When we last left the Mob Wives, the ladies were in the midst of a bar brawl in the Poconos. Renee is being her normal dramalicious self, but as soon as the guy she’s arguing with becomes overly insulting, her friends are up in his face as well. The patron is kicked out by security, and Renee decides to call Junior, screaming at him to come and retrieve her from this hell known as nature.
Carla is now left at Shenanigans with Ramona and Karen. Immediately, the “cousins” start touting Carla for being so loyal to Drita. Oh great, thinks Carla. She didn’t sign up to be part of a Drita basins session. Ramona states that she’s thrilled Carla has joined their team, but her face turns totally sour when Karen cites that Carla is just “Team Carla.” Luckily, Carla gets a much-needed break when Karen and Ramona decide it’s time to sing karaoke and make a mockery of Louis Vuitton.
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Drita goes to visit a neck brace wearing Big Ang after her thyroid surgery. Big Ang’s description of her time at the hospital is priceless. Drita relays to Big Ang that she was happy with her first session of anger management. She wants to talk to Karen to see if they can’t shelve their issues, and she hopes she can learn to argue with calmer words and not fists. Big Ang suggests having a bouncer present.
Carla talks to Joe on the phone, and she is thrilled to learn he’ll be out of the halfway house in a matter of days. She is excited he’ll be able to help out more with their kids, and he vows to do so. Back at the cabin, Renee reappears. I guess Junior wasn’t too keen on driving two and a half hours to come pick her up from the Poconos. Karen tries to explain to Renee that when people drink, things escalate. Karen would know, right? Renee makes no excuses for flying off the handle at the bar. She will not be disrespected. Good gracious. Karen inquires about what the women should do that day, and Renee wants to shoot guns. That sounds safe!
Shooting it is! Karen is very proud talking about seeing her father’s gun as a child and learning it was for “other wars.” The women are enjoying the shooting range, and Renee may or may not be a worse shot than I am. At least I can hit the target! After an afternoon of glocks and rifles, the women head back home to Staten Island. Meanwhile, Drita gets a call from her cousin’s wife asking if she’d be interested in modeling for her new bathing suit line.
Renee and Junior have a double date with AJ and his girlfriend, Sidney. They cheers to her being a part of their family. Um, they are seventeen and have dated for four months. No need to walk her down the aisle and initiate her into the mobster lifestyle. Save that for their six month anniversary. The next day, Renee attempts to have a birds and the bees conversation with AJ. He refuses to talk to her about it, and he is stumbling over his words. After some schooling on condoms and latex allergies, AJ must reveal on camera that he doesn’t use condoms as he’s not having sex. After telling his mom he’s over the conversation, she begins chasing him around the house. Aww, AJ is presh.
Karen is visiting Ramona and discussing Ramona’s daughter’s upcoming birthday. Her daughter wants a computer as her main present, as well as getting to visit her mom’s incarcerated boyfriend. Karen thinks that is just the sweetest thing! At least Ramona’s daughter wasn’t in a similar situation as Karen’s. Karen’s daughter has anxiety from watching her father being carried away by the police a gun point. A maximum security prison is nothing…plus, she’ll get to see that Joe is doing alright.
Drita and Carla are going bowling, and Carla is thrilled to hang out with her friend after such a drama-filled vacay. She fills in Drita about the night from hell in the Poconos when Ramona told Renee that Drita lied about what she told Renee. Carla believes Drita and she thinks that Ramona takes advantage of Renee’s instability. Drita is so angry, she bowls a strike. After hearing about all the craziness of the Poconos, Drita needs to be around some positive energy so she heads to Big Ang’s house for some spray tanning. Holy majoley, Big Ang’s tatas are like two watermelons, her flat stomach and legs are perfect! I can’t believe she’s fifty-one!
Ramona is dining with her eleven-year-old daughter after taking her to visit her boyfriend, Joe in jail. Her daughter is crying because of how depressing the experience was. She thought it was scary. Ramona thinks the visit only proves how loyal her daughter is. It’s sad to watch.
Drita arrives at her modeling shoot. She begins wearing thigh high stiletto boots, a one-piece cut up to “there” and some leather fingerless glove hybrid. It’s as if she’s an extra in The Hunger Games. The next suit appears to be made of mesh, but Drita has the figure to wear such ridic stuff.
Renee goes to Ramona’s house to fill her in on an e-mail she received from Drita regarding the Junior situation. Ramona gets louder and louder about how horrible a friend Drita is to Renee. Renee is having a full on panic attack, shaking and losing her cool…on Carla! Renee doesn’t think that Carla does a good job staying neutral. Ramona didn’t see that one coming! Renee can’t wait to “address this issue” (aka kick some a$$) with Drita.
Carla is over the moon because Joe is officially out of the halfway house. He’s coming over for dinner for the first time in six years. The dude arrives in a Mercedes…perhaps I need to serve some time. Joe, who is pretty flipping adorable, is thrilled to see his children, and their kids are all smiles. While Carla doesn’t have a clue what the future holds for them as a couple–if anything–she is excited that they are getting along and her family is back intact.
Next week, Big Ang discusses her arrest, and Renee is screaming, distraught, collapsing, and coming unhinged over a letter she finds from Junior.
WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WOULD YOU WANT TO GO TO THE SHOOTING RANGE WITH THE LADIES? COMMENTS ON DRITA’S PHOTO SHOOT?