Season three of Duck Dynasty with the Robertson family is turning out to be everything I'd hoped for and more.  We're treated to an endless supply of Si's one-liners, and Jase is still doing everything in his power to get under brother Willie's skin.  After all of these years, Phil is still hot for Kay, and there is no question as to how much love this family shares.  Wednesday nights are great.

Last night's first episode begins with the boys comparing their beards in the warehouse.  Who has the longest beard?  Who has the thickest beard?  Don't know?  Let's ask Si who has an arsenal of beard jokes which reference 60 Minutes, Dora the Explorer, and Chewbacca.  Si rules.  Willie is going out of town for the day, and he needs his boys to make sure that business continues as usual.  All Willie asks of Jase is that he signs for a package at 4 o' clock.  We'll see how this goes!

At Phil and Miss Kay's, their grandson and his friend come by, but they are unaware that Phil has plans to teach them them the ways of the world.  The boys are clueless as Phil whistles his words of wisdom.  Meanwhile, in the warehouse, the guys are debating their favorite duck blinds to hunt.  Si chuckles about Willie's absence, and Jase is happy to appease whatever dare his uncle is introducing.  The men pile into Jase's truck and head out into the woods.  The guys are in the wilderness debating wrestling lore.  I adore the fact that Si travels with his own gallon of tea.  Si spots a black cat cross the blind, and Jase finds it hilarious that most people think that black cats are bad luck.  Si claims it's a panther.  Wait, did the guys lock themselves out of the truck?



They totally did.  Si equates their situation to the plot of Terminator 2.  Jep calls Si a blame shifter, and all of they guys blame Si for locking them out of the vehicle.  It's time to walk.  Jase knows that Willie won't entertain the plethora of excuses he's concocted if they don't get back to the warehouse before Willie arrives.  Back at Phil and Kay's, the grandson and his friend are dying to get out of their situation.  Unfortunately for them, Phil has a plan to toughen up these man children.  He is all about taking advantage of their brute strength to get his chores for the day finished. 

Jase and the warehouse crew are still trying to make their way back to Duck Commander.  Jase is hoping that he can play on Si's poor vision and love of black panthers by sending a shirtless Godwin off into the distance.  Nothing is lost on Si, or, as his 'Nam friends called him, "crazy eyes."  Jase is second guessing using Godwin as his visual to compete with Si's logic.  The boys keep walking…as they should.  At the house, Phil has the boys repairing his dock.  Those kids should have never tried to beat him at his own game.  Phil is famous for making sure his offspring isn't distracted by cheerleaders…keep hammering, youngins! 


Si and the gang make their way back to Phil's, and they are able to commandeer some vehicles back to the warehouse to meet Willie's package.  Jase arrives right on time to sign for a Willie bobble head.  What?  Jase realizes that it was just part of Willie's ploy to keep him at the office all day.  Regardless, Jase did what he set out to do.  Phil prays over the family meal, and we learn the lesson that was set out for us at the beginning of the episode.

The second installment begins with Jep showing off his amazing packed lunch with his family and co-workers.  His feast doesn't compare to Si's fabulous bologna sandwich.  Willie thinks that Jep needs to learn the importance of sharing such a great meal.  The boys are surprised to learn that Jep's wife killed a deer with a bow and arrow.  Jep can't help the fact that his brothers married city girls.  Saddened by his bologna sandwich, Si enlists the guys to dine at a local restaurant that focuses on "domo arigato mr. avacado."  Is he trademarking these lines?  If not, does he want a personal assistant that will do it for him?  #callmeiknowalittletrademarklaw

Willie and Jase are playing horseshoes while wives Korie and Missy watch.  The boys are horrified that their younger brother Jep has a wife who will hunt when their wives don't like being outdoors.  The wives laugh at the fact that their husbands are so insecure about their family's hunting ability.  Finally they come to an agreement.  If Jase and Willie's wives will hunt with them, Willie and Jase agree to watch any chick flick their wives can conjure. 


Kay is trying to clean up her living space with PhilSi is worried that they are going to find Jimmy Hoffa in her mess.  Seriously, should we sign up Kay for Hoarders?  She has to wear hazmat goggles to look through the mess.  Of course, Phil can morph her messiness into a sexual innuendo. 

Korie and Missy are out in the wild for their hunting tutorial.  The boys are appalled at how loud their ladies are with all of their questions.  Willie wonders why he gets in trouble for farting in church, yet he also gets in trouble for shushing his wife for yelling about the bugs in the woods.  He can't win.  The couples arrive at the duck stand, and Jase chastises his wife for wearing perfume on their hunt.  Jase begs Missy to roll around in the brush…like that's happening.  The boys find their citified wives to be super hot out in the wilderness. 


Kay and Phil are still searching for their lost blue prints (how did I miss that earlier?) in the umpteenth shed on their property.  Si loves walking down memory lane as they remember past duck calls…he can't wait to sell some of it on ebay.  The boys finally find the plans and Kay touts her hoarding skills for the victory.

Jase is feeling frisky out in the woods with his high school sweetheart.  The wives are impatient, while the brothers are second guessing trying to one-up Jep.  A deer urine mishap ensues.  Willie says that he's happy for the distraction….if Jase had found an teacup to hunt he'd be thrilled–anything to get him out of the duck blind with Korie and Missy!  The wives are grossed out by bugs and stench of the duck blind.  They prefer pedicures and body lotion to sitting in the forest.  The ladies decide to find their way back to civilization without the help of Jase and Willie.


The wives make their way back to truck, and Willie and Jase aren't far behind.  I love how Missy refers to "Jase" by his given name of Jason.  The husbands are impressed with their wives' abilities to make it back to the vehicle.  Jase and Willie tease their wives unmercifully once they get back to Phil and Kay's.  Phil jokes about his yuppy sons.  Jep is a man of few words, but he does tell his brothers that he lied about his wife being a deer slayer.  More Jep please!  Can I please have a place–just once–at the Robertsons' dinner table?  I adore everything for which this family stands.  I heart them.


[Photo Credit: A&E]

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