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catherine-cooper

The first season of Southern Charm Savannah came to a conclusion last night, and I’m a more than a bit perplexed. There was a charity ball with zero attendance, but clearly the guest list was minimal at best if ten folks on a boat caused the colossal no-show. Additionally, there was a botched proposal, and if it was sincere, it was pretty sad. Other than that, we’ve made it through this not well thought out spin-off, and for that, we all deserve a mint julep (or a hurricane on River Street! OR BOTH!!).

Catherine Cooper heads to mentor Brandon’s house for champagne and cheese. It’s not going to take a lot of Brie for Brandon to chastise Catherine for not being committed to interior design. She admits to having a big fear of failure, and she has been coasting through life. Catherine is at a crossroads, and she doesn’t want to keep wasting her potential…whatever it is. Brandon jokes that maybe she just needs to settle into domestic bliss with Lyle McKenzie and their future brood, but that isn’t what Catherine has in mind. She tentatively believes she may be ready for the next step, but she looks like she may vomit as she says it.

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We’ve arrived! The season finale of Southern Charm was last night, and it didn’t disappoint, but I guess that’s what happens in Bizarro World. The episode begins with the crew continuing their trip in Key West to celebrate Cameran Eubanks‘ birthday. The girls and boys have separated to enjoy a spa day and jet skiing excursion, respectively. Craig Conover hopes to make peace with girlfriend Naomie Olindo, but she’s heading out of town early with Jennifer Snowden, citing his disrespectful behavior at the dinner that seemingly brought archenemies Kathryn Dennis and Landon Clements a wee bit closer. After reconciling his friendship with Shep Rose, Austen Kroll and Chelsea Meissner are working on their undefined relationship by para-sailing.

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Southern Charm Savannah, oh how you’ve tried. We’ve almost wrapped the first season with this spin-off, and it wasn’t as well received as I would have anticipated. Don’t get me wrong, I like the crew as a whole, but there’s just not that much to watch. If Ashley Borders wasn’t creating stories in her head, playing the victim, and managing to strip at any given time, we’d just be watching a group of wealthy thirty-somethings with a penchant for partying. Been there, seen that.

Last night’s episode begins with a trip to St. Simons Island. Jealous! Much to Hannah Pearson’s dismay, Louis Oswald is planning the ultimate tailgate at Hannah’s father’s house in St. Simons for the Florida/Georgia game. Being the most clueless boyfriend on the planet, he’s included Ashley on the guest list. Ashley is driving Nelson to the South’s biggest cocktail party while complaining that Hannah has a dress company and didn’t think to consult her about it. The nerve! Hannah feels awkward arriving at her family’s beach house. Since her dad married a woman close to her age, it doesn’t have the same memories as it does now. However, Louis has promised to be the host with the most alongside his potential future father-in-law. So he forgot the oysters–big deal. Louis wonders why this party has to be some reception-grade event on Hannah’s radar. What’s wrong with Natty Lite and some Fritos? When game time rolls around, there are still streamers to be hung and tables to be assembled. Both tasks fall on Hannah and her dad. As Hannah nags Louis about his duties, he is confused as to what is wrong. Napkins taken out of plastic wrap? He’s got it. Ice in coolers? Check. What’s so hard? As Hannah micro-manages Louis, her step-sister-mother and father joke about his demise.

Southern Charm recap

Last night’s Southern Charm was extra large and super charged. That’s the motto of Key West, right? It’s a mythical place where feuds are mended, insincere apologies abound, marlin shirts are couture, and dolphins swarm the shore line. Go ahead and plan your vacay–it’s a charming place, indeed!

As the episode begins, Mr. Belvedere Michael is washing Patricia Altshcul’s Bentley,Cameran Eubanks is foregoing a breakfast cocktail, and Craig Conover is teaming up with Gizmo to embroider some baby clothes for Cameran’s psychic predicted baby. Shepard Rose surprises Chelsea at her house, and she doesn’t seem nervous to see him, even after her rendition of events at the Commodore Club to Austen Kroll. She tells him not to judge her as she lounges around eating peanut butter right out of the jar. Shep wants to apologize if Chelsea thought he was trying to be inappropriate with her. Truth be told, he may have had a few of the feels for Chelsea, but he retreated before they could explore a potential relationship.

