I guess Santa is bypassing all of us this year. We’ve clearly been naughty. There can’t possibly be another reason why we’re being subjected to yet another season of Dance Moms…but we are! And I’ll be watching. I’ll consider my punishment for being so bad. However, no matter how naughty we’ve been, we’ll never ever be as horribly rotten as Lifetime’s cash cow Abby Lee Miller. It’s all an act, right? RIGHT??
For four long and tortuous seasons we’ve watched Abby belittle her young dancers while their mother snarked and plotted and forced us to take sides between bad and worse (I’m still not sure which is which!). Now (most of) the old gang returns thanks to their pesky iron clad contracts. Noticeably absent? Christi and Chloe (I don’t any will miss the former, but I’m so sad for the latter) who bid farewell after Abby’s constant bullying caused Chloe’s love for dance to fade…not to mention Abby making fun of her ocular condition. Returning? A very defeated looking Nia and an equally downtrodden Holly, Mack-Z, golden child Maddie and their mom Melissa, as well as Kendall and Jill, who Abby chastises for being a horrible mother more than once in the thirty second teaser. Good times! The twist? Christi and Kelly plotting to take down the ALDC. The show is back on Lifetime Tuesday, January 6th at 9PM/ET. You know I won’t be able to not watch!
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Oh, the progression that is Mob Wives! The students have become the teachers. Just a few short seasons ago, some of these women were one bitch slap from an assault charge, and now those same ladies are the voices of reason. That’s growth, y’all!
As we return to the scene of the rat race, er, girl fight, Karen Gravano is shoulder checking Natalie Guercio into a brick wall. Kudos to Karen for an often under-utilized move! Next year, poor Big Ang will be celebrating the one year anniversary of the time that the bar’s seven year anniversary was one upped by a spandexed Natalie trying to assert her toughness. Bystanders quickly intervene, and Drita D’avanzo likens it to better than cable. Storm wonders why his girlfriend had to go after Natalie after London already admitted (and hugged it out regarding) all of her faults. At home, Drita is excited that things are going so well with Lee. While he still won’t appear on the show, they burn through their cell phone minutes. His girls adore having him home, and he’s happy to play tutor to his two daughters. Lee admits that it’s hard being on the outside, and the pair is working so much that it’s hard to make time together. He urges her to make plans for an upcoming date night.
Poor Kim Richards. the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star is trying to get her life back on track, but she keeps straddling hurdles, especially when it comes to her beloved pit bull Kingsley. As you know, Kim gave Kingsley away after attacking a friend as well as her niece Alexia. Kim has been heartbroken over the chain of events, and now she’s facing a legal battle from Kay Rozario over the attack.
This makes me sad on so many levels. It was clear how much Kim and Kingsley loved one another. I have a dog (thankfully one who isn’t easily provoked), and I have been attacked by a friend’s dog (thankfully nothing that a few stitches couldn’t mend), and it’s hard on all sides. I certainly felt for my friend who felt terribly for her dog’s behavior. That said, the dog had a long history of “being protective” to the point of attacking. Also, I hope that people don’t automatically look to the breed for blame. Anyone who has ever had a pit for a pet (I haven’t but would in a heartbeat) know they are, as a whole, some of the sweetest, most loving animals. Okay, I’ll stop Sarah McLaughlin-ing y’all and get down from my soap box. Let’s get an update on that lawsuit, shall we?
Hey, remember when Teresa Giudice owed the government a ton of money in creditor restitution and she spent her last few weeks in the free world spending cash with wild abandon? Well, the Real Housewives of New Jersey star wants to set the record straight with her fans. She isn’t spending nearly as much cash as the media is reporting.
Case in point? Tre isn’t bank rolling G-to-the-IA’s latest pop music venture. Perhaps the eldest Giudice daughter is being funded by her (maybe?) estranged aunt Melissa Gorga? You know she’s jel as hell of these tweens’ swag and hoping to get some tips!
