I cannot tell a lie. Southern Charm has been one of my guilty pleasures since it first premiered, but the past few seasons have been far too dark and depressing…like Bravo was exploiting some serious issues of people with young children simply for entertainment value–oh wait. But I couldn’t let myself think such harsh thoughts about the mother ship, so I focused on the background, a city I love with all of my heart. That said, with a Kathryn Dennis comeback (who knew I’d ever be excited about that?) and a return to friendships that existed long before the cameras arrived, this season is very refreshing. Throw in a cringe-worthy Thomas Ravenel and Craig Conover’s Singer, and it’s ratings gold.
Cameran Eubanks is trying to induce labor while reveling in her shower gift from Patricia Altschul, butler Michael on loaner. The South’s Mr. Belvedere is helping her organize gadgets while sweetly prodding her to make her own baby food…or rather have her chef or her chef’s assistant whip up some organic goodies for her little one. It is the way of the well-to-do, after all. Cameran retorts that she’s far from high society–she’ll be getting canned jarred Gerber BOGO, a-thank you very much. She may not need the finer things, but she won’t shrug off a foot massage from the man behind the caftan. Let’s be honest, I wouldn’t either. There’s something about that Williams-Sonoma apron…
I’m not sure what Southern Charm is attempting with its new introduction, but it does seamlessly help transition from one episode to the other. We’re still treated to the Charmers starting their day, but if I’m being completely honest, I could have done without a certain aging Lothario slothing around in his bathrobe and making googley eyes at his latest contender for child bride.
Thomas Ravenel and new lady Ashley are cuddling in bed as he praises her for having a “real woman’s heart”…whatever that means. Across town, Patricia Altschul calls Cameran Eubanks to discuss a co-ed baby shower. Pat and Cam bond over uncomfortable pregnancies, Cameran promises to provide a guest list. Patricia interrupts to say that since she’s hosting, she’ll compile the guest list. At Kathryn Dennis’ new apartment, the young mom is playing with Kensie and Saint. Only getting her kids every other weekend, Kathryn focuses on spending all of her time bonding with her toddlers. Kensie is an attentive big sister, ordering Saint around like it’s her job, and it will be for the rest of her life. My younger brother would say the same!
Last night’s Southern Charm invited us to sit down with our favorite man children and the girls who love to hate them…and sometimes hate to love them. All poor Shep Rose wants is to celebrate his thirty-eighth birthday, but Naomie Olindo and Danni Baird have other plans. Kathryn Dennis manages to keep her cool despite Thomas Ravenel flaunting new arm candy in her heavily made up face. It’s the south’s version of the dinner party from hell, minus the e-cigarette and psychic.
At Shep’s house, Craig Conover is lording over raw meat as T-Rav and his new lady bitch about Kathryn and joke about Ashley becoming T-Rav’s new bride and his children’s new mom. Classy. The charmers arrive at the party with Cameran Eubanks waddling up with in her finest maternity wear that showcases her adorable bump. Ashley tries to butter up the mini-matriarch by asking if she’s only five months along in her pregnancy…as if she doesn’t stalk her on social media. Cameran questions Craig about how he feels seeing Naomie, and he’s nervous. In the Uber with the girls, Naomie admits she feels the same way. Likewise, Austen Kroll and Chelsea Meissner are awaiting their own uneasy encounters. T-Rav jokes that J.D. calls this gal crew the “break-up bunch.” The ladies are all about supporting each other while tearing down their narcissistic Peter Pan counterparts.
It. Is. Here. I feel like it’s been an eternity since Southern Charm graced us with its presence. Having moved away from Charleston in January, I’m sure it will make me a tad homesick to watch, but that’s okay because the salacious drama and ridiculous debauchery will make it all better. Hell, I didn’t even get sad when I saw that Jax Taylor, Kristen Doute, and Brittany Cartwright were partying LAST NIGHT with Shepard “Shep” Rose and Chelsea Meissner at a bar two blocks from my old stomping ground. It’s a magical place for sure…and this show can’t taint it even with all of its absurdity. Plus, did we mention no Landon??
So it begins like every other season…with a bang up fight that we won’t see fully until the end. This time our sneak peek into the future surrounds a Christmas party at the Hibernian that went south (literally) really quickly as Kathryn Dennis cusses out Thomas Ravenel’s flavor of the month who in turn calls Kathryn an egg donor. Ouch. But three months earlier, everything is a bit sunnier in my favorite place. Cameran Eubanks is close to giving birth with her first child, a little girl. It’s been an uncomplicated pregnancy up until the last several weeks, but Shep knows how to entice his friend out of bed with some Chick-fil-A. Works every time. What doesn’t work? Shep’s relationship that culminated on his spin-off Relationshep. His twenty-three-year-old paramour went to bed at eleven. That’s way too early for Shep. His whirlwind romance lasted all of five days in New York City. Alas, Shep is ready to move on and celebrate his thirty-eighth birthday. Priorities.
