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So three minutes into last night’s Dancing With the Stars Results Show, I am already in hog heaven. Justin Bieber? Thank you, ABC, because I didn’t get enough of his cool hair and teen angst on today’s episode of Ellen. Honestly, I didn’t. I think he’s presh, and I may even own a couple of his ditties on iTunes. Don’t judge. Never Say Never. Bieber Fever and all that jazz. Wait, what am I writing about? Oh yeah, the results for the DWTS’s Halloween Extravaganza…

Carson Kressley is back, and in a more comfortable role as correspondent for Monday night’s show. He interviews fans, audience members and the adorbs Coco Arquette. The judges want to see Team Paso Doble for the evening’s encore dance, so Hope Solo, Ricki Lake and a recently bro-in-law-less Rob Kardashian hit the dance floor. I’m sure it’s been said before, but Ricki looks ah-mazing.

The first round of “stars” is highlighted. Rob Kardashian had his best dance to date, according to the judges (and he did a pretty good job I’ll say), but Nancy Grace (deservedly) found herself in the bottom two after being last on the leaderboard. I guess Kardashian fans weren’t too distraught over Kimmie’s divorce news to text in their votes! Brooke Burke-Charvet reminds Nancy that she has a 50/50 chance of going home and she tells Rob he could possibly be this season’s dark horse. J.R. Martinez, a consistent leader who dropped in points this week, parodies the Biebs.

Seventeen-year-old Victoria Rose Viren is spotlighted as the night’s breakout dancer. At fourteen, she collapsed during ballet practice and doctors discovered she had a brain tumor. After surgery, she was in a wheelchair and had to teach herself to walk through rigorous physical therapy. Two months later, she was performing in the Nutcracker. On the DWTS’s stage she executes a beautiful routine while Christina Perri performs a song I will most definitely be adding to my iTunes. What an amazing night for Victoria Rose — and I bet she gets to meet little Justin Bieber too!

Derek Hough has choreographed a very intense number that he performs with a partner, but I think it’s just an excuse for gratuitous shirtlessness on his part. I am too distracted by his constant counting to appreciate the complexity of the dance. Next up, J.R.’s Monday night ghost bust is highlighted, which Len Goodman called sub-standard. Ricki Lake’s performance rightfully wowed the judges once again. It’s no surprise that both Ricki and J.R. (woo hoo!) are deemed safe and will be sticking around to dance another week.

The Biebs sings once again… and no surprise it’s a song from his “Under the Mistletoe” holiday album that was coincidentally released yesterday. It’s not very Christmas-y, but that’s okay as we just had Halloween and I can’t start with the holiday merriment quite yet. What I can start with is remembering how much I love Boyz II Men. Motown Philly, anyone? I am way on board for this collaboration and I am officially declaring this elimination episode a giant upgrade from last week’s snooze fest.

We revisit Monday night for the final two contestants. Hope Solo receives some very positive reviews from the judges, but I am reliving the awkwardness of her trying to garner the same from partner Maks Chmerkovskiy. While he may not be the one to beat, David Arquette always seems to have fun on the dance floor and was praised for his improvement. Hope and Maks are safe, which means David must head to the bottom two with Nancy Grace.

Ultimately, Nancy Grace must say her final good-bye. CURSES! I always type out my prediction during the final commercial break, and up until now, I’ve always been right. I hate to see David go. He really seems to enjoy himself. True to form, he goes out with a laugh, making fun of Maks’ outburst from last week. Cheers to you, Mr. Arquette!

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S ELIMINATION SHOW? WERE YOU SAD TO SEE DAVID ARQUETTE GO? WILL YOU BE BUYING THE BIEB’S HOLIDAY ALBUM?

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