So last night was the return of Love & Hip Hop. Some old favorites returned (along with some of the more unsavory characters) along with a new crew. Joe Budden is gone (at least for now). I’m not sure how I feel about this! I am happy that Mendeecees is out on bail, and Yandy Smith is over the moon to have her fiance back in the free world. Speaking of couples, Erica Mena and Cyn are back together and sharing Chipotle (at least for now). Erica’s even made her breakfast in bed in hopes of convincing her to co-habitate. Cyn is still a bit jealous over Erica’s recent on-air kiss with Lil’ Bow Wow…little does she know! Peter Gunz and Amina Buddafly are back together and expecting a baby girl. Amina is still blinded by love and stupidity for still being with this jack leg. At the ultrasound he mistakes the baby’s leg for a “giant penis” just like his. Good gracious. Amina questions Peter’s recent outings with his sons…he drops his son off at school and then doesn’t return until late at night. #redflag
We meet Diamond Strawberry, and she’s an aspiring model. Oh, and she’s also the daughter of famed baseball player Darryl Strawberry. Diamond wants to pursue her dreams in New York (how else is she going to be on this franchise), but her Los Angeles based family is less than supportive. It’s a sudden and drastic move (per Diamond), but she’s hoping it will bring her closer to her music producer boyfriend Cisco. Cut to Cisco who is in town to wine and dine Diamond and talking about his hustle and his connections. The couple complains about how difficult their long distance relationship is, and Diamond is happy to move to New York after dating for two years. Wait what? Cisco likes the status quo. Sure, Diamond is his one and only…when he’s with her in L.A., but he’s enlisted a “don’t ask, don’t tell” clause in their relationship, and he needs Diamond to abide…and stay on the West Coast.
When people have money to throw away, why don’t they throw it at those in need and not at those already swimming in it? Also, what is the term for a person who gets paid to go on dates? Kim Kardashian hasn’t even been married to Kanye West for a year, and she’s already considering stepping out with another man…if the price is right.
Apparently a Saudi Arabian prince would like an evening out on the town with Kim, and you know Kris Jenner isn’t going to let her turn down his advances…or his cash. You won’t believe how much he’s offering her!
Well, I can’t unsee what I just saw, that’s for damn sure. When are those crazy kids going to learn that nothing on the Internet EVER goes away, and posting naked pictures is always gong to be a terrible idea. Someone is going to see it and make sure all of us innocent bystander do too. Of course, in this case, the irresponsible party is not a teen, but Real Housewives of Orange County’s OG, Vicki Gunvalson. And I thought Instagram didn’t allow nudie pics…
Poor Vicki was attempting to capture a moment for posterity…that moment being her joy over a gift of swanky headphone’s from Bravo’s Andy Cohen. Unfortunately for Vicki, she took the photo as she was blow drying her hair…topless. Silly Vic didn’t even realize when she posted it that you could see her naked reflection in all it’s glory behind the headphones. Oops! Of course, she quickly deleted the picture from her account, but not before thousands of followers captured the the naughty screenshot!
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First, my apologies for the tardiness of the Mob Wives recap. Someone forgot to set the season pass on her DVR. Second, holy craziness, y’all! They are going all out with the drama this season and we’re only two episodes. Wowsers.
Last night began with Karen Gravano in a music studion. No. Just no. Please tell me she’s not making a record! She reveals that she’s ready to move back to New York so she can be closer to Storm and that her daughter is ready to make the move with her. Renee Graziano stops in for a visit, and thankfully we learn that Karen is just listening to music…not making it. The women rant about Drita D’avanzo wanting to crack Renee’s skull because of a rumor started by Natalie Guercio that Renee didn’t even say! What’s worse? Natalie is total cop-caller. You gotta hate a cop caller! Karen reveals that Storm ran into Natalie’s boyfriend London at a night club, and they had a total man conversation about the girls’ drama. I imagine that’s close…I bet they ran into each other at a strip club, Storm bought London a shot, they dished about the rack on the dancing girl while playing a game of “My girlfriend’s crazier than your girlfriend.”
Over drinks, Natalie and London are rehashing Karen’s rat lifestyle. I am so glad I didn’t self-impose a drinking game with the road rat, because I’d be wasted after those fifteen seconds. London reminds Natalie that they are going to have to see these people given they’re on the same show, and he begs her to take the high road. He’s not bothered by Storm. Natalie talks a big game about how she isn’t scared of Karen, but she also used the phrase “beefin’ on social media” so I just can’t take her seriously.