I’m not going to lie…I’m still kicking myself for not going to the Southern Charm Reunion viewing party hosted by Gentry bourbon last night, but alas my day job got in the way. At Gentry’s finale party, Shep and Craig were there to watch with fans, and there was even a guest appearance by Dale Earnhardt, Jr. What? I am a closet NASCAR fan. Only in the south, y’all! Of course, it may have been harder to watch with the cast before snarking on their ridiculous behavior, so perhaps it was for the best!
As last night’s conclusion begins, Kathryn Dennis is still on the rampage regarding perceived indiscretions between Thomas Raveneland Jennifer Snowden, and T-Rav is at the point of exploding. Kathryn then defends herself against the negative viewer reactions to her lunch with Jennifer while she sat like an ice queen glaring as Jennifer cried over her son’s health issues. Kathryn flips the switch and blames her assumption that Jennifer was using her tears to manipulate future editing of the scene. Jennifer is appalled that anyone would think she’d use her son for personal gain with plans, and it’s Kathryn’s turn to switch on the waterworks. Craig Conover reminds her that in rehab she probably learned she pushes people away as a defense mechanism. Yes, that’s right. Kathryn was in rehab. She’s on a journey. It’s about forgiveness talking about learning to do difficult things and realizing what battles are worth fighting. In case you’re wondering, grudges about handkerchiefs fall in the latter category.
The Southern Charm reunions have certainly come a long way from those initial clubhouse sessions, but do we ever get to hear exactly what we’re hoping to hear? It’s usually just one giant tease, but at least we got our fair share of veiled threats and backhanded accusations on last night’s first installment with less screaming, for once. Andy Cohen begins by congratulating Craig Conover on passing the bar. He compliments the fierceness of Kathryn Dennis‘ hair (RIP bump-its and bad extensions, thank goodness) while refraining from comment on her busted Scarlett O’Hara knock-off. Andy is happy to learn that Shep Rose has escaped the lingering enzyme, Thomas Ravenel loves being Mr. Mom (when he makes it out to the guest house), and Cameran Eubanks is glowing with a baby girl due in November. Mentioning Cam could name her daughter Landon, Andy basically skips over Landon Clements before announcing newbie Austen Kroll (Shep 2.0) has a nice ass. It’s not a lie!
The evening begins with some jovial Craig bashing as Shep teases him about being a jealous, lying wannabe mediator with no game whatsoever (so I’m paraphrasing). Craig cites quality over quantity when it comes to past hook-ups after Shep jokes that Craig sleeps in the bed with girls without even trying anything. Craig correctly reminds Shep that being respectful is far better than Shep’s nightly kiss-and-tells. Focusing more on the embroidery king, the jabs at Craig’s domesticity abound save for Cameran gushing about the onesie he created. Craig is a hobbyist, and he sits quietly as his friends tease him about going into gardening law. Shep jokes that Craig’s long-winded responses would make him a fortune as an attorney who is paid by the hour.
We’ve arrived! The season finale of Southern Charm was last night, and it didn’t disappoint, but I guess that’s what happens in Bizarro World. The episode begins with the crew continuing their trip in Key West to celebrate Cameran Eubanks‘ birthday. The girls and boys have separated to enjoy a spa day and jet skiing excursion, respectively. Craig Conover hopes to make peace with girlfriend Naomie Olindo, but she’s heading out of town early with Jennifer Snowden, citing his disrespectful behavior at the dinner that seemingly brought archenemies Kathryn Dennis and Landon Clements a wee bit closer. After reconciling his friendship with Shep Rose, Austen Kroll and Chelsea Meissner are working on their undefined relationship by para-sailing.
Last night’s Southern Charm was extra large and super charged. That’s the motto of Key West, right? It’s a mythical place where feuds are mended, insincere apologies abound, marlin shirts are couture, and dolphins swarm the shore line. Go ahead and plan your vacay–it’s a charming place, indeed!
As the episode begins,Mr. Belvedere Michael is washing Patricia Altshcul’s Bentley,Cameran Eubanks is foregoing a breakfast cocktail, and Craig Conover is teaming up with Gizmo to embroider some baby clothes for Cameran’s psychic predicted baby. Shepard Rose surprises Chelsea at her house, and she doesn’t seem nervous to see him, even after her rendition of events at the Commodore Club to Austen Kroll. She tells him not to judge her as she lounges around eating peanut butter right out of the jar. Shep wants to apologize if Chelsea thought he was trying to be inappropriate with her. Truth be told, he may have had a few of the feels for Chelsea, but he retreated before they could explore a potential relationship.