put on the hot seat pretty much right out of the gate. Host Shaun Robinson asks him just what the eff he was thinking creating that Tinder account?
Ashley Martson argues that Jay never really committed himself to the marriage. Of course, Jay has plenty of excuses. At the top of the list: He just thought Tinder was a place to make “friends!” Aww, poor Jay. He’s just sitting around on the ole’ iPad and…BAM! He’s got twelve side chicks. It could happen to anyone.
Sigh. It seems like only yesterday that these mild-to-highly disturbed folks came into our lives, but alas, ‘tis time to say goodbye! Before the six couples of 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days float on down the rancid river of their bad decisions forever, we at least get one final rumble on a very tiny couch, complete with Angela popping off on Rachel while two grown men physically restrain her. And really, what more could we ask for?
Last night, Shaun Robinson hosted the 90 Day version of a TLC reunion, known as The Couples Tell All, in which the American fiances come together (plus Jesse, who would attend the opening of an envelope if it meant more screen time) to talk to their Skyped-in lovahs. At each Tell All, we are promised updates on the couples’ plans since we’ve seen them last. But what we actually get at these twisted shindigs is OH SO much more.
Even though each and every cast member of 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days could single-handedly bring enough dramatic trash TV to carry an entire season, tonight we’re in for a real treat. Because the Couples Tell All reunion is here!
And you know what that means: The entire cast is about to be crammed on to one tiny couch to claw each other’s eyes out in the name of love and fodderhood. Plus, their partners in crime are all set to Skype in via large screen TV to fight with them through the magic of broadband, with only Shaun Robinson poised betwixt them to control the chaos. Or maybe just gawk at it?
What do you get when you bring six dysfunctional couples together (minus one Luis), dress them up, then let them openly judge one another’s abysmal choices in life? Yes, it’s time for the 90 Day Fiance Happily Ever After Couples Tell All, part one! Shaun Robinson is back to host/mediate the madness, and we are here to eat our popcorn and watch how long it takes for Jorge to start lying his eyebrows clean off.
Before the cast is assembled on the couch, the drama begins. Paola, who came HARD for Anfisa last year – calling her an ugly mail-order bride – decides to apologize to Anfisa backstage for the sake of appearances. But when she approaches Anfisa Of The Dead Shark Eyes, Paola has no idea what she’s in for – because homegirl just flat out ignores her before brushing right past her without a word! Immediately, Paola starts popping off about what a b*tch Anfisa is and how she’s “not going to beg anyone for forgiveness.” (Um…you might want to rethink this first move, Pao. This is not going to end well for anyone not named Anfisa.) Thus, this disaster of a reunion begins…
We have travelled a long, weary, karate-kicking road. And here we are once again at the end of another journey
through the sewer. Tonight 90-Day Fiance Happily Ever After will air part one of its two-part Couples Tell All reunion, complete with accusations, lies, justifications…and maybe even a Family Chantel-inspired fistfight? And we wouldn’t have it any other way!
Shaun Robinson will host this season’s six couples, some of whom have a bitter history with one another from Tell Alls of yesteryear. Anfisa, specifically, will come prepared for battle. Since Jorge (and just about everyone else) threw her under the bus last year for her alleged “prositutorial” work, she’s been gathering her strength and purse-swinging skills to swat back at the haters. Also, it looks like homegirl might have smuggled a shank underneath her coat backstage. #speculation