If you crammed any more drama, hijinks, meltdowns, and hysterias (and medical issues!) into this episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County I think it would explode a la Kelly Dodd after 2 cocktails and exposure to a snarky meme. Things would just come flying out, every which way, and the only thing that would be left standing amid the rubble would be Tamra Judge and the two giant inflatable jugs she has strapped to her chest as a bullet-proof vest/getaway life raft.
I literally can’t even begin to dissect all the switching animosities and loyalties, but all I have to say is Tamra is masterful at manipulating these women in a tizzy of stupidity. And Kyle Richards thinks Lisa Vanderpump plays chess…
After receiving the Demotion Heard Around The World, Vicki Gunvalson might be back. The poor thing was humiliated and did not take her downgrade on Real Housewives of Orange County very well. We all know Vicki’s former popularity dropped after she chose a man who lied about cancer over everything else in her life. We also know Vicki has a clinical condition known as Cannotshutthefuckupitis. Apparently, treatments for this disease are still in the research phase.
But it’s more than that because fans have a long term relationship with Vicki’s lack of accountability. This is someone who attempts to provide wise words on everything from relationships to financial security, yet fails in every relationship and gives generously to scam artists. Vicki never wanted to lose her slot and even after
buying her own ring coercing Steve Lodge into proposing, she was kicked off the main credits of RHOC. But beggars can’t be choosers and Vick definitely falls into the begging category. Begging for casseroles. Begging for apologies. Begging for her job back. Recently, Vicki pulled a stunt queen move when she tried to sue Bravo and co-star Kelly Dodd for defamation. In the blink of an eye, that lawsuit went away. Now we’re finding out those legal papers might have been replaced by a renewed full-time contract.
You guys I’m sorry – I am having Thanksgiving fever and 15 houseguests, and I just cannot get it together with the Real Housewives Of Orange County nonsense today.
Tamra Judge and Kelly Dodd are like your mother and your mother-in-law at the same holiday dinner. They’re not gonna speak or look at each other. But, they are going to viciously jab from all corners until it all comes bubbling to the surface over the way to make gravy or something.
Braunwyn Windham-Burke invited all the women to Miami so they can understand her better. Apparently, we’re now defining our personalities by cities, so Braunwyn is a Miami person. In Miami, she liked having sex with her husband, clubbed constantly, and wore skanky clothes to the grocery store. Whereas in Orange County, Braunwyn has to hide her wild side? I don’t get it… How was Braunwyn doing all this partying in between 52 pregnancies, nursing 19 babies, and also well, ostensibly, parenting? We don’t ever get a clear answer about why they left Miami, just like we don’t get a clear answer about why this is the sad-sack trip RHOC got this season. I blame Tamra because I blame her for everything.
Well, if there’s one thing a Housewives show doesn’t need more celebration of it’s boobs, although I think Real Housewives Of Orange County gave us the first itineration of celebrating boobs that weren’t just used for sex appeal… that is until Braunwyn Windham-Burke whipped hers out at her No More Nursing fiesta.
The theme of this party made absolutely no sense. It was a boobs bacchanalia with strippers, a nipple cake, and dildos on the wall, but Brauwnyn called it a “weaning party” meant to celebrate the end of nursing after 18 years.
Braunwyn’s entire life is reliving the youth she never got to experience, which is ironic only in that Dr. Deb‘s desperation to capture a thwarted youth is the sole reason why Braunwyn resents and hates her mother. So maybe Braunwyn will go on to have an illustrious career as a plastic surgeon specializing in mommy makeover boob jobs? I just can’t with this exhausting woman and her constant need to show off as the hot, fun mom. Enough already!
Vicki Gunvalson & Kelly Dodd are probably never going to be friends again. There is too much bad blood between them. From cocaine accusations to pig insults, their friendship is nonexistent. Despite their fallout, both remain central figures on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Vicki might not be a full-time cast member anymore, but she’s very much a part of the show.
In addition to being Housewives, the two women have another thing in common. Both have wedding bells in their future! Vicki has been engaged to Steve Lodge for a while. However, Kelly’s engagement is a little more recent. PLEASE HAVE THE WEDDING ON THE SAME DAY. Considering how much these women loathe one another, surely Vicki had something to say about it. OH YES. She definitely did.
Don’t threaten us with a good time, Vicki Gunvalson! The demoted Real Housewives of Orange County veteran has made a startling
empty threat announcement. Vicki has always made it clear she is delusional runs the show as the OG, but now in her 900th season, we are only seeing her on a “part-time” basis. While some fans feel it’s still too much, it was surprising when Vicki was kicked out of the VIP area. After an alleged strong suggestion from above, Vicki came through with a forced an engagement to Steve Chavez Lodge to offer some type of viewer interest. Apparently, it wasn’t enough.
Despite the humiliation of seeing her
cancer scamming star lose a bit of it’s shine, Vicki has maintained a positive outlook. She also made sure to let everyone with access to cable television know she is 100% available to come back to full-time status. Vicki subtly threatened said she wasn’t going anywhere until Bravo asked her to take a hike. I suppose the casting downgrade wasn’t a big enough hint. Now that Vicki has spent a season in demotionville, she has new thoughts. It looks like she might have gotten the hint after all.
Real Housewives Of Orange County is all about mommy issues this season, isn’t it? From the women having them with their own mothers (Kelly Dodd and Braunwyn Windham-Burke) to having them with their own children (Tamra Judge and Shannon Beador), to being questionable mothers themselves (almost everyone).
Last night Shannon and Braunwyn tried to navigate sending children to college, Tamra sent Ryan Vieth to counseling, and all that was like blah, blah, blah… yada, yada, yada because the truly horrific, scarring, awfulness was the true exposure of just what a terrible person Tamra is. So much so that I actually feel bad for Racist Ryan.
Tamra has just returned from this truly life-altering and earth-shattering vacation in Scottsdale, AZ where she learned a pivotal message about being the leader of the mean girls: you can never turn your back – not even for a day. Not even for a hike with your husband. In Tamra’s absence, she’s gotten a slew of angry text messages from Kelly, and Shannon is basically giving her the silent treatment.