Survivor Recap: Make 7…Up Yours

Last night’s Survivor was a tad boring, if I do say so myself.  I can’t keep up with legitimate, semi-legitmate, and totally false alliances.  Who knew I’d be wishing Colton Cumbie was around to liven up this purely strategic mess?  I take that back…I’m glad he’s gone, but the remainder of this season is going to drag.  I usually have someone I am rooting for by this point, but…

The merged Tikiano is back at the beach after tribal council.  Troyzan and Model Jay are sad to see Jonas go.  Troyzan knows that the men’s former alliance has been upset by some of the guys’ loyalty to the Salani.  After a discussion with Jay, the two men seem to be back to the boys versus girls mentality.  The pair finds a message in a 7 Up bottle as tree-mail.  From the cryptic letter, it seems the winner of the reward challenge will get their fill of the un-cola.  #productplacement

The reward challenge involves each member on the chosen tribes to go down a super steep water slide and then head into the ocean to retrieve boxes that will ultimately be connected as a puzzle.  The winning tribe will be whisked to a 7 Up oasis…only Jeff Probst could make that sound so sexy.  The winners will partake in barbecue, burgers, key lime pie, and, of course, all the 7 Up they can drink.  To whet the teams pallets, each player is given a taste of the citrus beverage.  It’s “school-yard pick” as to who is on which team.  The first group is Jay Byars, Kat Edorsson, Troyzan, Alicia Rosa, and Chelsea Meissner versus everyone else…except Tarzan.  He wasn’t picked.


Mike and Jay start head-to-head.  Kim makes a smooth transition from slide to sand.  The first players are allowed to help their newest teammates grab their crates from the ocean.  It’s a very close rewards challenge.  The teams are neck-and-neck.  Alicia loses her bathing suit bottoms in the excitement.  Model Jay’s team has a slight lead as they try to construct their puzzle.  Each side of the crate is painted, making it difficult to know which side of the box to use.  The other tribe pulls ahead, and Kat gets flustered watching the other team.  In the end, Lief, Sabrina, Kim, Mike, and Christina head to the 7 Up oasis.  That was a close game.

At this “oasis,” the yellow team is eating and drinking up a storm.  They pray over their bounty before digging in full force.  It’s an invigorating win for this group.  Sabrina and Kim take the opportunity to strategize.  They are all about girl power.  Kim and Sabrina are willing to put up a front that they are still loyal to the Salani, but really they want to send the men packing.

Back at the beach, Troyzan tries to comfort the losers by talking about the havoc steak will wreak on the winners’ digestive tracks.  They talk about who to vote off, but Jay is concerned that Mike is on the chopping block.  He thinks the girls have too much power already.  The winning tribe brings back a cooler of 7 Up for the losing team.  Troyzan can’t help but wonder what the winners discussed during their feast.  He sincerely hopes that Sabrina and Kim are still aligned with the Salani and not just the ladies.

A storm rolls in on the Survivors.  It’s pretty severe weather for people living under bamboo sticks.  Tarzan is proving himself to be, let’s face it, an idiot.  He’s using parts of their shelter as fire wood.  That’s the impending monsoon’s job.  Duh.  Tarzan can feel Chelsea’s underlying disdain for him.  He decides to face it head on…by stating that he understands her animosity based on how badly her boob job is.  Chelsea is clearly targeting him with the anger she has towards her personal plastic surgeon.  Regardless, she isn’t ready to vote off Tarzan as he is no threat to anyone.

Troyzan and Kim go to get the tree-mail, and Kim works her feminine wiles to convince Troyzan that Mike is trying to garner votes for him.  Troyzan can’t believe it!  Aren’t the men supposed to stick together?  He doesn’t even question Kim’s potential tactics…Troyzan just wants revenge.  The tribe learns that the immunity challenge will require balance and concentration.  On the beach, Jeff enlightens the Tikiano as to their challenge.  Each person must balance across an obstacle course, weaving a bag of puzzle pieces in and out of the ladder beam.  The first four to make it across will be racing to assemble a complicated puzzle, with the first finished winning immunity.

Out of the gate, the first of the final four is Jay, followed by KimMicheal and Troyzan have sacrificed their leads due to a tangled bag of pieces.  Joining Jay and Kim in the final four of the challenge are Alicia and Troyzan.  If Alicia wins this challenge, I may boycott my recaps.  Each puzzle is comprised of sixty parts.  Kim and Alicia are quick to figure out the puzzle while the men struggle.  Each player is having a difficult time matching up their pieces, and it is down to Kim and Jay.  Shockingly, in quite the comeback, Jay wins immunity.

Back at camp, the Tikiano gives a half-hearted congratulations to Jay.  He wants to send Christina home. Not only is she not a Salani member, but it helps even out the number of men and women.  Kim hopes that she can convince Troyzan to send Mike home…she just doesn’t want him telling Jay her plan.  When Jay hears a similar plan from Chelsea, he admits that he doesn’t trust the women at all.  At least he hasn’t faltered from the start.  However, he’s worried if he doesn’t follow along, he’ll be next.  Kim and Sabrina are appalled that Chelsea would mention that plan in front of Alicia and Christina.  That isn’t putting forth a united Salani front.

Kim and Chelsea meet with Mike and Jay about voting off Christina.  Mike loves a blindside, and that is what will happen if a woman is voted off at the next tribal council.  Kim doesn’t know whether she should vote with the women or with her Salani tribe.  At tribal council, Jonas arrives with a smile…the first member of the jury.  Jeff questions if anyone thinks they are on the chopping block.  Crickets!   Jeff is shocked to learn that no one is the least bit worried that they will be going home.  Tarzan has a lot to say, but none of it is cohesive. Tarzan cites Jeff, yes the host, is being played, and he touts ambiguity as everyone’s biggest ally.  Kat thinks that Tarzan’s “rantics” are hilarious.

I’m at a loss as to who will be the next jury member.  I can’t keep up with the whole men versus women, co-ed Salani against Manono.  Who is in which alliance?  Christina, Mike, and Tarzan each garner two votes, but Mike gets the remaining votes.  I honestly didn’t see that coming!

Next week, the men are concerned about the women’s power.  Is Kat willing to switch sides?