The Real housewives of New Jersey Recap

Real Housewives of New Jersey Finale Recap: Will The Real Clown Please Stand Up?

by Reality Teaon August 24th, 2010

It is over! The very long second season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey finally came to an end last night.

The finale episode brilliantly titled ‘The Heads of the Family Will Roll‘ brought us the same thing we have seen all season. The others vs Danielle Staub. The others claiming they are tired of talking about Danielle, only to gather together and talk about her. The others claiming they want nothing to do with Danielle, only to arrange a sit down with her.

And judging from the previews of the reunion show, we have more others vs Danielle coming our way! Yaay us! Because seeing any of the others decide to disagree with each other, or argue with each other is simply too much to ask for. Though it would be nice to see Caroline call out Teresa on her irresponsible spending habits and $11 mil debt, however, these are moments we can only dream of.

Well folks, last night was no different in this long drawn out season. After stating all season that she wanted nothing to do with Danielle, Caroline decides to call a face to face meeting with Dirty D, bringing us the highlight of the finale.

The episode starts out with the Giudices cooking on their soon to be auctioned off fancy gas range which I might or might not be seriously considering bidding on. They are having a dinner party for all the families sans Danielle of course. A few minutes into dinner, Danielle is brought up as they discuss the charges against Ashley. The Manzos and Lauritas seem upset that Danielle is refusing to drop the charges against Ashley. And I have to ask myself, why should she?

Caroline mentions she wants Danielle to go away, and I once again ask myself – wasn’t Dina the one who asked to meet up with Danielle? Wasn’t Danielle minding her business when Teresa decided to confront her at the country club? Wasn’t Danielle walking away when Ashley pulled out her extensions?

Is Danielle a drama queen nutjob trouble maker? Absolutely! But the others keep contradicting themselves in their actions towards her.

We see Danielle at home as she receives a text from Caroline to meet up. Danielle immediately wants to know how the f*ck Caroline got her number, you know considering she went through all the trouble of getting a new number and going into the witness protection program to get away from her big bad scary co-stars. Danielle, who could have easily said no to the meeting, agrees to meet up with Caroline.

We get yet another scene with the good cop/bad cop Jacqueline and Chris as they attempt to talk some sense into Ashley, and this talk pretty much goes the same way all the others have this season, so moving right along.

Honorable sixth housewife Danny pays Danielle a visit, during which Danielle informs him of her plans to meet up with Caroline. In her interview, Danielle informs us Caroline formed an opinion on her without ever having a conversation with her. Based on this logic, we must all immediately delete the horrific sex tape images from our brains, and wait until our individual sit-downs with Danielle, before we can refer to her as a trashy skank.

Danielle then gives us a great quote, ” Caroline, you are not Carmelo. You are not a Soprano. So stop sending out your little brilliant ones to make it look like you’re not doing anything while you’re sitting there on your proverbial throne judging. Get a life.” I’m guessing ‘proverbial’ must have been Danielle’s word of the month on her spelling calendar or something. And no, Danielle is not referring to NBA player Carmelo Anthony, she means Carmela from the Sopranos of course.

We see Caroline as she prepares to meet with Danielle, during which her daughter Lauren makes perfect sense when she asks her mommy why she wants to meet up with the crazy lady. On the other side of town, Danielle is also getting ready, but this time around, she doesn’t involve her kids, instead calling up her “Energist” as they proceed to do some odd breathing exercises.

Energist – “There you go, did you feel that?”

Danielle – “Oh yeah, I always feel it when you start on me.”

Too easy, so I will move along. The ladies drive to meet with one another and Danielle lets us know she has no reason to stress because “there’s guys here with guns.” As Danielle enters the the private room to meet with an already seated Caroline, Bravo decides to tease us a little bit longer by cutting away from the scene. What the hay! I had to sit through 9 non-eventful episodes this season to get to the dramatic Country club episode, so what’s a few more minutes of waiting.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Special Kind of Crazy

by Reality Teaon August 17th, 2010

The Hills are alive with the Giudice indeed. Airing last night was Episode 15 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, which might or might not have been one of the more boring episodes this season.

