Were you prepared for that little twist on last night’s Mob Wives? Fraudalie? Ratalie? Who to believe? Why do they even care? That’s the biggest mystery! As the episode begins, Natalie Guercio is meeting Drita D’avanzo for lunch. Did Drita borrow that third eye cut-out sweatshirt from Tamra Judge? Big Ang arrives very fashionably late in long white coat that looks like it was stolen from a 70’s pimp or that abominable claymation creature in that Christmas show about the Land of the Misfit Toys. Is that Alpaca? Ang is rehashing the holiday party and how much Natalie DiDonato gets on her nerves. All Nat D. wants to do is bitch about First Natalie. Does she ever ask anything about Ang’s life? No. Ang doesn’t have time for that, and she reveals that New Natalie now has beef with Drita. She wants to talk to Drita about her inability to choice sides. No one likes a fence straddler.
Speaking of sides, the battle lines are clearly drawn as Karen Gravano and Renee Graziano convene at Fraudalie’s house to complain about Ratalie. Of course, everyone wants to discuss why Drita wasn’t in attendance at Natalie 2.0’s party. What’s with her loyalty to Original Natalie? Nat D. believed that Drita was no nonsense, but she’s clearly a flip-flopper. Renee admits that she’s finally in a good place with everyone and her friends can work out their issues on their own time. Finally, Renee is speaking some sense! Karen and New Natalie bond over how tough it can be to have younger boyfriends. Natalie finally had to ditch hers because he was too thirsty with other girls and she tended to get violent when they fought. She’s glad that’s over with, for sure! On cue, her ex-boyfriend bursts into the backyard and accuses her of lying to him. As they scream at each other, New Natalie starts pushing him and threatening him. Renee halfheartedly yells “you shouldn’t be doing this” from across the deck. After seeing Natalie D. go after her boyfriend, Renee is a tad worried about Drita, who is usually considered the fighter of the group. She may have some competition!
Okay, okay. When I’m wrong, I say I’m wrong (pours out some wine for the amazing Jerry Orbach), and I was wrong about the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo family. Once upon a time, I was the reality phenomenon’s biggest defender. Heck, I even made ‘sketti with butter and ketchup in a Country Crock container for a HCHBB viewing party! False. That was a giant lie. Not even I am that gross.
However, I did love this family’s dynamic. Mama June seemed extremely grounded in light of her crew’s sky rocketing fame (remember those trust funds?). Sugar Bear was (and honestly still is, or at least seems to be) a guy who just wants to do right by his common law (that marriage ceremony was bogus, right?) wife, their daughter, and his step-children. Alana Thompson, aka Honey Boo Boo herself, was everything you could have hoped for in a cheese-ball chomping, pageant preening, fart loving seven-year-old. Of course, when the news broke that June had left Sugar Bear and reconciled with the pedophile who had victimized her oldest daughter, I had to stomp on my rose colored glasses and throw them in the dump that family once foraged for our entertainment. Le sigh.
I’d like to channel my inner Australian and boycottAbby Lee Miller. Seriously, Dance Moms was never exactly a picnic to watch, but this is getting, wait, no, this IS absolutely ridiculous and almost unbearable. We last left off with a disastrous situation on the set of YouTube sensation Matty B’s music video. Melissa, when will you learn that you don’t sign a contract without reading it? Recording artist Mack Z isn’t getting billing credit! The producer pulls Melissa aside to share his conversation with Abby, and MacKenzie is going to be pulled from the video. NO! Abby bellows that all of her “clients'” cannot participate in the video. Holly interjects to remind Abby that the legal issue is that MacKenzie’s recording contract may render her ineligible according to Abby, but what’s wrong with the dancers? As their manager, Abby believes the moms must follow her lead.
Kira just wants her daughter to dance, as does some new mom whose name I won’t bother to learn…yet. Well, maybe all their daughters will ever be is just back-up dancers according to Abby. Jill caves to Abby’s bullying, and Abby cannot believe that Holly has once again stabbed her in the back. They are going against her team. Melissa thinks this is just another example of the other girls not getting the opportunities that her girls get because they refuse to follow Abby’s direction. Holly leaves the decision up to Nia, and Nia wants to dance in the video, as to JoJo and Kalani. The new moms recognize that Nia has the most to lose given that she’s an original team member.
So this is what we call a lunch time poll (anyone, anyone? Veronica?)…Say aliens land on the planet and say they’re going to blow it up in forty-eight hours the day you win the lottery, what would you do with the money? (I’d just slide that wad over to my father. After all, he is one of the top brokers in the state…) Wait, that’s not right. Let’s try again, simpler, this time. Say I asked you if you thought Kenya Moore was a thief–what would your answer be?
