Reality Tea

Ariane Bellamar Beverly Hills Nannies

“What? The paparazzi are taking my photos as I sit here posed casually relaxing on this rock on the beach?” Oh Ariane Bellamar of Beverly Hills Nannies, you fit right in among the reality television famewhores who’ve come before you.

Ari was snapped this week as she headed out to Malibu beach to frolic while her nanny, Amber Valdez, was probably back at the house with her daughter, Emma, cleaning the animal cages.

I don’t know about you guys, but I got a little sucked into this new show by complete accident and now it’s my not-so-secret guilty pleasure.  Depending on how it does, we may have to add this to the maybe list for recapping in season 2.

Have you been watching? What do you think so far?


Ed Swiderski and Jaclyn Swartz celebrate Reid Rosenthal‘s Bachelor Pad boot. “On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m on cloud nine,” says Jaclyn. What does that even mean? It’s a good thing she’s so pretty.

Chris Harrison crashes the after party, bringing surveys for the exhausted and drunk Bachelor Pad players to fill out. Jaclyn thinks these surveys might have something to do with the next day’s challenge. Michael Stagliano is like, “Oh, man, I’ve seen this train wreck before.” My thoughts exactly! Where’s the popcorn?!

Kalon McMahon reads some of the questions – Who’s the ugliest? Who’s the smartest? Who’s the fattest? He says, “So, pretty much, every answer is either me or Erica Rose.”


I think we all knew this was going to happen. Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada filed for divorce from Chad Johnson this afternoon.

Evelyn filed divorce papers in Florida today, stating that her marriage to the NFL player was irretrievably broken after she found a receipt for condoms and the argument that followed became physical, with her being treated for facial lacerations.  I guess there’s no box to check for “head butting a$$hole showed his true colors”?   According to TMZ, it should be a quick divorce since they were married for only about 6 weeks and they signed a prenup.

So, by my count (which could be off, it has been a long day!) – 42 days?  Do you think Kris Jenner is fuming that Evelyn just stole the shortest reality TV marriage crown from her Kimmie?   I shouldn’t make light of it because the reason behind Evelyn’s divorce is MUCH different than Kim’s.


It is a rarity to watch an episode of Real Housewives of New York and have any idea what is going on. With the constant insertion of Pinot Singer‘s insanity, I often find myself staring at the TV, mouth agape, simply wondering what the eff?

I generally put Sonja Morgan in the category of ‘nice person under duress’… I’ve pondered whether or not she has Stockholm Syndrome. My pondering is over… the former Mrs. Morgan is now co-captain on the batshit crazy train and headed straight to the asylum. I only hope the drugs are as strong as the delusions.

So last night I’m pretty sure viewers were left with many questions, the most important of all being: How is Sonja friends with a supposed super high-end important NY society people and who the hell let Pinot invade a party with her bad behavior, gross wine, and twenty-years past cute cocktail attire? Only a crazy person would allow that to go on. Where is the Sonja that demanded Alex McCord, her hideous dress, and her equally hideous manners get out of her house? More on all of this later, but first let’s start with Carole Radziwill‘s Christmas dinner.


The crazy train of drama keeps rolling for Basketball Wives star Evelyn Lozada and her soon-to-be ex husband Chad Ochocinco Johnson.

After getting into a physical fight over the weekend, which ended in Evelyn fleeing to the neighbor’s house and Chad winding up in jail, Evelyn has reportedly moved out of their home and is planning to press charges against her husband of less than 6 weeks. Evelyn reportedly told the police officers who took her statement that she intends to press charges against her husband, the recently fired Miami Dolphins wide receiver.


Ahhh… Kardashians! It must suck when every person of importance or A List magnitude hates you. Oh, well – they can just soldier on pimping their wares and products that I suppose someone, somewhere maybe buys. I mean someone is buying this right?

Anyway, exciting times in K-Kountry! Kourtney Kardashian recently took to her website to announce that the Kardashian Kollection is making its international debut. That’s right they’re taking their polyester, bedazzled, besquined, leopard print harem pants and schmattas to the UK. God save well – everyone! Does the Queen know about this great injustice?


Sometimes, just sometimes, keeping things to yourself can do a world of good. For instance the ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey could maybe, just maybe, not announce their every breath, snark, slight, and petty offense on Twitter. I mean they do realize lots of people see it don’t they? Which is the point, I know, but still c’mon. Quit selling your dignity for gossip.

So in the latest infraction heard round the world? interwebs? apparently Sunday was Antonia Gorga‘s birthday (another one?) and the Gorgas didn’t have a party because they may or may not ever have them.

Melissa Gorga says Antonia didn’t want a party cause she wants to go to some amusement park instead. But that’s not the point, apparently Aunt Teresa Giudice was accused of barely recognizing Antonia’s blessed day because she tweeted a happy birthday.


Photo Credit: WENN

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