It’s once again time for Dr. Drew Pinsky and his diluted and passive advice to this past season’s crop of 16 & Pregnant girls.  Yes, it’s Life After Labor, y’all, and it’s an hour and a half!  He touts the triumphs and challenges of the most recent teen moms, and, as you all know, we’re treated to quite an emotional video montage.

Briana, who graduated high school a year early (the girl whose sister had an abortion around the same time Briana got pregnant) is first on Dr. Drew’s sofa.  She’s still sporting her adorable cropped haircut.  She’s joined by her mother and sister.  Everyone is crying.  Her mother is devastated, saying it’s not the path she wanted for her daughters.  Her sister seems very defensive when answering Drew’s questions about her abortion.  More tears.  She’s worried her family will feel guilty for her actions.  Briana cries saying she had to give up school, and all of her friends have abandoned her.


Briana’s ex-boyfriend Devon joins Briana with Dr. Drew.  He is questioned by Dr. Drew, and Briana reveals that he isn’t the dad he should be.  Devon agrees, saying that he has lost his youth by being a dad.  Briana disagrees, saying that he’s still doing things that a normal teen would do.  She tells a blank Devon that she needs his help physically, emotionally, and financially.  Devon is void of emotion, and he blames that fact that he lives too far away to be a good dad.  He admits that he wants his daughter to know who he is, but he isn’t sure how to make that happen…um, how about show up and spend time with her?  Tell him that Dr. Drew.  But, alas, he doesn’t.  Instead, Dr. Drew touts Devon’s attempts to be a dad…aka, what he spews while on this sofa.  Drew gives them some homework (go to the zoo as a family!), and I am too appalled at the Pinsky to even make a joke about it.

Drew does a birth control PSA before introducing Lindsay, the cage fighter.  Oh memories!  She’s joined by her mom and boyfriend.  Lindsay is emotional watching the footage, but she is beyond thankful that her once absent boyfriend has now stepped up to the plate.  The pair is using condoms until she is able to get birth control from the free clinic.  Her insurance didn’t cover and IUD.  Lindsay says she plans on being open with her daughter, and she will get her on birth control the second she starts her period.  Drew asks Lindsay’s boyfriend Forest about his mother’s enabling ways…she didn’t want him to work during Lindsay’s pregnancy or after the baby came.  He claims that after his daughter was born, his entire mindset changed.

A scary statistic is tossed about by Dr. Drew before welcoming MacKenzie and her bull-riding beau to the sofa.  Josh is still riding bulls, and apparently, he still needs subtitles.  Isn’t this couple that will be on the next Teen Mom and she’s hoping to get pregnant again ASAP?  Maybe I’m wrong.  MacKenzie knows that she won’t be able to go to college, and she’s upset that she won’t ever be able to cheer at the college level.  She admits that she didn’t use birth control when she got pregnant because she didn’t want to get fat.

Oh.  Em.  Gee.  Guess what, folks?  She’s still not using it. MTV, you are certainly preventing teen pregnancies with this franchise!  Dr. Drew wants to know if she wants to get pregnant again…she says no, but she hates the Pill.  Josh is allergic to latex.  Neither have jobs.  This would be a great “teachable moment” for Drew, but no dice.  MacKenzie says she hasn’t had an “oopsie” since the baby was born.  Hey MacKenzie, an “oopsie” equals another kid!  Her mom is on board with no birth control as she believes in abstinence.  WHAT?  They just said they were having sex!  Her mom thinks people just don’t understand.  Dr. Drew is concerned…no one else on the sofa is.  No words.

Thanks for the statistic, DrewSarah’s episode is highlighted.  You may recall that her red-headed wannabe shrimper boyfriend and her mother HATED each other.  He took off to South Georgia in the middle of the night to work on a fishing boat.  Sarah is in tears, and she reveals that her ex-boyfriend never sees his daughter.  He has never sent any money like he promised.  Sarah is still in school and will be graduating with good grades.

Drew brings out shrimper Blake, and he’s as far from them on the sofa as he could be.  Why doesn’t MTV have subtitles for the finale?  Good gracious, he’s making Southerners look horrible.  Blake says he wants to be in his daughter’s life, but he also says he never knew his dad.  Sarah tells him he needs to make the same sacrifices she’s made, and he mumbles an apology.  That mumbled apology seems to make Sarah happy, although she claims she’s heard it before.

