Jersey Shore Recap: Jersey Whores?

Last night’s Jersey Shore wasn’t too eventful. There is cake baking, pranks, doing sex, and a pair of suspenders that Jenni tries to pass off as a dress. Thankfully, there was also GTL.

Jenni and Roger are still fighting about her trust issues, but they seem to work through it on the duck phone. Jenni has to swallow her pride. Deena is quick to put her in her place as well, stating that she was acting like a brat.

Deena feels badly that the meatballs ditched out on work to get drunk. At Sammi’s suggestion, Snooks and Deena decide to make boss Danny an apology cake. After worrying that they put the cake into the oven for too long, Deena checks on it and realizes the pan with the batter is still sitting on the counter. Once it’s actually baked, they decorate it for Danny with meatball love.


The next morning, Rawn wakes up Sammi and Deena for work. He tells them he thinks there must be a mouse in the house as there has been a corner piece cut off of the cake. Deena remembers that a very puffy Situation was up when they went to bed, so he is the prime suspect. Ronni asks Mike if he ate the cake. A sleepy Mike would never do such a thing. He hates that he’s always guilty until proven innocent in the shore house. At the Shore Store, Danny gives Deena the brush off until she presents him with the half-eaten cake. He thinks it is adorable–it appears that all is forgiven.

On her break from work, Deena decides to get an airbrushed sleeve tattoo. It looks awful awesome! Back at the store, the employees and Danny decide to have a cake party. Rawn comments on how weird it tastes and smells. When Deena leans in to smell Danny’s piece, he shoves it in her face. Sneaky! Now, apparently, all is forgiven.

Unfortunately for Snooki, it’s not time to GTL because she has such a bad UTI. Jenni is taking her to the doctor. Thankfully we learn that she does not have any rectal bleeding. Pheww. I mean, seriously? The doctor prescribes an antibiotic, and Snooki is worried that she won’t be able to drink while on the medication. The doctor tells her it would likely be fine for her to have one drink. She plans to make it a strong one, of course.

Mike heads off to work solo because he can’t find Nicole and Jenni. Danny is livid…Snooks was supposed to be making up for ditching her last shift with Deena. The Situation all but throws them under the bus. Danny calls the shore house where Vinny informs him the girls are at the doctor to take care of Snooki’s UTI. Is nothing sacred among these people? Pauly can’t believe the girls didn’t so much as call. When they arrive at work an hour late, Danny has Nicole doing hard labor. Jenni asks Mike, yet again, if he’s the cake culprit. No, he’s on a diet, but why doesn’t anyone trust him? Geez.

Back at home, Pauly envelopes Deena in a bear hug and confesses that he ate the cake. Deena apologizes to Mike, but the damage is done. He is determined to bring out the Mean Mike very soon. The Situation invites his friend Bobby out to the shore. He is disappointed that the Inch Unit is still in Florida. It looks like he’ll have to put off his diabolical plan to ruin Snooki for yet another night.

The gang heads to the clerb with Vinny deciding he’s going to be a mayjah playa. It’s Mike’s lady Paula’s birthday at midnight so everyone starts taking shots. Snooki is worried about her antibiotics for a nanosecond, and then she proceeds to get super wasted. For her birthday, Pauly is kind enough to allow Paula to have camel toe. The ever thoughtful Mike gives her the gift of birthday sex. Paula and Mike discuss their pseudo-relationship. How romantical.

Mike, Sammi, and Snooki head to work, while Pauly and Vinny go on the ultimate guy date. GTL! They head to eat at Muscle Makers (what?) where Vinny loses the car keys. They are so cute together.

Deena talks to her crush Joey. They are planning on meeting up at Jenks. Pauly is very disappointed in his roommates. Snooki plans to stay home to clean (sure), while Jenni and Mike are asleep. The rest of the roommates are excited for yet another night on the town. Rawn gets super drunk, and Sammi finds it uber-hilarious. Back at the house, Mike and Snooki are drinking together. Why is he wearing sunglasses? He tries to convince Snooki to reenact the whipped cream scene from Varsity Blues. Snooks wants to go out instead. Oh, and she can’t speak “clock language” which may sadly be, the funniest part of the episode.

Back at Jenks, Deena finds her shore hook-up Joey. All the roommates go to hang out back at the house. Rawn heads straight to bed. Pauly feels the need to play a prank on Deena, so he proceeds to gather all the dirty dishes, and the blender and put them in her bed so she and Joey will have a nice surprise. Somehow he manages to turn things around and make the meatball think he’s mad at her. Pauly is cracking up as Deena cleans up the mess and apologizes to him. He is such a trip!

A drunk Snooki introduces herself to Joey, and Jenni asks if he plans to do sex with Deena. They question whether Joey has a condom and begin railing him about Deena’s crush. The pair heads off to bed, and a bored Snooki wants to go watch them go at it. Because that isn’t weird. At all. Jenni tells her to wait five minutes so it won’t be awkward. Yeah, those five minutes should clear up any awkwardness of watching your friend do it with some random. Deena doesn’t seem to care, and thankfully Snooki just stumbles to her own bed. The next morning, Deena calls a cab for Joey. She has a full blown crush. Sammi is a believer that you can find love at the Jersey Shore. Deena has thrown out her back from her mattress antics, and Pauly is so proud that she hurt herself Jersey turnpiking. I bet her parents are as well.

The Unit has returned from Florida, so the Situation is hoping to put his plan into action. Jionni must know the truth about his hook-up with Snooki! Get over it already! JWoww is dressing for the club in what appears to be a swatch of lycra, some chains, and a shoelace. She is excited to answer the door when Roger arrives. He loves her “handkerchief and thread.” They are ready to put the fight behind them and have a fun night. Wearing that? She’ll be lucky not to get arrested.

Karma is insane. People are getting arrested left and right. Jenni is worried that her dress may pop open if she has to fight someone (what?) so she is looking for a shirt to put on over it. Roger doesn’t want Jenni to fight, but she feels uncomfortable being in such a crazy environment dressed as she is. If anyone starts something with her, he’ll take care of it. As if on cue, some guy grabs Jenni and Roger throws a punch.

Next week, the gang goes fishing out on the pier, and the meatballs drift off into the ocean on a raft never to be heard from again. Shockingly, Jionni and Snooki get into a fight.