I don't even have words for Abby Lee Miller, and I have started to dread watching Dance Moms. My heart breaks for these little girls! New dance mom Kira and daughter Kalani have replaced Kelly, Brooke, and Paige, as Abby has kicked them out of the studio and banned them from the premises after Kelly broke her bump-it. Abby warns Kira that the moms can be vicious so she'd better have up her guard. Holly, Melissa, and Jill question how long Kira will be joining them, but they don't get any straight answers.
Not surprisingly, Brooke and Paige are at the bottom of the pyramid. Abby reminds everyone that they are no longer a part of the ALDC. Then why put them in the pyramid at all? Nia follows for messing up during the group number. Chloe rounds out the bottom, with Abby reminding her that usually when she does duets, she gets first place. Well, she would have gotten first had Abby not entered Maddie and Kalani at the last minute! Kendall is in the fourth spot because she was fine in the group dance and Jill kept her mouth shut. MacKenzie is in third, and Abby warns her to watch out because she's seen a lot of talent. Maddie is in the second spot, and her face says it all. Kalani is on top, which confuses the moms.
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Nia earns a solo because Holly was so quick to get the girls out of the dressing room while Kelly was attacking her. While Holly is excited for her daughter, she knows a solo will mean extra scrutiny from Abby. Maddie will be performing a duet with Chloe. Kalani will be dancing a duet with Kendall. Christi wonders if Chloe will be able to trust Maddie. Jill thinks it's unfair to place her daughter with the newest member of the group. MacKenzie will be going to Los Angeles to record two songs. What? Okay, whatever. The group number is very vaudeville. The moms notice that Abby is in a much better mood now that Kelly is gone. Melissa invites the moms over for wine and cheese. Jill jokes that they will be initiating the new mom. Christi
politely declines because she thinks Melissa is en effing liar. Holly knows that Melissa will be a friend up to the point that she chooses Abby over the friendship. She can't believe that Christi is shocked by this revelation. Christi is mouthing off about Melissa's multiple affairs and reminds her that she's got more dirt on her than a broom. I'm going to have to remember that one!
The moms convene at Melissa's house for some vino, and Jill is quick to talk about Christi not wanting to be part of the team. Holly believes that Christi feels like its her and Chloe against the world. Both she and Jill hope that Christi will look at Kelly's absence as a way to rise above the negativity. At the studio, MacKenzie is working on her song "Girl Party." She should stick to dancing. I hate to say something about a child–it's not that she can't sing, but she's just an okay singer. Maybe with practice? I can't carry a tune in a bucket, but I don't think MacKenzie is the next Selena Gomez. Of course, Abby comes in and crushes her dreams, saying she lacks personality and her competition would feel more comfortable after seeing her performance. At least I wasn't that harsh, right?
Kendall and Kalani's duet involves a giant frame prop. Abby is hoping that Kendall will dance up to Kalani's level, but Kendall can't do much right in Abby's eyes. Nia's poor solo is getting no attention from Abby, but Holly admits that Nia has resigned herself at getting little to none of Abby's help. During Maddie and Chloe's rehearsal, Abby wants the girls to pretend that Chloe has lied to Maddie and she is confessing to her friend. Wow. I hope Abby doesn't put in another bump-it! In the viewing room, Holly and Jill tell Christi that she shouldn't isolate herself from the group because the girls will notice and it could be detrimental to the team. Jill seems to have copied Abby's orange skin. Christi can only scream that Melissa is the biggest liar she's ever met. Good times!
Kira reminds Kalani that she needs to be perfect. In a very scripted monolog, Kalani explains to her mother that she's very worried about her duet because she's so much better than Kendall. It's not like dancing with Maddie. Kendall needs so many corrections from Abby, and it is taking time away from their rehearsal. The moms question Christi about how Kelly is doing. She remains tight-lipped about Kelly's situation given that if they are her friends, they can call her. I kind of agree. Holly and Jill miss having the girls at the studio, and the group dance seems incomplete without them. As Nia works on her solo, Abby is yelling out corrections. Holly tells the other moms that Nia wants to prove to Abby that she deserves a spot on the team. Abby switches the choreography and storms out when Nia doesn't pick it up immediately. Holly goes downstairs to find her daughter in tears, and she reminds Nia that what Abby says has absolutely no merit.
The ALDC arrives at the competition in Virginia. Melissa is helping Holly sew in Nia's headpiece. Holly is worried that Christi's behavior is making things difficult for the team. Before the girls head out to dance, Christi tucks under a portion of Nia's headpiece before Holly gives her a pep talk. Kalani and Kendall's duet is adorable, and Kendall totally holds her own. Likewise, Maddie and Chloe shine together. After they finish, Chloe can barely talk to Maddie…not out of meanness, but just out of sadness, I think. Nia's solo is beautiful, but her headpiece shifts slightly with her last move. After exiting the stage, Nia runs off crying. I want to cry with her. She sobs to Holly that it was her only chance to show Abby, and now all she'll focus on is the wardrobe malfunction.
Holly hopes that Nia can put this aside and focus on the group routine, and she's fully ready to take on the wrath of Abby for not better sewing the piece into her daughter's hair. However, when Abby enters the room, she's screeching at Christi that she is to blame for Nia's scarf slipping. Abby changes her tune to say that the headpiece isn't as big a deal as Nia not being able to handle the pressure of solos. Holly tries remind Abby that she barely rehearsed with Nia. Abby bellows that she isn't responsible for baby-sitting dancers. Not to leave Kendall out of her digs, Abby says it's weird to see a duet where she only wants to watch one of the dancers. Christi apologizes to Nia if her tucking the piece under had any part of her headpiece slipping. Nia knows it was just a fluke, and Holly is just happy to see Christi engaged in the group again.
Abby informs Kira and Kalani that she will be deciding her fate after watching the group number. It's absolutely adorable, and Nia out-faces all of her peers. At the awards ceremony, the moms are confused by the scoring. It seems Abby forgot to tell them that regardless of the number of dancers, everything in the same age group is lumped together. There aren't specific awards for solos, duets, etc. Chloe and Maddie's duet ties for second place in the junior division. The ALDC group routine garners the top price. Abby lays the praise on Kalani, and Kalani delivers her lines without a hitch. Abby pulls Kira aside to find out what the moms are saying about Kelly. Kira says they miss her, and Abby takes that opportunity to announce that Kelly was arrested for her horrible behavior…in front of the girls. Classy. I can't stomach this woman much longer.
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE? ARE KALANI AND KIRA A GOOD FIT?
[Photo Credit: Lifetime]