What did we learn last night? Well for one, ‘Ethninticity’ is a word according to Danielle Staub, Caroline Manzo finds it cute and adorable when Joe Giudice decides to throw a temper tantrum and go on a cursing rampage around kids, and Jacqueline Laurita really really cares about “old people.”

The episode starts out with the families as they get ready to dock in Naples. We immediately see a very cranky Joe and Teresa tries to convince us the source of this is that Joe doesn’t like being away from his business for a week. They all get on the bus, and Caroline tells us she’s annoyed by the Giudice children. Teresa however makes it clear she is not responsible for Caroline’s funky mood.

Danielle and her eyebrows attempt a heart to heart with her daughters, as she wants to discuss her birth mother. But before getting to the main topic, Danielle takes us down a trip on victims’ memory lane, rehashing Kim G’s betrayal and Teresa’s big mouth. And at the end of this convo, I’m still uncertain what the point of Danielle’s sit down with her daughters was. This just seems like an opportunity for Danielle to share her woe-is-me-Kim G-betrayed-me sob story. We do find out Danielle’s mother had her at age 15, but something tells me her daughters already knew that.

The families go out to dinner and we see the men eating “like they were going to jail.” Joe mentions they might have to hike it when visiting his family the next day. Jacqueline is immediately concerned as she realizes babies and old people do not know how to hike. Teresa however assures us in her interview that all will be well as Italy also has babies and old people, who hike everyday.

Danielle‘s favorite ex-con Danny decides to pay her a visit and informs her the others are gone to Italy. Danielle, who has had to suffer the last couple of weeks/months without a panini, is happy as she can now drive over to the market in Franklin Lakes without having to fear for her life. Danny randomly and oddly brings up Ashley, stating he has met some of her friends who have offered to help him. Help with what exactly? We’re not told. Danielle immediately goes on an Ashley bashing rampage. “She doesn’t have friends, she’s got terroristic tendencies,” said former prostitution whore/kidnapper Danielle.

Danny decides he needs to keep tabs on the then teenage Ashley, and Danielle encourages this because Ashley’s “got a special kind of crazy,” says the nutty pot.

We are now back in Italy and as the families get ready to leave for Joe’s hometown, the cursing resumes as the cranky and bankrupt Joe complains about the prices of things. Perhaps someone should inform Joe luxurious trips to Italy don’t come cheap. But then again Joe isn’t quite used to taking responsibility for his debts.

And at this point, I wonder just how much Bravo is shelling out for this fancy trip. As I said earlier, Bravo typically foots the bill for the ladies from the Housewives franchise to take a trip each season. My guess is Bravo was not willing to cover the expenses for the kids, grand parents and other family members involved in this trip, which would explain Joe’s outbursts. Which would then also mean the bankrupt and suppose to be broke Giudices continued to live beyond their means by bringing their whole family to Italy. What I wouldn’t do to know the amount of debt the Giudices have racked up since filing for bankruptcy back in October.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Visit To Italy

by Reality Teaon August 10th, 2010

We are on episode 14 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. The bad news? It was a pretty non eventful episode that only featured the highly entertaining nuttyness known as Danielle Staub for a few minutes. The good news? there’s only two more episodes left. Just two more episodes and the second season will be finally over. That is until the reunion comes around of course.

A while back, our genius reader gigi1234 had a highlarious view on what the reunion should would be like –

Dirty D [Danielle] – “Kim who, Teresa who, Manzo who?”

Dina – “I’m in such a spiritual place now I simply choose to not comment” sitting w/cat oil stains on her Dolce dress.

