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Lindsay Lohan just wrapped the first and only season of Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club. Her show was billed as a Vanderpump Rules style show. Which was somewhat true as the cast mostly partied and got into fights. 

However, Lindsay wasn’t around as much in the boss role like Lisa Vanderpump. Instead, the witty and fabulous Panos Spentzos was in charge. Andy Cohen, get Panos his own show stat! There’s no word yet if Lindsay’s show is going to get picked up for a second season. But if it does, it doesn’t seem like the cast of Vanderpump Rules is shaking in their boots. Especially Scheana Marie.

Vanderpump Rules

Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix are back for another season of Vanderpump Rules – despite last season’s crazy-stalker-antics and their relationship constantly being undermined. 

With the show currently filming season 4, the couple “doesn’t even know” what the season will hold. “We’re just getting into things,” explains Tom. “We do plan on having a lot of fun this summer,” piped in Ariana

 The couple also discussed the terms of Stassi Schroeder‘s parting. No surprise, Tom and Ariana hint she was fired. “I don’t know… I guess she walked off into the sunset,” said Tom elusively. “With a boot in her ass!” Ariana chimed in. 

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Jax Taylor gets another nose job as Vanderpump Rules stars filming season 4

Jax Taylor went back under the knife to pretty up the nose he got fixed last year! Just as Vanderpump Rules started filming it’s fourth season (which will definitely not include Stassi Schroeder), Jax advertised his newest nose job on instagram. 

The reality star and former male maaawwwwwddddle previously shared 3 photos immediately after surgery, a few days later, and then yesterday almost healed, but mysteriously Jax deleted the first two snaps – not enough pretty for the former Vogue boy?

“So today wasn’t a fun day for me but I love my guys @plastixdocs in Beverly Hills,” Jax said the day of his nose job.

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Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce - Season 1

The cast of Vanderpump Rules has been busy little beavers (not to be confused with cheating on their girlfriends with other beavers). Since filming wrapped, Tom Sandoval has been working on a pilot which just launched on Amazon, Vail Bloom has gone back to her acting roots, and Stassi Schroeder has been “podcasting” (not to be confused with sex- taping).

Tom 1‘s pilot Social Status, filmed this summer, is described as a comedy series about “Three recent college grads, and long time best friends” who “embark on the real world punching a time card while trying to find their dream job, make a living and spice up their social life.” It was co-produced by Peter Madrigal. And it sounds a lot like the current reality show they’re all on… 

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Scheana Marie marries Mike Shay on Vanderpump Rules

Last night on Vanderpump Rules there was a wedding instead of cheating drama! Scheana Marie got married and it had all the tackery and whinery one would expect. What one could not expect is that she spent approximately $100,000 on disco glitter and tantrums. 

Things begin with Scheana visiting Lisa Vanderpump‘s house for a pre-wedding check-in. Lisa wants to know if Scheana is really in love with Shay, the lurking hulk of gooey melted gummy bears that is about to become her permanent bedmate. Scheana is – why, she couldn’t tell you. What Scheana CAN tell you is that the heart wants what the bride wants no matter what it costs! It is HER. DAY to be pretty princess for a change, to usurp Stassi Schroeder as the unequivocal self-dubbed princess in the big pouffy dress and have all the attention ON. HER. 

Lisa wonders how Scheana is paying such extravagances as 5 sets of mink eyelashes and 50,000 rhinestone-studded rose pedals… Well, since you asked, Scheana is using her lawsuit settlement! BRAKES SCREECH… what, you say? Remember when Scheana broke her teeth and had to have 6 hours of agonizing dental surgery and no one visited her in the hospital? Well Scheana sued whomever broke her teeth and got a settlement, which she is blowing on her very own Barbie dream wedding! 

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kristen doute is fired from sur

It’s the dawning of a new era on Vanderpump Rules. SUR has officially been freed of one psychotic SURver Kristen Doute! In other news Tom Schwartz got caught cheating again. Oops!

Jax Taylor, the world’s biggest traitor, is hanging out poolside, grabbing cocktails with Kristen, who is reveling in her splendiforous outing of Tom Sandoval‘s cheating after she trotted Miami Girl, her used lip-plants, and Lee Press-On nails (Google the 80s for that ish!) up to the bar to confront Tom about the size of his peni (too small to warrant an “s”) and what exactly he was doing with it – not Kristen much to her dismay. 

Since Kristen is happy and Tom 1 is sabotaged, she is kissing James. Meanwhile Jax looks like someone put something in his vodka – was he roofied?! He’d probably like that. He’s there with Carmen. who despite being dumped over pizza is sticking around for more camera time! She accuses Jax of texting 5 other girls, which was a rhetorical question, right? To prove his innocence Kristen grabs his phone and, oh look! there’s a text from some girl in Vegas that Tom 2 cheated with.

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tom sandoval comes face-to-face with alleged miami hookup annemarie

On Vanderpump Rules one little piggy had quite the shock! Yes, it was Tom Sandoval who ran for his life all the way home, but it was Kristen Doute who ended up shocked! 

Tom was loitering, casually constructed behind the bar at SUR, when a trainwreck of botched lip implants and an immobile face appeared before him! He jumped; he recoiled in horror. No, not because he saw who it was – Annemarie from Miami – but because she ordered a Cosmo (is this Sex And the City circa 2002?!) – then he bolted. From her vantage point across the restaurant, perfectly positioned so she could witness the showdown while guzzling wine, Kristen leapt from her seat and went running after him. This wasn’t supposed to happen – Tom was supposed to run TOWARDS Kristen, not away from SUR. 

So now that we’ve set the scene, let’s rewind – Lord knows I did a lot of that last night to catch every wimple of drama. 

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Stassi Schroeder and Katie Maloney end their friendship

Last night there was a shift in the balance of equilibrium on Vanderpump Rules. No, Kristen Doute didn’t suddenly stop obsessing over Tom Sandoval – quite the contrary, actually – but Katie Maloney extracted herself from Stassi Schroeder and washed that bad friendship out of her hair. 

Everyone has returned from Miami in high spirits – Lisa Vanderpump is impressed they managed to take a vacation without killing Scheana. Tom 1 and Ariana Madix even believe Tom’s talk with Kristen has given her the closure she needs and everything is peaceful. That peace, is the quiet before the storm, sadly. 

Scheana Marie Almost Famous has anointed herself as diplomat of SUR and plans to ask Lisa for a raise after all the good work she did using penis straws to reunite the group. Poor Stassi is left out in the cold. She hasn’t just been shivering outside, pressing her face against the window and drooling over the fried goat cheese balls, she’s been beading! Stassi has been hustling! She’s not just living off her parents! Stassi’s real hustle is convincing people to actually interact with her. 

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