The Real Housewives of Atlanta star has been accused of stealing a few things in her day. She’s certainly stolen the hearts of several loyal fans. She’s also stolen the spotlight on several occasions. Anyone who has watched an episode of RHOA or caught a snippet of Celebrity Apprentice can attest to that! Speaking of Celebrity Apprentice, Kenya was recently accused of stealing competitor Vivica A. Fox’s cell phone during a challenge. There is certainly no love lost between those two. But did her sticky fingers take anything else during her time on the show?
Holy girl power, Bat(wo)man! Last night on Love & Hip Hop, the ladies were standing up for themselves, whether it was with unnecessarily gratuitous clothing optional model or pregnancy shoves. Estrogen was in the air for sure! Rich Dollaz is meeting with Jhonni about her recent apology turned smack down with Precious Paris. Jhonni hopes that Rich won’t find her at fault…after all, she came to the boutique at his request and with good intentions. However, if she’s going to take the heat, she hopes it comes delivered by Rich 50 Shades of Grey style. She warns him that if she’s put in that situation again, Paris will need a stretcher. Rich reminds her that she’s not a gangsta rapper, she’s an R&B performer. She’s a lover, not a fighter. She starts playing footsie with him under the table, and while Rich is adamant he wants to keep their relationship purely professional, he does invite her to sit in his lap for a proper lecture before following her home. Game over.
Ever since Yandy Smith decided that Mendeecees’ intern was her number one target, things have been a bit tense between the newly betrothed couple. She tells him that she met with Remy, and he’s frustrated that she won’t let him handle his own business. Yandy shares that Remy is trying to single-white female her by showing the Instagram outfit that Remy copied for their meeting. Mendeecees believes that Remy is just aspiring to be successful like Yandy, but he’s too tired to argue. He promises to have a talk with his new assistant about the importance of respecting his fiance.
I don’t know what’s up with this new Renee Graziano, but I like her! First she impressed me to no end with her humor and cooking skills on chopped. Now, her Instagram is like a love fest! I guess if I just ignore her behavior on Mob Wives, she’s a really sweet lady!
Of course, Renee has had beef with almost everyone ever cast on Mob Wives. She is still reeling from Natalie Guercio’s delicious betrayal last season, and she was once mortal enemies with Carla Facciolo. My how times have changed! Renee and Carla are now mending fences…so much so that Carla has appeared on two episodes of the show this season…with more to come, I’m sure! We have to get to the bottom of Drita D’avanzo’s sudden aversion to her former bestie!
I always say that nothing this family does surprises me, but it doesn’t mean I can wrap my head around their horrible antics and anything-for-fame mentality. In my mind, parents should be parents first, not friends, and certainly not people who see their kids only as dollar signs. In case you couldn’t tell, I’m talking about the Kardashian klan, and specifically Kris Jenner and her youngest daughter Kylie.
Obviously, given her older siblings “fame,” Kylie grew up a lot differently than other girls her age. Most seventeen-year-olds aren’t plumping their lips and jet setting around the world. Also, most seventeen-year-olds aren’t dating twenty-five-year-old rappers with a baby…and if they are, it isn’t with their family’s blessing. Yes, I know I don’t have kids, and yes, technically, at eighteen, she’s considered an adult. Sure, people will say that in a few years, that age difference won’t matter. My friends and I weren’t saints at seventeen, but our rebelliousness was more about splitting a wine cooler among three people or toilet papering the homes of boys (our age!) we thought were cute. Don’t think I’m just Katrashing Kylie because of her family…I felt the same way when my revered Lizzie Maguire was dating the Madden who’s now married to Nicole Richie. It’s just ew, and being famous isn’t a pass for ew. Even more ew? What Kanye West had to say about his young sister-in-law’s romance…although that doesn’t surprise me either.
Mona Scott Young deserves the slowest of slow claps. She is always trying to outdo herself in crazy drama. Unfortunately, she didn’t realize that when she cast Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta, she was going to create the perfect storm, one which even the franchise’s creator couldn’t live up to in the grand scheme of VH1.
But, gracious, she certainly keeps trying! In an effort to bring new life to the original Love & Hip Hop, Mona has brought in a few new cast members. None are so memorable as Baltimore native Chrissy Monroe. She dates music producer Chink Santana, she’s got long-standing beef with Erica Mena due to her past as an alleged madame career as a modeling mogul, and she’s got a suitcase full of wigs that leave Kim Zolciak envious. Well, maybe not, but the lady has some serious hair pieces!