Jacqueline – “Yea I know Ashley has no life, no interest & is disrespectful BUT”

Chewbaca [Teresa] – “I can’t comment on the foreclures since it really only has to do w/my husbands business. You know Joe is an entremanure & aint he hot”

Caroline – will be on couch not saying a word nursing Albie”

Let’s all hope the NJ ladies can give us a great reunion show a la the Real Housewives of NYC, but please Bravo let’s not make it 3 hours. I simply don’t think I want to sit through 3 hours of everyone against Danielle.

Guess it’s time to get into last night’s episode. It starts off the Jacqueline and her hubby Chris deciding to pay the Giudices a visit at their luxurious mansion. Jacqueline mentions Joe received a DUI and is puzzled because “Joe was not drinking and was not drunk,” during their night out. Really Jacqueline? Not even one drink by Joe? Not sure I’m buying this.

Danielle and her feathered head ex-con buddy Danny are shown eating out and of course, the topic of Joe’s DUI is brought up. Before Danielle can fully dissect the issue, we are forced to listen to Joe’s lies explanation of his version of events. “I was tired, it wasn’t from drinking at all,” claims Joe.

It’s now back to Danielle and the former prostitution whore actually makes good sense when she wonders out-loud why Joe simply couldn’t call a cab, being that he could afford to. Wondering if he could actually afford to, you know following the bankruptcy and over-spending wife. Joe then tries to explain away his .11 alcohol level, saying he started downing shots once at his friend’s house, following the accident. According to the DailyRecord.com, this is a defense is known as a ”glove box defense,” or claim of drinking after an accident so a blood test reading would be invalid.

Unfortunately for Joe, the cops didn’t buy his glove box defense, with the cops stating that the witness Joe called to support his claim of drinking only after the crash ”completely lacked credibility” and ”was out and out lying.” Ouch.

It’s now back to Danielle, who believes Joe’s DUI is a result of karma. “I’m just going to continue living in the love and light that they make fun of, while their darkness rains upon them, says Danielle, who’s sex tape would be ultimately released just months after uttering these words.

And for the fans of the show who say Bravo shouldn’t have Danielle and her supporting cast on the show, well you know what they say – be careful what you wish for, as the next 55 minutes of the show will be Danielle free.

Teresa, Caroline and Jacqueline meet up and Teresa makes an interesting comment. “Since the accident, it has been a stressful time for us, cause it’s a small town, everybody talks,” states Teresa, who’s bankruptcy filing would be unveiled just months after uttering these words. If their small town was abuzz about Joe’s DUI, one can only imagine all the yapping that took place regarding their $11 mil debt.

And then randomly out of the blue, the three ladies decide that Joe’s arrest is too stressful for them to handle or something, as the talk of taking a trip to Italy is randomly brought up. This whole scene seems very staged, as Bravo PAYS for these trips taken by the housewives, including the infamous St. John trip for the NYC Housewives, and the Florida trip taken by the OC Housewives. The Atlanta housewives also took a trip for their upcoming third season. So basically, this scene is phony and the trip idea was Bravo’s.

Caroline heads over to the Brownstone to inform her bobby about the trip, and maybe it’s just me, but Al seems more and more disinterested in Caroline as the days go by. And in what seems like perfect foreshadowing, Al states he doesn’t want a trip with Teresa’s kids 18 kids running around. Jacqueline wants to bring her parents to be babysitters, while Teresa feels it would be a good idea to bring her parents “you know since that’s where they were born.” All the husbands are on board, and Italy is about to get some NJ trash coming their way! And by NJ trash, I mean the Jersey Shore cast Teresa Giudice.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Kim G vs Danielle

by Reality Teaon August 3rd, 2010

Last night brought us the 13th episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, featuring the big showdown between Danielle Staub and former BFF Kim Granatell.

After watching the drama that took place between these two, I only have three questions. Who is nuttier between the two? Who is the bigger drama queen? And did Danielle finally meet her match in Kim G?

