Dance Moms Recap: Hot Messes

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Last night's Dance Moms was not fun to watch.  Sure, the girls were as cute and talented as ever, the moms are as crazy as ever, and Abby Lee Miller was over the top hateful.  I have to keep reminding myself that it's scripted, but those poor girls were treated so badly.  I am so sick of watching Abby take out her frustrations with the mothers on her dancers.  They are nothing but sweet…well, I'm not so sure about the new squeaky voiced one.

The replacement team is still in place, and while Abby isn't thrilled with their second place finish last week, she feels that this group is much easier to work with than the originals.  However, the old moms (or "real dance moms" as Christi calls them) are back having a pow-wow in the parking lot.  Kelly has returned because, although she hates how Abby treats her daughters, the girls miss the studio and their friends.  In the studio, Abby calls Shelly to find out where her daughter Ally is…and she's back in New Orleans.  Shelly wasn't going to have the other moms blaming her daughter for the group dance coming in second, and Abby understands her frustration.  She's now livid with the other moms, and she is going to let the remaining new moms know, and she kicks out the two mothers who blamed Ally for the finish.  Their daughters are in tears, and I hate it for the girls.  Abby doesn't care.  She's fine just having Sophia on her team.

The OG moms have finally gotten the courage to enter the studio, but Kelly stays behind so as not to piss off Abby anymore.  Since Abby now has some openings, she invites the moms to quit loitering in the parking lot and come in and dance.  Holly says that she's got God on her side…"and God on your thighs" says Abby under her breath.  Glass houses?  She gives the moms an ultimatum about signing the contract and being loyal to her and not to Kelly.  Jill and Melissa quickly cave, and Christi and Holly agree to sign as long as Abby will entertain Kelly's girls rejoining the team.  Kelly comes in to speak with Abby and ends up (kind of) apologizing, and she signs her contract.  Jill is shocked to see Jacqueline and her daughter Sophia.  Abby puts all of the original team on the bottom of the pyramid, with Sophia at the top. 

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The competition this week will be in Ohio and the group dance is called "Red Carpet Special."  Not surprisingly, Sophia gets a solo.  Chloe scores a solo, but only to see how much she's regressed in her time away from the studio.  Turning to the moms, she barks that the moms are going to have to complete some assignments to show their loyalty.  Christi is not on board, but what can she do?  Abby takes immense satisfaction in rubbing Sophia's talent in the other girls' faces.  Christi and Melissa aren't very welcoming to Jacqueline which Kelly finds slightly humorous.  They can't stand having a new dancer that is likely going to consistently beat their daughters.  Jacqueline tries to play nice, reminding the moms that all of their daughters are talented stars.  Of course, Christi takes this opportunity to call out Jacqueline for writing some not so nice things online about a young dancer in Miami. Jacqueline denies it, and Jill pipes up she's heard the same.

Chloe's solo practice is cut short, and Abby makes sure that she knows her dance is about being in the shadow of someone better.  Kelly knows that Melissa is secretly so relieved that Maddie doesn't have a solo to compete with Sophia.  The moms are cleaning out the costume room, and then Christi brainstorms ways in which to initiate Jackie…some of her suggestions?  Putting stuff in her eyelash glue or slipping her a roofie.  Keepin' it classy, Christi!  You know it's bad when Kelly thinks someone is being too mean.

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The day before the competition, the moms are joking with Jackie about how Abby needs a good roll in the hay.  Jacqueline questions whether Abby is married, and the moms laugh.  Abby does not like to see Jackie giggling with the other moms, so she sends her assistant into the viewing room to remind her to watch and not talk.  We learn that Sophia is home schooled two days a week for two hours each day, and she stretches at least two hours a day before dance.  The educator in Holly is appalled.  Melissa thinks it's just sad, especiallly given that all the other girls go to school full-time.  When Abby questions why the moms aren't counting props as she requested, Christi makes a dig about being the product of public schools so she isn't able to count very high, adding that if she'd been home schooled she probably wouldn't be able to count at all.  Kelly can't believe how hateful her friend is being.  I hope that sweet Chloe doesn't end up as mean as her mom.  Abby is clearly taking out her anger with Christi out on Chloe. 

Abby then decides that the group number has too many dancers, so she wants the moms to serve as judges as to who to keep and who to cut.  The girls are feeling a ton of pressure.  The moms admit that they can't be objective, so Abby immediately cuts BrookeHolly tries to be diplomatic, but Abby won't stop talking smack about how ungrateful and lazy their daughters are…except Sophia, of course.  Christi finally snaps at Abby to shut her mouth, while Jackie plays peacemaker.

At the competition, the girls are swarmed by fans.  Abby reminds her team that those fans are there because her girls are national champions…or because they are reality television stars.  Abby is rehearsing with Sophia while blatantly ignoring all of the other girls.  I hope that Chloe brings her A-game for her solo.  There is no denying that Sophia is an amazing talent, and she is head and shoulders above the other girls…even Maddie.  How many tuns can this kid do in a row?  She's making me dizzy.  Chloe is forced to dance immediately after, and she is incredible.  Abby doesn't even bother to clap for her which makes me want to reach through the screen and smack her in the face.  Abby comes into the rehearsal room praising Sophia all over the place without even a comment for poor Chloe.  I really don't think I would blame Christi if she lost it.

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A tearful Kelly watches the girls prep for the group number, and she's upset that Brooke isn't there. Melissa is concerned about the red carpet prop because the girls haven't rehearsed with it.  Poor MacKenzie has quite a time unrolling that thing.  All of the moms feel like Abby is sabotaging their girls with a rushed and barely practiced routine.  When it's time for awards, Chloe places third while Sophia takes the top prize.  Chloe then receives the Expressive Heart award for how emotional she is while dancing.  I'll admit, I got a bit teary…she's so precious.  The ALDS group dance takes first place as well.  Back in the rehearsal room, Chloe reveals that she's glad that the got third place in her solo so that Abby couldn't call her a "first loser."  Bless her heart.  Abby barrels into the room and tells her troupe that she's glad the judges weren't paying attention to how sloppy they were during the group number.  She tells Sophia that she was amazing, and then she calls Chloe a hot mess.  Christi reminds her that Chloe is a product of Abby's teaching, while Sophia came from another studio mere weeks ago.  Abby screams about how awful Chloe is, and Christi can't even retaliate…she just bursts into tears.  I'll admit, I am super heated right now!

Next week, Sophia is back at the top of the pyramid even though she's absent from class.  Maddie and Kendall get a duet which leads to drama between Melissa and Jill.  Kendall is on Abby's radar as a punching bag for the episode. 

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S DANCE MOMS?  DID YOU FEEL AS BADLY FOR THE GIRLS AS I DID?

[Photo Credit: Lifetime]

 

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