On last night's Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller was even more psychotic than ever in light of the return of Cathy and her Candy Apples.  Cathy brought some breakdancers, Jill took Melissa's place as Abby's do-girl, and Christi…well, Christi reaches her boiling point in a way I would have never imagined. 

Melissa is very nervous about the pyramid because she knows Abby is mad at her and livid over the fourth place finish.  In fact, Abby swoops in and stares down the dancers, telling them she wants to take a long hard look at what fourth place looks like.  ALDC hasn't seen fourth place in two decades.  Someone start the violins, please.  She is the one who is choreographing and teaching the dances.  The entirety of the blame doesn't lie on a bunch of girls in elementary school.  Or am I just crazy?  Sometimes it's hard to tell…

The girls will be traveling to New Jersey for this week's competition.  MacKenzie is at the bottom of the pyramid, and Abby yanks her from the group dance.  A tearful Maddie joins her sister, and that has to be a blow given how she's used to being on top.  I really wish Abby would stop punishing these girls for their mother's bad behavior.  She rubs Maddie's nose in the fact that Chloe won at Nationals.  Paige's alleged "laziness" puts her on the lowest rung as well along with Nia for just being "fine."  Jill is estatic to see Kendall finally off the bottom, and Abby warns Kendall that she only needs to be worried when Abby no longer cares enough to criticize her dancing abilities.  How sweet.  Chloe is also in the middle for not following Abby's choreography in the way Abby envisioned it should be.  Poor Brooke is the only one left, and Abby laughs at the thought that she's at the top of the pyramid.  Just kidding!  No one takes the top spot.  Brooke will be in the group routine, and Kendall gets a solo called "Owe You Nothing."  Abby reminds her and her mother that she owes them nada.  Nia also gets a solo.  Chloe is thrilled to get the final solo, and Maddie's face drops.  The group number will have hats as props, and Abby warns that if anyone drops a hat, they will be off the team.


In the viewing room, Melissa shares that Abby never apologized for her hateful remarks about Melissa and her husband(s).  Meanwhile, Cathy is plotting against Abby with an all boys team.  She wants these boys to know that she is out for blood when it comes to beating Abby this week.  She has her own apple themed pyramid, and one of the fathers (Dance Dads?) thinks that it doesn't promote teamwork.  Cathy doesn't care as long as she beats ALDC.  The top of her pyramid is a secret weapon…a boy that Abby once recruited for her studio. 

The group number is called Pink Lemonade, and poor Maddie looks like she's going to fall apart.  Holly wonders how Melissa is holding up, and she breaks down saying she regrets participating in the walk-out in support of Kelly.  She doesn't think Abby will ever forgive her or her girls for betraying her.  Holly reminds Melissa that Abby turns on anyone at any time.  It's kind of her schtick. 


Jill is so excited about Kendall's solo that she hires a designer to create an over the top costume for her daughter…disregarding Abby's mantra that the costume doesn't make the dance.  Regardless, Kendall is super excited, and Jill doesn't see what the big deal is if she's willing to pay for it.  Back in the studio, the girls are rehearsing with their hats.  Abby has her dog drinking out of the water fountain, and she informs Jill that she's going to be the dog-sitter for the afternoon.  Jill feels honored to have taken Melissa's place as Abby's head butt kisser.  Jill questions the other mothers about her costume designer.  Christi warns her that Abby isn't going to be a fan of this news.  Jill continues to work her way up the mom pyramid by helping out in the costume shop.  Christi is upset that Abby is spending more time with Nia than with ChloeHolly recommends that Christi say something to Abby, but Christi blows off her friend's advice.  Abby reveals to the moms that Cathy's Candy Apples will be at the competition, and she's sure as hell not going to come in fourth in front of Cathy.

The moms are preparing their daughter's costumes for Abby's approval.  Jill has a slight problem.  Kendall's isn't ready yet since she just ordered it a day earlier.  Kelly can't believe Jill would be so dumb as to defy Abby's costume commands, but she's pretty good at disobeying Abby altogether, which is why Melissa now feels like the low mom on the totem pole.  The moms notice that the girls are dancing very stiffly in order to keep their hats on their heads.  Jill thinks Abby is overreacting to the importance of not losing a their hats.  She's thrilled about Kendall's solo, but she's also concerned with how harshly Abby is criticizing her daughter.  In Ohio, Cathy has hired a choreographer to create an amazing hip hop routine for her boys troupe.  That one kid has some fabulous break dancing skills.


Abby is screaming at Kendall throughout the group number and then takes away her solo since she is without a costume.  Kendall is in tears, and Jill pulls her from the studio.  The other mothers sit in silence, although Melissa is totally thrilled that Jill is now on Abby's shiz list.  Abby screams at the group that the girls rallied around Brooke and Paige when they stormed out yet no one seems to care that Jill has taken Kendall home.  She really is so wretched to these kids.  Jill can't believe that Kelly, at the very least, didn't have her back.  Abby allows Jill to bring Kendall on the bus because she realizes how badly the little girl wants to dance…not that she's nice about it. 

In New Jersey, Abby is freaking out about the arrival of Cathy and her Candy Apples.  Abby goes to welcome her nemesis, and she is shocked to see all the boys.  Abby gifts them all with ALDS t-shirts, and touts how many male dancers she has working professionally.  Christi knows that the girls are going to be under even more pressure now that Cathy has her boy dancers.  Waiting in the wings, Kendall, Nia, and Chloe all build up each other before their solos.  These girls could teach the moms and Abby a lesson or twenty.


Nia performs her lyrical number first, and she's extremely expressive.  Holly is very proud, but Abby just hopes it scores high enough to beat Cathy's kids.  Kendall's acrobatic routine is next, and Abby actually thinks she does a great job.  For me, Chloe's dance takes the cake.  When it's time for the solo awards, Kendall garners third and neither Chloe nor Nia place.  Abby is beyond angry.  She is mortified that her girls "choked" in front of Cathy, and she is putting major pressure on the group dance.  Cathy's boys are pretty amazing although they aren't always in sync.  The judges and crowd go crazy over the little one's break dancing ability.  Pink Lemonade is a precious number…until Chloe loses her hat.  Christi feels helpless about Abby's impending tirade.  Abby comes in screaming about how Chloe humiliated her, so Christi packs up her stuff, gathers her daughter, and she hits the road.  Cathy's boys end up losing to Abby's girls by one-tenth of a point.  I am so sick for poor Chloe who is cabbing it to the airport with her mom.  Shame on you, Abby.

Next week, Abby and Cathy get into a verbal altercation, and Abby and Jill get into a water bottle spewing, purse swinging fight with the leader of the Candy Apples.  Grown ass women.  Geez.


[Photo Credit: Lifetime]

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