The episode begins with the morally and financially bankrupt Giudices, who have now come up with another creative way to continue living beyond their means, even after filing bankruptcy. Joe and Teresa visit the Brownstone to plan out yet another party. This time around, it’s for baby Audriana‘s christening and Teresa declares she wants ice sculptures. Teresa then reveals that the cause of Dina not being around anymore is Danielle. Evidently their close friendship only extended to being in front of Bravo cameras.

Next up we see Danielle pull up to a hospital, and we soon find out this TMI hospital visit is for her 16-year-old daughter’s first visit to see a OB-GYN, and I find myself asking if it was really necessary for Danielle to bring the cameras around for something so private. I mean it’s bad enough Christine has Danielle for a mother, is it really necessary to have her OB-GYN appointments filmed? Are we about to see poor Christine’s pap smear? Are the other home viewers as uncomfortable for Christine as I am at this point? Thankfully, we find out this appointment was more of a talking one. Danielle decides she isn’t done embarrassing her daughter on national television and proceeds to ask her if she’s having sex or “being a good girl” rather. An embarrassed Christine refuses to answer, and we get a HPV after school special. In this scene we also find out born again virgin Danielle does not date, not surprising considering she’s too busy making sex tapes with randoms.

Christopher Manzo is playing some pool with best friend John G. who just happens to be Kim G’s son. Kim G. decides to randomly show up with some popcorn for the adult men, and immediately gives us this awkward scene when she tries to get Christoper to arrange a playdate between she and Caroline. “Umm… Why don’t we go with you,” is what Chris is able to muster up. Kim G. is game and ready to do whatever it takes to become a regular on the show Caroline Manzo’s new BFF!

It’s the day of the wedding quinceanera christening and we see Teresa getting her girls ready. “Mom, where’s my purse? Can I wear my silver Juicy Couture one?” asks diva in training Gia. Teresa shares that Joe’s a little grumpy this morning due to working long hours in the pizzeria, oops his father’s pizzeria that is of course. Me thinks Joe’s a little grumpy cause he had just gone bankrupt trying to make his wife happy, but that’s just me.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: What Bankruptcy?

by Reality Teaon July 27th, 2010

We are now onto the 12th episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, and while it wasn’t as good as next week’s episode will be, it was still very interesting to say the least.

There are two angles one can go with in doing this recap. One is we finally get to meet Tom Staub, the man behind the legend, you know the man who decided Danielle Staub was fit to be his wife and the mother of his children. The other angle is Teresa Giudice of course, who was one of the most searched people on the internet yesterday thanks to the news of the impending public auction of her home items, and her thirst for diamonds, you know considering this episode was taped just a few weeks after she signed off on the bankruptcy documents. Oh what the hey, I say let’s go with both angles!

The episode starts off with some precious family time with the Giudices as they do monopoly night. When Joe wasn’t busy threatening to kick one of his daughters, Teresa decides to bring up their upcoming 10th anniversary. Teresa can’t believe she and Joe have been married for 10 years because “it feels like 5.” Teresa asks the kids for anniversary gift ideas and one of their daughters suggests chocolate and flowers, but bankrupt Teresa makes it clear that’s not good enough. Joe has an even better suggestion, when he jokingly suggests the $100 luxury tax ring, before retracting it, joking saying that he couldn’t even afford that. Must say the financial jokes by Joe are very telling. Notice how they seemed to start just a few episodes ago? Teresa however makes it clear there will be no hanky panky for one month if Joe doesn’t come through, and I can’t help but wonder if Teresa can even go a week with no hanky panky from Jiucy Joe.

Danielle decides to meet up with her friend/party planner to plan a party for herself her daughter Christine‘s sweet 16. Danielle then lets us know she plans to make this a memorable party for herself Christine because she never had a birthday party “thrown to” her until she was 47-years-old. Really Danielle? Not even a party at 1? 10? 16? 18? 21? 30? 40? 45? Well since Danielle is not known to ever lie or exaggerate, I will go ahead and take her word for this.

