Can we agree that the fakest Bravo proposal was when Gretchen Rossi proposed to Slade Slimy Smiley on a helipad? Slade was broke (remember, he asked the jeweler to put an “imitation stone” in the ring setting?). In order to lock down some Season 9 income (spoiler: they didn’t), Slade and Gretchen manufactured an elaborate proposal. That proposal consisted of Marilyn Monroe cosplay, a song by Gretchen, a helicopter, and totally authentic declarations of love. Why the trip down memory lane?
Well, Watch What Happens Live gifted us with a week-long special that celebrated past and present Bravolebrities. The “Blasts From the Past” special was dedicated to former housewives. Taylor Armstrong, Phaedra Parks, Jill Zarin, Adriana de Moura, and Jacqueline Laurita joined Gretchen on WWHL to spill some tea and grill Andy Cohen.
Even though he was deported to his native Italy, Joe Giudice’s shadow still looms large on Real Housewives of New Jersey. Joe served time in prison for federal fraud charges, as did his now ex-wife, Teresa Giudice. After he was deported, the couple decided to split up.
RHONJ viewers know that Joe cheated on his wife, and Teresa’s bestie Dolores Catania alleged that Joe was a serial cheater. In a recent episode of RHONJ, Teresa revealed that her divorce from Joe was final, and that he walked away with nothing. He was horrible to Teresa and got exactly what he deserved. Now Joe is moving on with his life, keeping busy selling sex toys and dating his girlfriend, Daniela Fittipaldi.
Real Housewives of Orange County is over. It ended on the beach with a womp womp from producers and editors. They said without really saying, “we tried it without Tamra Judge. Replaced her with real live charisma vacuum, Elizabeth Lyn Vargas. And we know, it didn’t work.” The whole series needs an overhaul.
None of these women are natural together. The only thing they have in common is not liking Braunwyn Windham-Burke. The reunion was hard to watch. There was a lot of deflection from every single woman on stage, except Gina Kirschenheiter. Kelly Dodd is not a Covidiot, she’s Black! Braunwyn isn’t a mess. She just had seven kids with her husband because she’s an alcoholic! Emily Simpson does too support LGBTQ people. She went to a club with drag queens that one time! Deflections and irrationality everywhere, and Gina is happy to call it out.
The Vanderpump Rules reckoning is an ongoing movement. Since OGs Stassi Schroeder and Kristen Doute were fired this summer for racist behavior (along with newbies Max Boyens and Brett Caprioni), people have been waiting for Jax Taylor to get the boot. Jax and his wife, Brittany Cartwright, made headlines this year when it was revealed that they were totally apathetic about having a homophobe marry them on TV. It was also revealed that Brittany used racial slurs against Faith Stowers.
Jax and Brittany got booted off Pump Rules last week. In spite of the fact that Stassi didn’t want them to get fired. Brittany’s meemaw can’t churn out the beer cheese fast enough to sooth either of them. This was a long time coming for Jax. His absence will shift the show, and even Andy Cohen is ready for the change.
You are cordially invited to witness the finest performance 2020 has blessed us with. Please don your pearls to clutch and your hankies to weep into. The saga of NeNe Leakes’ controversial departure from Real Housewives of Atlanta continues. As you know, NeNe will not be returning to the show that made her famous. SHE DEFINITELY WAS NOT FIRED, but there seems to be some speculation it was not her choice to leave.
NeNe’s farewell has been filled with strife. With claims of mistreatment and being “forced out” by Bravo, NeNe is not going gentle into that good night. After former friend Wendy Williams appeared on Watch What Happens Live, NeNe was unable to prevent the unleashing of her full wrath. Lobbing accusations of racism at Andy Cohen one way, hurling personal insults at Wendy another, NeNe ripped off what was left of her filter and scorched her previous relationships. What else is left for NeNe to do, as a consequence of her actions? Cry about it.