Whew – what an emotional episode of Real Housewives Of Dallas. These ladies go there like no other franchise except for New York. They are raw, open, and funny at the same time.
So, it’s the last day in Mexico and apparently if you’re from Dallas the word Mexico means “drama”.
After a particularly heinous night fighting over who is the trash and who needs to take it out, LeeAnne Locken wakes up as a girl does: fighting with a native bird and peeing herself, which is the new coffee. Then she has a heart-to-heart with Kameron Westcott about the fight with Brandi Redmond.
Aaaaahhhh… Viva la Mexico with the Real Housewives Of Dallas. Friends, or foes, who’s to know but napkins went flying, mediation mallets weren’t calming, and peeing in public took place! Oh, and this is only Kameron Westcott‘s behavior we’re talking about!
It’s hard night, good morning — or not! After said hard night of dealing with LeeAnne Locken‘s drama the good is mighty forced. Especially from LeeAnne herself. Stephanie Hollman was so agitated out she puked at 2am, to exorcise all the bad juju. But at least she was quiet so Kameron didn’t have to hear anything icky-o, right girl?
Last night, the Real Housewives Of Dallas traveled to Careyes, Mexico to visit Kary Brittingham‘s amazing family resort. Unfortunately, LeeAnne Locken forgot to pack her positivity panties and instead was like the human equivalent of having a yeast infection on vaycay. LeeAnne should’ve stay-away-cayed so Kameron Westcott could’ve fit another grande bago on the plane instead.
It’s just a casual morning here in Dallas, where our favorite Housewives are preparing for their day. Most people stumble to the coffee pot, but Kameron is perfectly coiffed with her eyelashes affixed, and is calmly blowing up a whoopee cushion then inviting Court to sit down. Kameron apparently didn’t know what a whoopee cushion is because she made a face like Court shoved a K-Cup up his hoo-hah during an impromptu pageant amongst friends in a private home. Class, Court, Claaaaaaays.
Meanwhile, Travis Hollman just got Housewiv’d! No, that’s not what he calls having sex with Stephanie Hollman. It’s when one receives an ultimate arrogant social slight. In this case, D’Andra Simmons stands Travis up for a business meeting, because her hair was getting did all night. D’Andra never even bothered to tell Travis directly that she needed to reschedule. Instead, she texted Stephanie at 1:30 am to cancel because she had a hair emergency. Suuuuper profesh, Daaandra!
On last night’s Real Housewives Of Dallas D’Andra Simmons celebrated her 50th birthday by asking all her friends to make fun of her on national TV. Then she got a big box of donuts for a present. To each their own, I suppose!
Here in Dallas we don’t just do squats. We electrocute our gluteus muscles with electrodes attached to every part of our bodies while we “sim-u-late” a 1987 Curves workout. Well, this is what Stephanie Hollman and Kameron Westcott are doing instead of hitting the gym and getting CoolSculpting. It’s called “90/20.” It goes through the motions of a 90 minute exercise while you wear some biomedical lab catsuit which is supposed to deeply sculpt all your muscles in 2o minutes.
Doing this gives Stephanie more time to eat corn nuts or pickles off Travis‘ chest. Or you know, whatever. It’s also been a great opportunity for Steph and Kam to bond away from the group and all the drama of D’Andra and LeeAnne Locken.
It’s a new, lighter season of Real Housewives Of Dallas – at least hair follicle-wise! Oh, haha – who am I kidding these ladies still hate each other! Well, LeeAnne Locken and D’Andra Simmons do anyway.
Get ready for another season of LeeAnne and D’Andra battling for title of Queen Bee. LeeAnne even references her pageant past in her tagline, and of course she’s wearing a crown for her wedding. Marrying Rich Emberlin is her crowning achievement after all – right after being the self-proclaimed Philanthropy Hub of Dallas. Did I mention that I love this show?
LeeAnne blames D’Andra for their reconciliation stalling. After all, D’Andra never reached out after the reunion, despite promising that she would after apologizing for saying Rich cheated. Thankfully we did not have to hear a long tearful spiel about LeeAnne’s abandonment issues and her amygdala being hyper-sensitive to false promises, which further degrade her fragile carnie heart, which is all LeeAnne’s mother’s fault for letting the tilt-a-whirl operator babysit her – or some crazy shit that causes one to poop in a bag after ripping your belt off in the name of Jesus. LeeAnne’s trust issues make her see relationships like cotton candy: they look so beautiful and full, but evaporate as soon as she gets too close with her hot air.
Labor Day means a long weekend, which usually translates to some fun times with family and friends. Some of the Vanderpump Rules cast members headed down to Cabo to celebrate Lala Kent’s twenty-ninth birthday. Lala posted a photo in her birthday suit. Stassi Schroeder posed with a sombrero on. Katie Maloney showed off her assets for the camera as well.
Meanwhile, Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright went out of the way to make sure that their social media followers knew that they missed their flights to Cabo just in case anyone wondered if they weren’t invited. And I can’t blame them given Jax’s other cast feuds.
Congratulations to LeeAnne Locken and Rich Emberlin! The Real Housewives of Dallas couple tied the knot on Saturday, April 27. And, it seems like they filmed the big day for Season 4. Or at least I hope they did since there were plenty of cast members present.
Plus, they did get engaged on the show. Why wouldn’t she film the wedding for next season? Especially after D’Andra Simmons and Brandi Redmond said it was never going to happen. And, no, it doesn’t seem like they attended. Or maybe they just kept the photos on the wraps for the sake of a storyline. But, it was most likely the first scenario.
Even though Dallas is far from the tundra, no one can blame Stephanie Hollman for escaping the winter for a family vacation in the Bahamas. The Bahamas sounds like the ideal winter location in all honesty. Stephanie, her husband Travis Hollman, their two sons, and other family members.
The Real Housewives of Dallas star shared plenty of photos from their time in the Bahamas. Unfortunately, we all don’t have the opportunity to ditch the winter weather for a nice, warm beach. However, we can live through Stephanie’s pictures from their family vacation and just imagine that we are enjoying the sunshine as well.