Christine reveals her idea to donate all proceeds from her party to a charity and Dirty D decides this is a perfect moment to take credit for Christine’s idea because that’s her daughter and she gave birth to her. And I take a moment to ponder how Danielle’s daughters seem to have turned out amazing and well grounded in spite of their mother. Danielle asks Christine if she wants to invite her father and Christine answers yes. Danielle then lets us know that Tom hasn’t been the best father in the world to his daughters, and I can’t help but wonder if Danielle is being truthful about this, or just trying to paint her ex in a bad light out of vengeance, not that this is Danielle’s MO or anything.

Jacqueline and Caroline meet up and yet again Caroline is making perfect sense when she advises Jacqueline to distance herself from the three-faced Kim G. and focus on her daughter.

The Giudices and the Lauritas have a get together during which Joe, who looks rather stressed, ponders what to get his wife for their upcoming 10th anniversary. Joe mentions the 10-year gift has to be a “big one,” bankruptcy be damned. Teresa, who just signed off on bankruptcy papers to the debt of $11 mil a few weeks earlier, is then shown having a conversation with Jacqueline. “I love diamonds, diamonds and diamonds and diamonds,” says the bankrupt Teresa when asked what she wants for her anniversary by Jacqueline. And how genius are the show’s editors for choosing the oh so perfect background music for this ridiculous scene.

And it’s now that time of the show, when we get to see the hotness known as Albie Manzo. This time around, Albie is sporting a buzz cut, which might or might not be slightly taking away from his hotness, and we find out Albie has joined the police academy while waiting to get into a new law school. Must say it’s nice to see a Manzo with ambitions that go beyond the Brownstone.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: The New Housewife…

by Reality Teaon July 20th, 2010

Apologies in advance for the poor embarrassing tragic photoshopping skills. With that being said, let’s get right to the recap of episode 11 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, brilliantly titled – Staub Wounds.

The episode starts out with a scene of Teresa and hubby Juicy Joe, as they get the girls ready so Joe can take them out. For a minute there, I was touched at the thought of Joe being a good father to his little girls, well that is, until Teresa casually mentions that Joe threats their daughters like boys, you know because he hasn’t been able to get the son(s) he wants after 4 tries…

Things then take a disturbing turn when Joe makes his very young daugthers fight each other after their karate lesson. I just found this scene to be all kinds of wrong and disturbing. Nothing wrong with putting his daugthers in karate/taekwondo, but the making them fight each other was just wrong and icky to watch.

We move on to victim Danielle, who has decided the best way to protect her weave self is to take self defense classes, at the suggestion of her ex-con rumored bed buddy Danny, who spends the entire time standing back in ring glaring at Dirty D. Danielle of course is involving her two daugthers in her quest to be the ultimate fighter. Danny suggests Danielle picture Teresa and Jacqueline in front of her as a means to add more fuel to her fighting fire. The Bravo cameras then pan to Danielle’s daugther Christine, who looks pretty embarrassed and would probably rather be back home doing homework at this moment.

Danielle gives us her best dose of crazy during her 1 on 1 interview when she declares, “Walking away is not good enough for them. They want to make you feel like the prey. And then they sit there and they go, I don’t know why you keep you saying you’re the victim. Well Bitch cause I am. Stop effing chasing me!”

The former prostitution coke whore then declares, “It only takes one good smack to the head to make a person never walk again.”

We see Jacqueline at home, and Kim Granatell, who is arguably the most two faced person in the universe, decides to pay a visit. I’m just going to refer to Kim G. as the newest housewife from here on out. I don’t even think she’s auditioning anymore for a slot on the show, she has obviously replaced Dina. No need to wait for a press release from Bravo. So why exactly did Kim G. show up to Jacque’s? Well to stir up the drama pot of course! The two rehash the country club drama and Kim G. informs us clumps did indeed come out of Danielle’s head.

Next up, we see Mama Bear Caroline making individualized eggs for all three of her very adult children. Two of the kids leave to go to work and Caroline and Albie McHottie Manzo discuss his future. Albie informs his mom that he needs to get a recommendation letter from his old law school before he can get into a new school.