Tom and Luann D'Agostino wedding party

I don’t know about y’all, but the Countess has taught me everything I know about social graces. No, money really can’t buy you class. If she hadn’t shared that kernel of wisdom, I certainly wouldn’t have learned it from the bevy of reality stars that clog up my Bravo programming. Also, don’t be all uncool. Who wants to be uncool in the eyes of Luann de Lesseps D’Agostino? Not this girl, that’s for sure!

As you know, the Real Housewives of New York star tied the knot to her controversial beau Tom D’Agostino on the latest episode, proving, yet again, that money doesn’t buy class, but it can cause a middle aged woman to turn a blind eye to said new husband’s blatant shenanigans by going through with a very elegant wedding ceremony. And, might I add, what we know about elegance is thanks to Luann. It’s learned, my friend. Now, I’m going to pour out some of my Ramona Singer pinot for the Countess, as she is no longer, but what a great ride it was.

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On last night’s episode of Southern Charm Savannah, the crew is cleaning up the wreckage from Hurricane Matthew. While they can’t decide what was more devastating–the storm or that dinner party–Happy McCullough and Catherine Cooper are driving around assessing the damage. Happy admits that she was sickened by Nelson Lewis’ defense of his racist comments at the pre-Matthew dinner party, and Catherine is understanding…while giving Nelson Lewis the benefit of the doubt for just being an idiot.

Hannah Pearson‘s three sisters (one of whom is a Maggie Gyllenhaal clone) arrive from Atlanta and Denver for Louis‘ birthday celebration, and they dish on their parents’ divorce and their father’s subsequent random relationships. The split has been hard on the family, but it’s even more taxing now that their father has tasked his girls with bridging a friendship gap between him and their mother. Given the list of his recent dalliances and a description of their evening wear, I’m guessing that bridge is going to be

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Finally Southern Charm has tapped into some drama that has nothing to do with a hot-tempered twenty-something and an aging politician who likes the scent of cocaine a woman…well, many women! After last week’s episode, where Kathryn Dennis and Thomas Ravenel finally slightly buried the hatchet, the once feuding duo is leaving the relationship madness for their cast mates…for the most part, at least. Naomie Olindo and Craig Conover are still struggling their way through couple’s therapy, and Shep Rose has become an unwanted equilateral corner in a love triangle with Austen Kroll and Chelsea Meissner.

Cam calls Chelsea in hopes of a happy hour to fill her time while her husband is on call. Unfortunately, Chelsea is meeting Kathryn at a shop downtown to help finalize the wardrobe for her upcoming photo shoot with daughter Kensie. When offered an invitation, Cameran jumps at the chance–either she really hates being home alone, or she’s slowly warming up to the idea of hanging with Kathryn. What would Patricia say about this turn of events?

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Not even Hurricane Matthew could drown my sorrows as I watched last night’s Southern Charm Savannah. I’m really trying here, y’all! For the most part, I like the cast (save a couple). Lyle has some great one-liners, and Hannah Pearson and Happy McCullough seem nice enough. I think I’d like drinking wine with them, right? Then why can’t I get invested in this spin-off? Not even a crossover could help!

Last night’s episode resumes with the cast gathered at that heated dinner party. As Daniel Eicholz continues to school Nelson Lewis on his racial slur, Nelson feigns shock and offense. How dare Daniel quote what he said in his own home? Daniel counters that if Nelson ever hears him say something offensive, he has Daniel’s full permission to call him out on it. Nelson wasn’t being genuinely racist, he just meant the term in an allegorical sense. Allegorical? Happy is in tears, and Azam comes to her defense as he tries to educate Nelson on how his words affect others. Louis is rolling his eyes at Nelson’s ignorance, as Happy recounts how it feels to be the victim of racism because of her relationship with Azam. Lyle McKenzie leads the charge to end the dinner party, as Nelson storms out ahead of the crowd. Is he a racist? HELL DAMN NO!