Sister Wives Recap

I feel like Sister Wives is glossing over just how much is involved in adopting children when there is a living parent who hasn’t terminated parental rights, but what do I know? Plus, who can be bothered with legal woes when there is a Pirate Festival complete with a cardboard boat race. Kody Brown and his kids are excited to partake, and the family has to take a class on how to build the boat, and Meri promises to be the biggest cheerleader…from a distance. The crew decides to split into two teams to build two boats. Janelle is leading one group and Kody, Robyn, and Christine are arguing over the other boat. Christine doesn’t understand why Robyn keeps arguing because Kody is going to do whatever he wants regardless. 

The Brown kids are excited about the race, but not the process leading up to it. Parents will be yelling, dad’s hair is getting more uncontrollable, and the kids are fighting for more attention. Kody keeps reminding his wives that he is always right, and he has wonderful grand plans that aren’t going to work out given their time constraint. Robyn responds that she’s nothing but a supportive wife, but she likes that Christine has her back with an aggressive Kody. He doesn’t want to lose, and Christine and Robyn are bonding over impersonating their pissy husband. Janelle comes down the cul-de-sac to check out the competition but she quickly retreats when she senses the vibe of Kody tag team fighting with Christine and Robyn. Over on Janelle’s team, the kids are the ones causing s ruckus. No one is enjoying bossy pants Gabe who clearly takes after his old man. I’m starting to think this fun family bonding experience is anything but…

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There’s no M E R I in “team,” so the legal union of Kody Brown and Robyn Sullivan Brown took place on last week’s Sister Wives sans original first wife Meri. Now, it’s time for the family to focus on the purpose behind this paperwork shuffle…adopting Robyn’s three kids from her previous marriage. Of course, wouldn’t it have been more prudent to find out if said children’s biological father was willing to terminate his parental rights before shifting the family dynamic? Janelle and Christine are secondary players in this triangle, and they don’t seem all that bothered by it. 

Kody has come to the realization that he’s got a lot of children, and having a lot of kids is hard when you have to tackle such tough topics like building a new play-set for the younger kids, newly engaged Madison joining the LDS church, and adopting Robyn’s three children. The moms call in Robyn’s children and clumsily try to explain the paperwork shuffle that will allow Kody to adopt them once they get the green light from their father. Robyn’s oldest daughter is over the moon. Kody reminds the children of Meri’s part in this deal, and they all offer up hugs of thanks.  

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Someone’s gotten a bit of a haircut! Sister Wives returned last night with a vengeance. Kody Brown excites with his fresh trim–it’s so subtle that only one as obsessed with his mane as I am might notice the glorious new style, but it’s fresh.

Leading up to the new season, the participation of Meri has been questioned, but I think last night’s premiere solidifies that she’s pretty much here to stay…although we didn’t see much of Christine. Janelle looks amazing, but I am waiting for her exodus. Go girl. As for Robyn? She’s already relishing her role as Kody’s real wife, although it’s purely on paper. That said, I made my friend Trey watch with me, and asked his thoughts after the episode ended. “Girl, if we had to take a shot every time that guy with bad hair and the denim suit said ‘paperwork,’ we’d both be dead.” And he’d be right. 

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It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for (or at least that I’ve been waiting for…how sad is that?). TLC’s Sister Wives is going to fill us in on the secret behind Kody Brown’s divorce from first (and only legal) wife Meri. I can’t wait to see how they spin this situation. Like everything else surrounding the Browns, it’s sure to be extremely anticlimactic and involve some embarrassing lip sync performance. Let’s find out, shall we? 

Because of the Oscars, it’s been two weeks since we last saw the Browns. The episode and season finale (finally!) begins with Meri meeting with her attorney regarding a split from Kody. She reveals that the family would really love for Kody to be able to adopt Robyn’s three children from her previous marriage, and in order for that to happen, she would need to be legally married to him. Aha! That’s it? She worries that should something happen to Robyn, the family would have no legal claim to her children. According to Meri, Kody and Robyn do not know she’s investigating this option. Her lawyer details the process–she and Kody won’t even have to go to court. There will be a ten day waiting period, and then Robyn can marry Kody. Meri’s only fear is that once all is said and done, Kody still won’t be able to adopt Robyn’s kids. After all they are a polygamist family and Robyn’s ex-husband would have to terminate his parental rights. Lots of variables there, folks! 

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Can we make the anthropologists regulars on Sister Wives? Finally they are asking the questions I want answered…except for the big one–why does Kody Brown own so much denim? 

Kody and Janelle are still trying to get to the bottom of the movie theater brawl between Garrison and Gabriel. Before punishing Garrison for smacking Gabriel by not allowing him to go on his ROTC trip to Hawaii, Kody calls in Paedon as a witness. Gabriel has been swearing up and down that he didn’t touch his brother, but Paedon confirms Garrison’s story. Yes, Garrison smacked Gabe, but only after Gabe slapped him. Knowing he’s been caught in a lie, Gabriel’s cheeks turn red and he’s on the verge of tears. Kody questions why he was so afraid to tell the truth…it’s not like he’s ever been spanked. I just wish this poor kid was being disciplined off camera. He is totally embarrassed. They take away a privilege, but Janelle knows the shame of being caught is the bigger punishment. Christine wonders if she can now trust Gabe, and Meri has decided that she and Kody are going to dress as the denim twins.

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Much like all of us have been doing for several seasons, anthropologist students have decided to research why four women have decided to spend their spare time braiding Kody Brown’s hair. On last night’s Sister Wives, social scientists moved into the cul-de-sac compound to study the true dynamic among Meri, Janelle, Christine, Robyn and their brood of children. I want to know the time line of when these episodes were filmed. Was it before or after the great wife swap of 2014? Perhaps that will be addressed in the SECOND HOUR…or not (really, TLC?) of last night’s Sister Wives, which is aptly titled “All About Robyn.” 

Christine is thrilled to have her mom Annie moved into her home, although the kids are taking some time to adjust to another adult in the house. That evening, Kody makes the announcement that four anthropology graduate students will be coming to visit and study the family. Kody believes these grad students have hit the jackpot with his family. The students’ professor coaches the students on what to watch for…who is the sex wife? Who is the love wife? Will there be another wife? Potentially the young student who is now fearful she needs to fake a relationship to thwart Kody’s advances? The wives and Kody go to meet with the students to set some ground rules. The students don’t want to be treated like guests. 

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