Teresa, who filed bankruptcy just a few weeks before this episode was filmed, is shown going into Kim DePaola’s boutique Posche to do some shopping, but then again Teresa is never really shown shopping, but rather talking during her time there. Teresa once again assures the world her house is absolutely not in foreclosure. Stalker Wannabe new housewife Kim G. then randomly shows up, wearing a very age inappropriate sleeveless fur attire. Teresa once again states that she meant well in trying to strike up a conversation with Danielle, despite admitting on last week’s episode of Watch What Happens that her intention was to confront Danielle on some of the rumors she was spreading about her.

Teresa then makes a funny, the funniest quote of the night actually, when she states, “The only thing I regret about that night was pushing Kim G. because she is an older woman and I do respect the elderly.” Hilarious, especially considering that it came from the very unintelligent Teresa. And how old is Kim G. by the way? She can’t be a day younger than 70 60, no?

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: And the Oscar of the Decade Goes to…

by Reality Teaon July 13th, 2010

“Do not let her win this time. You win by doing nothing.” – Caroline Manzo (Episode 9)

“She got exactly what she wanted. She wanted everybody to say, ‘See, mean girls. You see the mean girls? You see what I have to deal with?’ And you gave it her.” – Caroline Manzo (Episode 10)

The fight club scene of the Real Housewives of New Jersey aired last night and it definitely lived up to the hype. Perhaps this episode was a gift from Bravo, you know, for putting us through one of the most boring seasons ever of a housewives franchise.

I started watching the episode just ready to feel sorry for Danielle. I mean I just knew I would end up feeling sorry for Danielle, who after all was going to be attacked, oops I mean assaulted, by Ashley Holmes, but within the first 10 minutes of watching the show, I quickly realized that would not be the case. The reason? Well you’re just going to have to read the recap 🙂

So the episode begins where Bravo left off 2 weeks ago, with the Danielle and Teresa conversation turned confrontation. I tried to give Teresa the benefit of the doubt two weeks ago, thinking she perhaps meant well in trying to talk to Danielle. But after watching the events that unfolded, it’s pretty clear Teresa’s intentions were to stir things up. Even Teresa herself admitted on WWH last night that Danielle had been going around town spreading rumors about her, and she intended to confront Danielle about those rumors.

The confrontation continues and evidently in New Jersey, Paterson to be exact, “Don’t call me honey,” are fighting words. Watching this scene made me see Teresa is a whole new different light. I always knew she wasn’t the brightest bulb of the bunch, but her behavior made her appear extremely immature and downright moronic. The excessive head twisting and “Don’t forget girlfriend, I’m from Paterson,” comment was beyond ridic! Is this woman serious? Surely she jests.

Things take a turn for the worse when Danielle uses the F word. In case you’re wondering, the F word stands for Foreclosure, at least when it comes to the housewives of Bravo. Danielle, perhaps referring to the foreclosure story that came out about the Giudices last year, tells Teresa her home is in foreclosure, and boy o boy, did she unleash the kraken! The truth foreclosure comment hit a major nerve with Teresa, and Danielle decides to start running for some odd reason. Really, why is Danielle running? Teresa, being the Paterson badass that she is decides to chase after Danielle.

Back to the foreclosure story. Danielle was actually correct, well sorta. A story came out last October stating Teresa and Joe’s home was in foreclosure. It however turned out the foreclosure was for a property they owned and not for their mansion. What’s even more interesting? Well according to police documents, this “fight scene” actually took place on November 11th. Just 2 weeks after Teresa and Joe filed for bankruptcy on October 29th. This might explain why Teresa went nuts with the comment. You know what they say, the truth hurts. This also makes me think the whole housewarming party took place sometime after the bankruptcy filing, yet before the Kim D fashion show, which if true, is quite unbelievable.

