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Recaps

Raquel Leviss

On last night’s Vanderpump Rules the quest to destroy James Kennedy continued. Will he be victorious?! Read on to find out…. or at least hear more about what happened.

Back in the trenches of SUR, the dumpster cesspool is oozing with slime and gooey particles as everyone watches the time bomb that is James‘ sex life explode. After calling Katie Maloney too fat for her green shorts, James storms out. He does a lap around the building and ends up at Jax Taylor‘s little bar shack as he is scrambling to remember what goes in a Pumptini.

Stassi Schroeder is just complaining about James being unhinged, and like that moment in a horror movie where you just know the heroine (it pains me to compare Stassi to a heroine) is about to get killed, James lurks right behind wielding an insult about dildos. Does it have spikes – we know Stassi loves those sort of things as weapons!

NeNe Leakes in Destin, FL

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta a couple’s trip turned into a girl’s trip which means people squabbling over petty things like its their job. Oh wait, on this show it is!

Porsha Williams is newly pregnant and realizes she has to work to support this baby! At the Original Hot Dog Factory, that is. She is living the dream – working side by side with her hot dog of a man, Dennis McKinley, while carrying his bun in her oven. This little pork party is broken up by Dennis’s mother “Mama G” who has all eyes on Porsha. Especially her work ethic!

90 Day Fiance Recap: No Way Out

Is 90 Day Fiance trying to shock us? Because we have been dragged through such torture this season, we are now officially un-shockable! It truly feels like the behind the scenes antics, tantrum-like protestations, and spoiler revelations of cast members combined with a pretty dark season of terrible on-screen behavior have combined to create a general sense of angst among viewers.

Where are the Angelas and Michaels from 90 Day Fiance of yesteryear to talk about doing “the BJ for real?” We need them! Yo, TLC: BRING. BACK. THE. COMEDY. At least we got to see Leida Margaretha dragged by Eric Rosenbrook’s ex-wife, Tania, who’s finally had enough of Leida’s horrific behavior toward her daughters. Although Tania could have gone WAY harder on Leida, we’ll take what we can get. And this week also brought us a tiny little scooter used as a getaway vehicle after a verbal altercation, so there’s hope yet. 

Love After Lockup Recap: The $12,000 Lie

If we thought Love After Lockup’s premiere episode for Season Two was insane, then we had no idea what WEtv had up its sleeve. Because this week’s Love After Lockup was even better. By better, I mean crazier, messier, and even more whack. Everything we’re looking for in our favorite trash TV show!

Last week, we met three couples plus a thrupple. Yep, one of this season’s inmates, Michael, has TWO women on the outside waiting for him. Neither woman knows the other exists, which will make for an extremely interesting release day. Before we get to this epic disaster, let’s review the progression/regression of events in everyone else’s tale of prison romance.

Quad-Simone-and-Jackie-at-party

This season on Married to Medicine, we have witnessed fights, fake reconciliations and even threats of choke outs.  Hopefully the finale episode is one to remember. Last week’s episode was to be continued, after Mariah Huq received a scary phone call informing her that her husband, Aydin Huq has been admitted to the hospital. She rushes off the bus to her husband’s side, while he is still fighting off viral meningitis in the hospital.

All the ladies check on Aydin’s condition as a show of support, in light of his scary diagnosis. Mariah has been at Aydin’s bedside while he is in the hospital. She believes he may have contracted the virus from a patient in the ER. Although she is stressed about her husband’s health, she is hopeful that he will get better and they will be out of the hospital soon.

Nilsa-and-Aimee

Get ready for your dose of trash TV! Floribama Shore is like junk food. You know it’s not healthy or good for you, but it’s so satisfying at times. This week’s episode, we get to see what happens the morning after when Gus Smyrnios hooks up with a random. If you ask me, he brought the drama on himself. Who attempts a friend with benefits relationship with a stage 5 clinger you are stuck living with all summer?

Gus complains about the lack of privacy and how he feels like he is doing a walk of shame. Yet he proceeds to make his one night stand breakfast before giving her the boot. Rather than a walk of shame, it seems as if he is leading a parade. He clearly wants everyone to know this girl stayed the night with him. If not everyone, he is clearly sending a message to one person in particular, Nilsa Prowant.

LeeAnne Locken RHOD reunion

Last night was part two of the Real Housewives Of Dallas reunion which also marked the official end of season 3. I have to say of all the Real Housewives franchises, this one is still my favorite.

Sure, Real Housewives Of Dallas could use some tweaking – like please no more Brandi Redmond vs. LeeAnne Locken feuds dominating every season Whew! We have had enough! Having LeeAnne and Brandi become BFF would be totally insincere and producer-driven. I’d like to see them settle into an acquaintanceship where they can have fun together socially (or at least be civil) and leave it at that.

I’d also love to see D’Andra Simmons go back in time and recognize it’s a wig she’s wearing on her head, not a crown, so there is no need to start petty drama with LeeAnne! Those two are much better as friends. They balance each other and have a great dynamic. This season D’Andra got too big for her britches and LeeAnne’s britches already have L’infinity egos. 

RHONJ-Danielle-Staub

Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey, we were reminded of why Danielle Staub is basically the worst – and that she’s truly in her element while on stage with men gyrating all over her. Since that’s exactly what the ladies served up for her bachelorette party, we got to see the many faces of Danielle go from full on rage to frightening glee all within a 30 minute timeframe. Even though Margaret Josephs was the ambassador of Danielle’s dreams, all she had to show for it at the end of the episode was a huge party planning bill and a chewing out.

Margaret was also put in charge of buying penis straws and dildos for Danielle’s big night. So we find her in the store looking for the “classy” items Danielle would approve of. Ahh…’twill be a night to remember! They shall celebrate Danielle’s last night of freedom in style before her marriage to Marty Caffrey, which will last approximately 4 seconds before restraining orders and divorce papers are filed. But who’s counting?