Greetings, dear readers. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. TLC clearly wanted to prolong your celebration by giving you an extra hour of the premiere of Sister Wives for which you can be grateful. Twice the Kody Brown follicles, twice the teen wedding shenanigans! We’ve got double the Christine happy pills, Janelle frankness, and Meri passive aggression. Robyn was there as well. 🙂 Fix up a turkey sandwich with those amazing leftovers, and prepare to roll your eyes at the antics of the Brown family.
As the super-sized season begins, the Browns are ecstatic about Madison’s upcoming wedding which, in TV time, is two month away. Maddie asks Truely if she’ll be the flower girl. The wives joke about pulling off a traditional wedding given polygamist ceremonies are quiet and low key with minimal guests. Christine’s got jokes (they won’t be mothers-in-law, more like outlaws!), and everyone seems to be genuinely getting along on the velour sofa. Christine has clearly upped her meds given Mykelti’s news that she’s ready to marry her boyfriend of five months. She has to approach Kody before Tony asks for his daughter’s hand. She calls her husband, and Kody is prepared for the worst even though he’s very used to getting urgent texts and calls from his wives about something important. Christine regrets how her initial conversation went with Mykelti – she wasn’t excited or supportive.
Last night’s Dance Moms showcased the competition where Abby Lee Miller’s former elite team would be facing off against the minis, and, per the usual, ugliness and petty shenanigans ensued. Do we think she’s going to end up going to jail?
On the day of competition, the elite team squares off against the minis. Abby instructs the veteran moms to have their daughters write a list of why they hate her so much. Holly Frazier won’t stand to be spoken to in such a manner in front of the girls, and she ushers everyone into the venue. Jill Vertes uses Abby’s words against her, reminding her that everyone is replaceable. Abby is confident that her minis are better at their age and the elite team was back when they were six. The veteran moms question whether the mini moms are okay with Abby’s behavior and they are met with hemming and hawing from the newbies. Ashlee suggests that the women present a united front so Abby cannot treat their daughters badly. Before the competition, the elite girls are in good spirits and glad to be away from Abby and her meanness.
Congratulations are in order for Maddie Brush and the rest of her Sister Wives family! Maddie, who wed Caleb Brush in June after showcasing their engagement on the show, is pregnant with the couple’s first child and due in May of next year. It will be the first grandchild for Kody Brown and his second wife Janelle, with Robyn, Meri, and Christine as bonus grandmothers…not to mention a gaggle of aunts and uncles of all ages–seventeen and counting so far!
The timing couldn’t be more perfect with the latest season of Sister Wivespremiering this Sunday. If Kody can’t keep procreating, his older children can carry the torch (and perhaps the story lines) for the show. Now if only he can find a predecessor for those aging follicles…and a guarantee TLC will foot the bill for a multitude of future weddings!
Last night’s Don’t Be Tardy showcased a stressful time in the Zolciak-Biermann household. Teen angst was at an all time high. Kim and Kroy didn’t see eye-to-eye. Red solo cups were flung around with reckless abandon, and the phrase of all phrases was born (and continues to echo through my brain). Thank you, Bravo. Just thank you.
The episode begins with Kim and crew heading to an Atlanta studio. Kim has used Instagram to set up a dance lesson for Brielle, ChefTracey, and Shun. Everyone is wearing sexy heels, but poor Tracey is having a very hard time with her footwear. The lesson for today is some stripper dancing, and Kim is ecstatic that she can finally hang out with Brielle as besties and not just in the mother-daughter capacity. Not to mention, Kim loves some gyrating!
Is it bad that I’ve decided that yet another hour long Dance Moms episode means that something is right with the world? Perhaps that was Steven Collins’ plan all along with that slew of ninety minute ridiculousness! Either that, or I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Thirty Year Old Grandma!
On last night’s show, the veteran mothers made good on their threat to look elsewhere for training, and Abby Lee Miller threw yet another tantrum. It was pretty amazing, to be honest. In light of Abby’s legal woes and mounting erratic behavior, the women decide to rent out their own studio. The elite team is ecstatic, and Kira gifts the girls with a new team jacket. She’s enlisted a rival dance instructor and famed choreographer given the girls will be performing at a competition with the ALDC minis. Kalani Hilliker is thrilled to be working with Erin, and the entire team seems to have a renewed confidence. An added bonus? No pyramid!
Last night’s Don’t Be Tardy incorporated so many of our favorite reality shows into a single episode: Top Chef inspired dishes, a RuPaul’s Drag Race inspired game of bingo, and the language heard on any given installment of Mob Wives. It was pretty amazing.
We begin with Access Hollywood’s Anthony, who introduces Brielle Biermann to Liz Hernandez, and she is beyond impressed by the fact Liz interviewed Oprah–the world’s most famous interviewer becomes interviewee! As Liz inquires about Brielle’s education, Brielle dodges questions about college. Liz tells Kim’s mini-me that she got her start at a college internship. Not shockingly, this revelation doesn’t send Brielle into an application frenzy.
All of these women are ridiculous, in my opinion. I’d call them high school mean girls, but I think seventh grade girls are even meaner. Maybe that’s a better comparison. Each clique is so concerned with accusing the other of same exact things both are doing. I want to scream, “You’re all talking shiz! You’re all horrible friends! You all need a stylist who knows the meaning of the term ‘age appropriate’!” They’d do better just walking around holding a mirror up to one another because they are all the same: gossipy, insecure, hateful, and, of course, constantly the victim. Duh.
On last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, Kim Zolciak Biermann had to brave the mean streets of Los Angeles without the protection of chef Tracey husband Kroy Biermann. Of course, life of a wannabe momager isn’t always easy, and if she’s going to help skyrocket her twin Brielle and foul mouthed KJ into super stardom. Who do you think would win in a cage match between Kim and Kris Jenner?
The episode begins with Kim complaining about how often Tracey prepares fettuccine alfredo. Sure, Kim loves pasta and eats it everyday, but Kroy deserves something fancier in the kitchen. Tracey would love to get to use her actual culinary skills, but (shocker!), her talent is lost on the Biermanns. She admits that when she started cooking for the family, she made everything from scratch with fresh ingredients, but gave up when it became obvious that they preferred canned crap. Tracey cites being the Biermanns’ cook has been the most difficult experience of her career…and she was on Top Chef. Kroy insists he’s a foodie, although he’s never heard of exotic foods such as flank steak and tomatoes. Tracey promises to wow them with an upscale menu when they return from Los Angeles. They are taking Brielle to meet with Access Hollywood and have arranged for two huge casting agencies to fight over who will reap the benefits of KJ’s future celebrity.