Now back to the show. I was certain I was going to feel sorry for Danielle because Teresa was the aggressor and instigator this go around. However, her over the top acting, antics, and just all around hysterics were extremely ridiculous. I mean seriously Danielle? When you think about it, there wasn’t a change in Danielle’s behavior and reaction before and after being attacked by Ashley. Teresa decides to pick an argument and that means she needed to take off running? I ask again, why was she running? She even had a bodyguard with her. Teresa and Jacqueline never touched her, so why the hysterics?

Well I’ll tell you why. Danielle is a perpetual victim who relishes in playing the victim role. Some people aim to be survivors while others accept the victim role, and get very comfortable in it. Danielle is the later. And speaking of roles, did you know Danielle has an acting background? Yes, years before embarking on a porn career, Danielle was an actress and even had a tiny role on the ABC soap – All My Children. Caroline said it best when she later told Teresa and Jacqueline, “She got exactly what she wanted. She wanted everybody to say, ‘See, mean girls. You see the mean girls? You see what I have to deal with?’ And you gave it her.”

The best part of the show comes in the form of the random blonde lady for yelling out, “This is such f*cking bullsh*t,” right into the cameras. Someone please get this woman a reality show asap!

Danielle is now outside and hysterically crying because having a co-star and former friend yell at you during an argument calls for hysterical crying. The third best part of the show comes when Kim G. tries to calm Danielle by yelling at her, “Calm down!” All that was missing from this scene was a calming slap across the face ala Airplane.

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Real Housewives of New Jersey

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Paris Hilton Taught Me That…

by Reality Teaon June 29th, 2010

More drama this week on the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The episode starts off with Caroline Manzo auditioning two of her sisters to be Dina’s replacement. No, just kidding! But oddly enough, the two sisters look more like Dina than Caroline. Albie’s law school dilemma is brought up and Caroline shares she is at a crossroads in her life, as her kids are now getting older and getting ready to move out of the house. It seems Caroline, who has devoted her entire life to her kids and family, is now starting to realize it’s time to start stepping back on the mama bear role.

Teresa and Jacqueline meet up for lunch with Kim D. who does her best Kelly Bensimon impression when she utters a “Hiiiiii” as she walks in late. And did you know Kim D. and Kim G. are sister in laws? Yep I just found that out today. Definitely puts things into perspective. Teresa brings up a good point when she asks Kim D. if she can be trusted since she talks about Danielle behind her back, only to turn around and hang out with her. Kim D. invites the ladies to her fashion show and informs them Danielle will be in attendance. Jacqueline is hesitant to be in the same room with Dirty D (excellent nickname given to Danielle via our awesome commenters), while Teresa seems on-board.

Next up is New Jersey’s equivalent of Kelly Bensimon, except Danielle, even at her worst, still seems very sane in comparison to Kelly. Danielle shares she’s received text messages from 16 ex-cons people informing her that Kim D. has invited her enemies to the fashion show. Dirty D then storms into the Posche boutique and demands to see Kim D. Danielle immediately decides the front desk lady, Donna, isn’t bowing down to her, thus causing her to storm out of the store. Danielle proceeds to once again involve her young daughter in her adult issues via a phone call. Danielle then decides to head back into the store and commands Donna to have Kim D. give her a call. Donna has the best reply as Danielle storms out again: “Didn’t catch your name.” The only thing missing from this scene was Danielle screaming out a ‘Don’t you know who I am!’

Kim D. returns to the store and calls Danielle, who accuses Donna of being rude to her and putting up her finger at her. I went back to watch the footage and at no point did I see Donna raise a finger at Danielle. Dirty D then proceeds to return to the store to stir up some more drama. When Kim D. doesn’t bow down to her, she threatens to stop shopping at Kim D’s store because it would “ruin” their friendship. Perhaps someone should inform Danielle the only reason Kim considers her a friend is because of her wallet. Kim D. realizes she no longer has to pretend to be Danielle’s friend, you know since Danielle is no longer a paying customer, and politely kicks her out of the store.

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The Real housewives of New Jersey Recap