Kristina is with Dr. Drew.  She lost her fiancé Todd in a tragic drowning accident when the pair was engaged and she was three months pregnant the summer after her junior year of high school.  Kristina also suffered from a very traumatic pregnancy.  Dr. Drew makes Kristina relive the drowning, but she still seems very numb to everything.  She says therapy was a big help.  Wait, what?  She’s engaged!  Todd’s family can’t be happy about that.  Fiance TJ is being a good father figure to Kristina’s son, but she promises that Lukas will know all about his father Todd.

Dr. Drew asks how her mom’s sister’s (her aunt’s) husband (her uncle) is dealing with her engagement, knowing that her mom’s sister’s(her aunt’s) husband (her uncle) is the older brother of her late fiancé Todd.  Follow?  It’s hard, I know.  Her aunt and uncle (and baby daddy’s brother, mind you) is having a very difficult time with her new relationship.  Can you blame them?  Kristina tells Drew that TJ fills the void that Todd left.  That’s healthy!  At least she’s using an IUD though.  Forget the teen pregnancy statistic, instead, Dr. Drew urges those who have lost a loved one to seek help.

Alex’s pregnancy is revisited.  Her boyfriend Matt was the sweaty, high dude who wanted her to consider adoption.  He did nothing as far as being a father, but his drugged out self kept advising Alex to think about adoption.  Alex tells Dr. Drew that he didn’t want the baby because he didn’t want to take time away from his friends.  She reveals to Drew that she is very proud of Matt as he’s completed rehab (not with Dr. Drew presumably), but he’s still not a good dad now that he’s back at home.

Thankfully, even though he wasn’t able to be at the finale in person, Matt is available via phone.  Thankfully! #sarcasm.  He wasn’t allowed to make it to the finale due to a probation violation.  Matt admits to Drew that he goes to AA or NA meetings at least two times a week.  Drew takes the opportunity to call him “dude” (it’s the only slightly aggressive thing Drew’s ever done on these finales…and he needs to do it more), stating he’s witnessed Matt’s drug problems, and he need to be attending meetings twice a day.

Matt still slurs a lot, but he shares his gems of knowledge about why adoption would be best for the couple.  Alex says she still leaves their child with him, but he turns around and drops his daughter with his mom.  She also reveals that she knows he’s still drinking and doing drugs.  THEN WHY DO YOU STILL LEAVE YOUR DAUGHTER WITH HIM?  Alex says she was hooking up with Alex as recently as a week and a half ago.  She is no longer considering adoption.  She hopes that Matt will terminate his parental rights.  Drew reminds her that it’s hard to get someone to terminate their rights when you keep hooking up with them. Words to live by, Drew.  Cue the PSA on substance addiction.  This show needs to exit stage left.  Seriously.

Myranda and boyfriend Erik join Drew.  They only dated a few months (weeks?) before getting pregnant and lived with his grandmother before moving into his cousin’s home.  Myranda’s mother suffers from drug addiction, but her boyfriend is a stellar support. She still has trust issues regarding her mom watching their daughter.  The pair is happy and engaged.  They seem very well-adjusted.  Erik’s Nanny joins them on the sofa.  Drew makes Erik sing Nanny’s praises to her face.  Nanny seems in awe to be on a sound stage.

Finally, we remember Katie’s episode.  She and her boyfriend Jordan were always close, and his family was extremely supportive.  The couple lives together.  He’s working while Katie goes to school.  The pair uses condoms and Katie has an IUD.  Katie says she considered adoption, but Jordan wasn’t on board.  Drew reminds her that her pregnancy changed her life, friendships, and plans…it’s an odd segue as they were one of the only normal functioning couples. But hey, what can Drew do?

Just as I suspected, there were absentee moms on the finales.  Really, MTV?  The girls don’t get equal time? I was wondering what happened to that guy who stepped up to the plate after some casual hook-ups…I hate he only gets internet time.  For shame, MTV.  The “highlighted moms” get to ask one another scripted questions before the babies are introduced.  Again, some girls from this season got the shaft?  I may be more appalled at that than I am at the premise of this show!


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