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Karma comes every Jerzday with those crazy kids from the Jersey Shore. Last night was no exception with meatball mania, Pauly’s party, and a sad, sad Situation.

Pauly D sadly watches his friend Vinny drive off into the night. He heads to the club to inform the roommates that they are now a man down. Deena starts bawling, forcing Jenni to play mother hen to Drunk Deena. In the restroom, she tries to compose herself as Jenni bravely pulls Deena’s belt skirt over her lady bits. After calming down, Deena is ready to take to the dance floor regardless of the big hunk of toilet paper stuck to her shoe.

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Only Mike is not phased by the news (no shocker there!) finding a grenade to take back to the shore house. Pauly also finds a girl so that he can “get it in for [his] man Vinny.” That is a tribute, my friends! Back at the house, Mike gives the ladies a lesson in Italian. By the light of the grainy night-vision camera, we see the ever responsible Situation unwrapping a condom. This must be MTV’s PSA for safe sex. Are you listening Teen Moms? It’s for the greater good. I mean, thank God he’s not going to procreating and sending Situation spawn out into the world.

The next morning, Snooki sends Jionni on his way with a heartfelt “I won’t cheat on you today.” Aww, young love. She won’t have time for cheating anyway, as IT’S MEATBALL DAY! Snooki and Deena are way out of control and it’s not even lunch time. They run into Deena’s sister Joanie, and Deena says, “Mom’s going to kill me for getting you drunk.” I’m confused. Joanie looks like she’s thirty-five. The meatballs find some gay gentleman to help carry Snooki to the next bar. You know it’s bad when Deena is the sober one.

At the next locale, the meatball ‘veterans’ get into a full-on clerb style dance-off with some fellow patrons. Their furry boots make them look like crazed Ewoks with (thankfully) blurred out Britneys, saving the retinas (and souls) of the collective viewership. Once they get back to the house (Britneys still blurred, boots still furry), Deena realizes her extensions are in a knot. Pauly D manages to pull out a handful of hair. Gag. Mother JWoww gives the shedding meatball a deep condition, dumping handfuls of fake hair into the bathtub. Double gag, but crisis averted.

At Karma that night, Rawn is wearing skinny jeans in honor of his pal Vin. Pauly has another way to honor his friend. He finds an older tatted lady who is 1.) totally Vinny’s type, and more importantly 2.) DTF. Pauly takes her home to have his way with her in Vinny’s bed. That’s friendship, dear readers. True friendship. Back at the club, Mike and the Component Unit want to play GTT with Snooki. For you laymen, that’s Gym, Tan, The truth will set you free. Does the Situation have a cross shaved in the back of his head? Holy moley… pun intended. On their way to torture poor Snooks, a bar fight breaks out and the Element is kicked out of the club. Back at the house, the ever classy Pauly D calls Vin’s bang a cab.

The following day, the hungover trio of Ronnie, Mike and Jenni head to work at the Shore Store. Mike manages to pick a cute girl who hails from Bosnia and requests a grilled cheese for breakfast in the event she ever stays the night at the shore house. Later that afternoon, Rawn and the roomies (totally the name of my imaginary band) call Vinny to tell him how much they miss him. Pauly D dishes on his many tributes.

At Aztec, Mike finds his Shore Store lady, but he passes her off to Pauly D as a 31st birthday present after running into his main smush Paula. Back at the house, Pauly D gives the Bosnian beauty an ultimatum: come to bed or he’ll call her a cab. Cabs ah heeya! Knock, knock! She’s baa–ack, and now she wants to hang out with Mike. Looks like we have a situation. Mike explains that he will not be making any grilled cheeses as Paula will be sharing his bed tonight. So… off she goes again. Sam is flabbergasted that someone who isn’t DTF for Pauly D would be DTF for Mike.

The next day, Pauly’s family arrives to celebrate his big day with a special gift — his barber. After a haircut, Pauly is FTD. Fresh to death! The girls are planning on surprising both he and Mike with a dual birthday surprise party — strippers! The guys head to a big dinner with Pauly’s family. Mike is pouting because no one is there to celebrate with him. He wanders off to fall asleep on a sofa in the restaurant. Once Rawn hears him snoring, he goes and decorates Mike’s face with icing. Speaking of icing, back at home Sam is decorating a cake from the roommates to Pauly. Womp, womp, womp. Sitch is sad. He isolates himself from the group. Still jealous and upset the following day, he leaves the house without a word.

Next week, Mike is still MIA, Pauly D gets yet another birthday celebration, Sam gets into a girl fight and the roommates scheme to kidnap Vinny.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? SHOULD MEATBALL DAY BECOME A NATIONAL HOLIDAY? IS MIKE OVERREACTING OR JUSTIFIED IN HIS POUTINESS?

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