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Jersey Shore’s “Twinning” aired last night with Mike winning twins. He loses one to Deena while losing his friendship with Snooks. Rawn and Sam make-up, while Vinny and Pauly, as always, entertain the masses.

The episode starts out with Florida chick trying to find her clothes while the Situation tries to find her a cab. Mike gets distracted on his way to the phone and feels the need to nap on the patio furniture where he proceeds to get attacked by a pigeon. Not once, but twice. How can you not believe in karma?

Ronnie can’t believe that after three seasons of this mess, he is just now realizing how alike he and Snooki are. They are both DTWO (down to work out), DTD (down to drink), DTP (down to party), and DTHAGT (down to have a good time)…I assume that DTF is implied, although hopefully not with each other. Neither are DTRAM (down to read a map) so when they can’t find the gym, the pair opts for cocktails at a local bistro. Snooki seems to be the only one in the house who hope Rawn and Sam reconcile because the drama Snooks brings pales in comparison to their relationship.

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Deena is looking for love, Italian style, with Sammi playing wingman. Deena gets the waiter’s number because he fits her criteria. He speaks “well English.” After drinks, Snooki and Ronnie head to gym. Weight machines and wine seem to be a good mix for Nicole.

Pauly and Vinny are playing the tiniest game of foosball ever. The gang heads out to the club and Mike is stoked because he believes he secured a twinsituation for late night. Snooki parties in a different way now that she’s in a long distance relationship, and that seems to mean that while she shows just as much underwear while dancing (I’m just thankful she’s wearing it), she emits shrill, high-pitched screams when approached by the opposite sex.

Sammi corners Rawn and promises she’s over her jealousy issues and she misses him. She was so good to him. If she says that anymore, I may start to believe it. Ronnie, yet again, exercises discretion and refuses to make-out with a willing Sammi. Instead, he asks her if they can discuss their relationship the following day while sober. Damn, that Xanadrine must be a calming game changer for Roid Rawn.

Deena’s waiter arrives at the clerb and she can’t wait to get down on the dance floor. And by ‘get down,’ I mean ‘make-out’, while JWoww means ‘Jersey turnpiking him.’ What is this? I need to know. Stat. Everyone is enjoying their time out when Mike begins ‘twinning.’ Pauly D over-explains that ‘twinning’ is like winning (Charlie MaSheen style, I assume) with chicks who shared a womb.

Between make-out sessions, Deena explains to her Italian stallion that she is NOT easy. And I did not at all have to take a break from writing this recap to laugh my face off at that comment. Snooki gets off the phone with her father so that Mike can supposedly use the phone, clad in his very controversial A&F gear. Mike says he’s only calling girls to make Snooks jealous. He must have her, and she must have her space.

Deena gets upset at being admonished to the smush room because she’s “not doing sex.” She doesn’t understand why Vinny has a problem with her and waiter sleeping in their shared room while they make-out. A fight ensues where Deena has to be held back from Vinny. Why does he care that she makes out in their room while he’s sleeping? Is that a rhetorical question?

The twins have become Situation stalkers, and Ronnie pretends like he’s the Situation and lures the girls over to the house to hook up with a sleeping Mike.

The next morning, the twins arrive bright and early as Snooki gets into another phone fight with her boyfriend. Mike is stunned to see the twins and does a series of awkward breathy laughs between tweezing. Rawn just became my new favorite shore mate. There’s a new game this week, and as sad as I am to see “She’s too young for you, bro” fall by the wayside, I love Pauly and Vinny interrogating the twins. “If I pull her hair, will you feel it?” Brilliant.

Mike, never a daytime dater, takes the twins out to breakfast, questioning non-slutty twin’s virginity. Also on a date, Sam and Rawn. And it’s Rawnmantic. Sammi tell Rawn, “You should do you.” Flashbacks! She’s not jealous of anything anymore. At. All. Reconciliation’s heeya! But why (oh God why?) does Sam insist on always wearing exercise clothes out on dates? Not okay. Unless you been GTLing. Then it’s totes appropes. The happy couple heads back to the villa to share their good news with their friends. Because, you know, it’s different this time. Snooki is thrilled as now she’ll have the drama she’s been missing on the trip. The guys rib the couple through song, and it’s all kinds of a soundtrack I need to own.

The gang has found a clerb that is straight up Jersey, and JWoww, Pauly and Vinny could not be more excited. And then the twins arrive. Fear not though, as the Situation prides himself on his ability to adapt to, you know, situations. Snooki is trying to coordinate Mike’s threesomes, but then Deena moves in and starts hooking up with one of the twins. I’m putting my money on the non-virginal one. Pauly says it best, it’s a “Les Be Honest Experience.” This cannot be scripted!

The Situation’s ménage-a-twin has been hijacked by Deena. Oh. Em. Gee. Deena is with the virgin. Rawn tells Sam that Mike told him (whew!) that he hooked up with Snooks while she was dating Gianni. Jenni listens from across the room while casually eating late-night pasta. Both Deena and Mike have left their respective twins to seek food, and Deena’s twin finds herself straddling Deena’s roommate Vinny. Awkward. Deena pulls a double robbery and gets her twin back, although the twin may or may not have busted a lip when she falls face first out of Vinny’s twin bed. Oh the perils of being young and trying to hook up with freakishly tan juiceheads. It’s a burden I live with daily.

Snooks is trying to play Mike by being all, that’s awesome you brought that girl home, think you’ll smush? Mike tells her what she wants to hear that he just wanted to make his one true love jealous. JWoww interrupts with an emergency. 911, Mike has been talking smack about Snooki! JWoww informs her that Mike has been telling everyone he smushed Snooks. Snooki is all “what details?” “Nothing happened!” And JWoww is buying it about as much as I am, but she still doesn’t like seeing her friend’s name dragged through the orange mud. Snooki tells off Mike, so maybe it’s twin time for him.

The Situation reverts back to referring to himself in the third-person, and while yelling at him, Snooki retools her accusation to say, “You’re lying by telling people we ever hooked up…recently.” Semantics. Sam and Rawn are thrilled that finally it is someone else’s drama keeping the housemates up at night. Why do I feel inclined to believe Mike? I am such a Snooki lover–I feel like such a traitor.

After quite the make-out session, Deena feels awkward for hooking up with a girl and send her back to Vinny’s bed. Vinny then hands her a million dollar prize for being roommate of the year. Snooki tries to convince Ronnie of her innocence, but not even he is buying it. A cheater knows a cheater knows a cheater. Ronnie begs her to come clean to Gianni. Regardless, Ronnie thinks it is not cool of Sitch to wag his loose lips all over the house. Ron believes Mike, but thinks his motives for blabbing were based solely on wanting to be an instigator. JWoww consoles Snooki the rest of the house mates bed down for the evening.

Next week, Snooki worries about losing Gianni, and Deena feels alienated by the guys. Rawn and Sam relish in being the only peeps not causing drama…until Rawn throws a suitcase. But wait, it’s Mike’s! And Mike might be slightly foaming at the mouth. Is it next Thursday yet?

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE EPISODE AND THE RECAP? HOW LONG WILL SAM AND RAWN LAST THIS TIME AROUND?

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