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Stassi Schroeder

Vanderpump Rules - Jax Taylor

Tonight Vanderpump Rules inches ever farther away from the ridiculous show about drunken bartenders that we fell in love with as we celebrate Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright‘s engagement.

Luckily Jax is still just as big of an a-hole as ever! With Brittany’s enormous Kentucky family in town to celebrate mashed potatoes their engagement party, Jax constantly feels on the defense and accidentally insults Brittany’s father and brothers. Even though Jax is convinced he’s changed, he’s still deep in the throes of Number One Guy Complex and his delusions all come crashing through the surface when he’s confronted by Brittany’s father and brothers, who still don’t trust him after he cheated last year. 

Stassi Schroeder

I think we all know the ladies of Vanderpump Rules don’t always take kindly to the introduction of new “friends”. With the exception of Brittany Cartwright. But I think that’s because the ladies feel dating Jax Taylor is punishment enough.

One of the latest newcomers, Billie Lee, has fallen into the crosshairs of former queen bee Stassi Schroeder. (I say former because I feel the ladies have outgrown the hierarchy of their threesome)  And in true Stassi fashion, she is not mincing words.

Vanderpump Rules - TomTom Opens

Lisa Vanderpump is the ultimate businesswoman and multi-tasker. She juggles animal activism, her dog rescue, running multiple restaurants, and filming TV shows with ease. And don’t forget all that spare time she has for scheming and manipulation! 

Her restaurant empire is slowly taking over the streets of West Hollywood. Even though Nene Leakes wanted to get there first. This season of Vanderpump Rules debuted Lisa’s latest restaurant venture, TomTom. And things must be going quite well because she is looking to expand the TomTom brand.

Stassi Schroeder - Vaderpump Rules

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was all about redemption. In a Hollywood kinda way.

Stassi Schroeder is in peril. After years of having bad boyfriends and being able to blame, project and justify her own bad behavior as their fault for having worse behavior, she is now dating the man of her dreams and needs a bad girlfriend detox. Enter Beau Clark: someone who does everything Stassi demands of him, entertains her endlessly, cedes to her tantrums, and accepts that even when Stassi is wearing a mini skirt, she wears the pants. Basically she’s a queen dating the court jester.

But winter is coming and that winter is Stassi’s demand for unwavering sycophancy and the lashing of her evil tongue when Beau doesn’t capitulate. Last time it ended in eczema and tears, but what if someday Beau decides he can no longer take being a battered boyfriend, aka the future subject of a Lifetime Movie?

Jax Taylor & Brittany Cartwright Dish On Their Issues With James Kennedy

They could very easily change the name of Vanderpump Rules to Everybody Hates James. Oh, just kidding, the cast doesn’t want him to get any more attention than he already does. Ironically, the constant James Kennedy bashing just gets him more attention.

After getting disinvited from the cast trip to Mexico, James and his girlfriend Raquel Leviss invited cast members to a puppy pawty. Yes, that’s actually how they spelled it. It was actually a puppy shower, for a dog that’s already been born. Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright rejected Raquel’s invite to her face. And it was so awkward. Poor Raquel. No one wants to film with her go to her party.

Raquel Leviss & James Kennedy - Vanderpump Rules

Tonight Vanderpump Rules returns and even though winter no one is coming, Raquel Leviss goes ahead with hosting a puppy shower for James Kennedys sad puppy dog eyes. Just kidding – it’s actually for their dog, Graham.

God this show is getting so asinine. I mean… the plotline for tonight includes a puppy shower for the C-Team, then Stassi Schroeder getting a bad girlfriend exorcism from a witch who’s less WeHo and more Wiccan. Katie Maloney joins Stassi in this and since Katie doesn’t believe she needs any self-improvement in any way, you know this is some BS nonsense!

Bethenny Frankel Says Kyle Richards & Lisa Rinna Had Nothing To Do With Planting Story About Lisa Vanderpump & Dorit Kemsley Dog Adoption Drama

This puppygate storyline on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has infiltrated many Bravo shows. Well, not the shows themselves, but the cast members have shared their opinions. Vanderpump Rules stars Stassi Schroeder and Lala Kent shared their opinions on who is at fault. Their costar Scheana Marie even said that she has empathy for Kyle Richards following that fight with Lisa Vanderpump at Villa Rosa. Kyle blamed Lisa for leaking the story about Dorit Kemsley’s failed dog adoption. In

Shahs of Sunset star Mercedes “MJ” Javid went public with her stance on the storyline. She is a very avid member of Team Vanderpump. Now, Real Housewives of New York star Bethenny Frankel is sharing her two cents, which is very interesting since she has been friends with Kyle and Lisa Rinna for decades.

Vanderpump Rules’ Tom Schwartz Busted By Katie Maloney Watching TV During Sexy Times

Still with me after that headline? Good, remember we are in this together… Romance is alive and well in LA, y’all. Currently there are no single cast members of Vanderpump Rules. Well, except for Scheana Marie who is presently hitting the sheets with Adam Spott (RUN ADAM, RUN!). But Adam doesn’t want a commitment because he secretly fears Scheana is young and on a television show. That said, Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright are in the midst of planning their mashed potato buffet wedding. Stassi Schroeder is busy teaching Beau Clark the finer points of subtle emotional abuse. Longtime loves Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix are chilling in their expensive new abode. Lala Kent is serving her master sucking on baby bottles to keep those Gucci slide perks from Daddy coming her way. Basically they are all quite busy doing the Lord’s work.

And then we have the epitome of married bliss, Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney. What a perfect example of true unity, am I right? I picture them holding hands, happily skipping through a field of edibles wildflowers, and toasting each other on being the forefront of #relationshipgoals. So what is the secret to their love that shines so bright? I’m not entirely sure we want to know…