Reality Tea

Yolanda Foster book deal

Despite her crumbling marriage and her questioning co-stars, there’s no doubt in my mind that Yolanda Foster enjoyed every second of attention she got this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

#NotSoInvisibleSmirk #RoadToVictory #ChronicFameWhoritis #ThereIsNoCure

Yolanda live-tweeted during the reunion (because, attention), thanking Eileen Davidson for being a “good friend” and shading her doubting co-stars for not visiting her when she “dropped off the planet” because of Lyme disease.

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Scheana Marie & Mike Shay

Happy 4/20 from Scheana Marie stoner!? According to her neighbor, the Vanderpump Rules star’s apartment emits so many weed fumes he’s getting a contact high and has now filed a lawsuit against her. Whatever happened to Shay’s sobriety? 

According to court documents filed by the neighbor, Scheana and Shay’s “weed parties” are so out of control (and so frequent), that living next door to her is affecting his family’s quality of health! To misquote Mr. Rogers, Dontcha be my neighbor!

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rhobh-reunion-eileen

Last night was the kickoff of the three part reunion for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and it didn’t disappoint, despite being The Yolanda Show. Eileen Davidson has much to say about this episode, throwing out digs at Lisa Vanderpump and Kyle Richards, and sharing her empathy for Yolanda’s journey.

Eileen starts off sharing her true compassion for Yolanda Foster. “I’m deeply sorry for the pain that Yolanda endured during the first part of the reunion. Clearly she did not understand that her illness had become its own storyline to such an extent. I was disgusted and saddened and felt nothing but empathy for her as I watched her try to figure out what to believe. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: That chick is one strong woman. I have nothing but mad respect for her.” 

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rhonj-jim-marchese-amber-marchese

Jim Marchese’s flight plan was derailed last night when he was ejected off an airplane in L.A. and arrested for domestic violence after allegedly grabbing Amber by the throat and making threats to hurt her.

The former Real Housewives of New Jersey stars were aboard a flight heading out of LAX on a red eye flight when an incident reportedly occurred involving Jim and Amber and they were thrown off the flight and Jim was arrested. The police shared with E! News, “At the request of officers, a male suspect and a female victim left the aircraft. Additional questioning revealed the suspect had grabbed the victim by the throat and made threats against her. Suspect James Marchese was arrested and transported to LAPD Pacific Division where he was booked.” Jim was charged with felony domestic violence.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I never thought I’d say this but the best thing about last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion was Erika Jayne-Girardi patting the puss. Aside from that it was all journeys all the time from the Yolanda Foster Files, which has more confusing story lines than The X Files (which actually isn’t too much of a stretch in the weirdness department!).

Lisa Vanderpump is wearing battle armor designed by Tom Ford. Initially it sounds like he made it for her, specifically, but then Andy notices Erika was wearing “the shirt version” in her interview talking head. The color looks better on LVP. Not wanting us to forget that she’s chronically ill – for even a moment!!! – Yolanda’s dress resembles bandages and medical gauze. I’m surprised she wasn’t wheeled out on a stretcher with Daisy insisting Glam Squads cause co-infections. Maybe her seat on the couch reclines? 

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Stephanie Hollman and Brandi Redmond

To me, Stephanie Hollman comes across as a spineless people pleaser – not to mention a bit of a ditz – on Real Housewives of Dallas. But I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised by her blog this week. Stephanie makes a lot of good points while defending her bestie, Brandi Redmond, and calling out LeeAnne Locken.

Stephanie expresses her appreciation for the Mad Hatters luncheon, adding, “I do not mind splurging on clothes, jewelry, or a great handbag that I can wear or use for other events but, I cannot bring myself to spend thousands of dollars on a hat that I will only wear for 2 hours. Brandi and I thought it would be a cute idea to make our own hats for this event. I was excited to do an arts and crafts hat project with Brandi. I knew it would be fun and give us a chance to catch up on everything that happened at Marie‘s cocktail party. Also, I felt the need to come clean about writing LeeAnne an apology email and was nervous on how Brandi would take it.”

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rhobh-kyle-001

I wasn’t even in Dubai with the Housewives, but even I was feeling the tension as I watched the Beverly Hills ladies on their Dubai trip. I don’t know about you, but I was extremely uncomfortable the entire time. And apparently there was even more drama than we got to watch on TV. Kyle Richards shared secrets about the plane ride home from Dubai that did not make the cut for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

I figured that the ladies would have been worn out from arguing about the same exact thing over and over again, but I was wrong. Apparently they could not even sit next to each other on the plane ride home without coming to blows, so Kyle decided to to take things into her own hands to try and prevent even more craziness from occurring.

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dance moms mackenzie maddie

Wait, I’m confused…Dance Moms is going to go on without Maddie? Do you hate us that much, Phil Collins? In the wake of Melissa’s announcement, the ALDC team wants to soak up the last few weeks they have with Maddie and MacKenzie. While they’re obviously sad to see them leave (at least the girls are), it’s clear that everyone is excited for what’s to come in Maddie’s skyrocketing career. Jill believes that even though she’s not showing her true feelings, Abby Lee Miller is secretly seething over the news. In other new, Jill is a candidate for MENSA. 

At pyramid, Abby rakes her team over the coals for a second place group number, but it’s a step up from not placing the week before. JoJo is on the bottom, and she jokes that she’s been on the bottom a lot lately. This child’s attitude is everything, but Jessalyn objects to JoJo’s placement–she worked hard and did well last week! Abby rips JoJo’s picture from the pyramid, yelling, “We’ll move her!” before placing her at the top of the pyramid and laughing. JoJo is thrilled. Jessalyn is thankful Abby didn’t throw her daughter’s head shot on the ground and stomp on it. If I were everyone in the studio, I’d be slowly backing away…it’s clearly a sign that Abby’s about to go totally loco. Brynn is now the bottom-most dancer for not dancing, with MacKenzie on her heels for not showing enough emotion in her duet with Nia. When MacKenzie tears up, Abby warns her not to be a crybaby. Emotions are only for the stage! Speaking of, Nia’s dancing was emotional and beautiful, but only third rung of the pyramid awesome. Kendall, Maddie, and Kalani make up the second tier in that order. She praises them all.

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