Oh Below Deck Mediterranean – sailing through some of the most beautiful scenery in the world with some of the most hideous people! Johnny Damon‘s wife needs to literally take several seats. Preferably on a yacht she actually owns.
I don’t know what is going on with this boat, but the constantly twisted up anchor seems to be a metaphor for the crew as well. Anastasia Surmava is now officially WAAAAY too big for her britches, but her britches are probably a thong bikini bottoms, so… Last week Anastasia was panicking over a unicorn cake. Now, she’s marching into the Michelin Star Service Station – without her chef’s coat! – to announce that she’s here to pick up her stars. Everything Anastasia served last night was a disappointment and the guests – bless their grimy, probably sexually unsatisfied hearts – were right to complain to Captain Sandy Yawn.
Chefs of the Below Deck: If we can make it at home using a Pinterest recipe we do not want to eat it on a yacht!!