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Survivor Recap


On last night’s Survivor, the cavemen Savaii trifecta find themselves on Redemption Island, Coach continues to preach (literally) about the importance of unity and loyalty (in a game that can have only one winner) and the former Upolu continues to drink the Kool-Aid while the Savaii are picked off one by one.

Marijuana Jim joins Keith and Ozzy on Redemption and Ozzy refrains from telling him “I told you so” after hearing about the Upolu’s latest bakery fix while the three remaining Savaii tried to save themselves. Back at camp, Coach reminds his congregation that they are a family who has just voted out the most dangerous outcast. Really? MJ is dangerous? Crass, sure. Immature, definitely. But dangerous? Please. In his interview Coach stresses how important it is to make everyone feel comfortable so they won’t be ready for an upset. I wonder if that’s what Jesus did…NOT.

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On last night’s episode of Survivor, the two tribes try to live as one, while Cochran faces backlash for turning on one of his own. The Upolu gets a sweet treat and the Savaii continues to be picked off one-by-one.

Back at camp, Ozzy approaches Cochran about his “strategy.” Ozzy wants to understand his decision, and of course, Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants, or should I say Cochran’s new body guard, comes by to make sure his new friend isn’t being intimidated by big, bad Ozzy. Cochran assures BHCP that all is fine and Marijuana Jim pops by to tell his former ally that he’s a poor excuse for a man and he doesn’t ever want to talk to Cochran again. Mature. Cochran stresses his decision to vote off Keith wasn’t personal — it’s just about self — preservation. Ozzy reminds him that he went to Redemption Island FOR Cochran. Whitney also asks Cochran to remember the three different times she and Keith saved him from being on the chopping block.

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Last night’s Survivor was a show of solidarity…for a hot minute. The merge occurs between the two tribes just as predicted. Savaii’s plan works in that Ozzy beats off the unbeatable Christine, but that is about as far as it goes…his overacting doesn’t fool the Upolu for a split second, and Savaii’s double agent may be way too good at his job.

After the dumbest riskiest move in the history of the show, the folks at Savaii aren’t too keen on their recent decision. Cochran tries to say that he would have been willing to go to Redemption Island had Ozzy not stepped in with his grand plan. Keith pointedly says that he himself could never let someone else fight his battles. Someone asks Cochran if he’s comfortable being a double agent. He reveals in his interview that he can certainly pretend to like the Upolu as he’s been pretending to like his tribe since they arrived. Is someone a sore sport because his fellow castaways are missing Ozzy?

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Last night’s Survivor was full of twists. Brandon Hantz didn’t exude the crazy, and Ozzy is part of the most dramatic rose ceremony ever…oh, sorry…wrong show. Seriously, Savaii uses a risky strategy at the leadership of Ozzy, and Upolu is finding a togetherness and trust that has been lacking among the tribe.

After tribal council, all of Upolu is discussing what a loose cannon Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants has been since their raft hit the shore episode one is becoming. Edna is thinking that she shouldn’t worry about sitting out of all the challenges if BHCP keeps acting like he’s one sandwich short of a picnic.

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Last night’s Survivor had it all…lost love (what will Ozzy do without Elyse?), drama (Mikayla or Edna?), pious musings (Coach and Brandon…take your pick), backstabbing (um, Albert?), a touching after-school special moment (Dawn and Cochran are finally invited to the party!), and of course, a rousing final speech (courtesy of Crazy Pants). It was epic. Oh, and there was a shuffleboard challenge.

Back at the beach, Ozzy is flabbergasted by his fellow Team Pretty members for voting against the alliance. He declares himself a free agent, and both Keith and Whitney think he’s being just a tad dramatic for taking Elyse’s elimination so personally. Dawn calls him out for not playing as honestly as he wants his teammates to play, and Ozzy is prompted to admit that he has found the immunity idol. To each his own is Ozzy’s new way of life with Savaii. The following the say, his tribe mates think he’ll come around, but the following day he’s still pouting. The Savaii tribe is in agreement that he’s being an annoying cry baby, and Dawn and Cochran are finally part of the in-crowd.

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Last night’s Survivor gave us a peek into a changing, slightly crazier Coach, who we are sure to see more of in upcoming episodes. The duel pitted friend against friend, and the immunity challenge was just a whole lot of gross, gagging nastiness.

Stacey joins her biffle Christine on Redemption Island. Stacey relays to Christine all the lying and drama that has been going on with the Upolu. She tells Christine that Coach is the ring-leader (and the pot stirrer), and that all the people in the blue tribe are heading to hell wearing gasoline drawers. If Stacey ever gets tired of being a mortician, she can take her one-liners on the road.

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Last night’s Survivor was very cut-throat. As usual, Brandon does a lot of repenting, Dawn does a little ass kicking to win immunity for her tribe, and Cochran and Marijuana Jim devise a plan to disrupt Team Pretty. I am loving Savaii this season. Is it just me, or is the Upolu just a bunch of Shady McShadersons?

The episode begins with Ozzy and Elyse getting cozy on a hammock. Marijuana Jim is getting jealous nervous that their bond may be tighter than his is with Ozzy. He’s worried Ozzy is morphing into Rob Mariano. MJ quickly realizes that Elyse has to go before they become a power couple. Has someone been smoking dope watching Bachelor Pad? Marijuana Jim finds a quick ally in Cochran, as it buys him more time to prove himself.

Over at Upolu, Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants is apologizing to Mikayla for gravitating towards untruth. He next approaches Edna to repent for his lying and to casually mention that Edna is not a member of the main alliance like she thought she was. I couldn’t tell if it was a strategic move on Brandon’s part or inadvertent slip-up. You never can tell with that sneaky BHCP.

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Last night’s Survivor: South Pacific began with Christine joining Semhar on Redemption Island. She’s down, but not out, and both women are confident about their potential second chance after the duel.

At Upolu, Mikayla tells Coach she was blindsided by Brandon, and guess who just happens to interrupt their conversation? Why it’s mini-Russell Hantz himself! I assume that he is going to apologize to Mikayla for his lies, but instead he opts for a side hug from Coach. Brandon never planned to come on the show and play the game like his uncle. He wanted to be a hero not a villain. Oops!

The Upolu tribe receives two invitations to attend the duel. Coach requests to go, and Stacey wants to join him. Ozzy and Elyse are the witnesses from tribe Savaii. During her week on Redemption Island, Semhar has found time to braid her hair. I almost didn’t recognize her. Right away, Christine tells Jeff Probst she was voted off the main island because of Coach’s disdain for her (true) after she called him a temporary player.

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