Mob Wives Chicago Recap: It’s Not a Party Without Face Slapping and Molestation Allegations!

Last night’s Mob Wives Chicago was yet another party foul.  These women can’t get along to save their lives, although they aren’t nearly as tough as their original counterparts.  At all.

Christina Scoleri fancies herself a designer.  Watch out, Project Runway!  She invites Pia Rizza over to share her new creation.  Christina is designing a dress for Renee Fecarotta Russo.  Pia relives her altercation with Nora Schweihs while Christina can’t believe all of this drama is happening on the eve of her party.  Pia is sick of people disliking her for being a stripper.  She reveals to Christina that Nora also used to “dance.”  Christina is floored to learn that Nora used strip, she doesn’t think she made much money.  While Pia has issues with Renee, she is willing to hang out with her at Christina’s party. Christina isn’t willing to throw Nora under the bus quite yet, because Nora hasn’t done anything to her.  Pia cusses up a storm.  Should be a great party!

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Nora is trying to focus on finding out what happened to her father’s body.  Let.  It.  Go.  He’s buried.  Exhume him if need be.  I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but if she is hellbent on not believing he’s in his coffin, she needs to do something about it.  It really doesn’t matter how many times the funeral home tells her that he’s in the ground.  Nora wants to “resume” his body, but she has to get permission from all of her family members.

With all of the craziness going on in her life, Renee needs to vent to a friend.  She meets Leah Disimone for coffee.  Weren’t these two just introduced an episode or two ago?  Seriously?  Could Renee be wearing any more make-up?  She hates Nora, and Leah can’t believe how Nora is acting.  Of course, this is the same woman who hates Nora for not dancing with her at an Italian festival.  The two ladies chat about how pretty Nora used to be back in the day, but now she’s a haggard mess.  It’s very high school…if high school had mobsters.

At Renee’s eyeglasses store, she is having rocky times with her boyfriend and business partner Dave.  She tells him about her argument with Nora, and she’s upset when he doesn’t get heated about someone being ugly to her.  Things escalate when she tells him about a last minute vision expo.  Can you blame him?  🙂  The pair’s spat is interrupted by a customer who comes in needing an eye exam.  I love that Renee was appalled at Pia’s language in the store, yet she and Dave are swearing all over the place in front of this poor guy who just wants some glasses.

Nora is shopping with her friend Desiree.  They duo plans to make some wine together.  Nora wants to create a wine in memory of her father.  Perhaps she needs to set up a meeting with Ramona Singer.  She hopes that the Kennedys and the President will want to buy her wine.  Good luck with that.  I may drink my wine out of a box, but I can guarantee you that the Kennedys aren’t drinking wine out of giant plastic bucket.

Pia and her friend Kamila exercise together.  Camille will be attending Christina’s party with Pia.  Something tells me that Kamila may also be a “dancer.”  Kamila reveals that Nora got fired from her last strip gig.  Leah joins the group, planning to ball bust the ladies…she isn’t into working out per se.  Leah files her nail while the ladies work the treadmill, and she is way over Nora and Pia’s back and forth friendship.  Leah will believe that Pia is done with Nora when she sees it.

Christina and Nora meet for lunch, and Christina really enjoys her time with Nora.  Nora can’t stop talking about the wine she is producing in honor of her father.  Nora’s description of the wine being her reincarnated father and the red wine being the blood flowing through her heart is slightly creeping out Christina.  She makes a joke in her interview that it will be a killer wine…given that Nora’s dad was a hit man.  Nora admits that she and Pia did get into a fight, but she’s over it.  She wasn’t keen on Pia reminding her of her stripping days, but Nora only worked for a few months before she was fired for getting into a fight.  That sounds about right!

Leah joins Christina while she’s preparing for her party.  Leah has brought over her entire closet and medicine cabinet to get ready.  Christina is worried about all the women’s drama.  I am worried about Leah’s hot pink eyeshadow.  At least they match her feather earrings.  Nora’s friend Debbie is accompanying Nora to the party.  Poor Debbie.  After some no-name friends, Nora is the first to arrive at the get together.  Pia and Kamila arrive next.  Their accents are killing me.  Pia is shunning Nora, but Nora does make the effort to introduce her to Debbie.  Renee and her friend Crystal are the last to show up at the shindig.  Renee is fully planning on confronting Nora about their beef.  Emily Post would be proud.

Renee is several hours late.  Leah is getting upset with Christina for insisting that Pia and Nora mend fences.  While Pia isn’t willing to rehash their issues, Nora is out the door.  She is frustrated that Renee is so late.  Why does she care if they aren’t even speaking?  Nora claims food poisoning and exits stage left, but Christina finds her excuse to be ridiculous seeing as the ladies haven’t eaten yet.  They are clearly drinking their dinner.  No shame in that game, right?  Leah can’t fathom Nora’s sudden mood change.  Nora is sprinting past Renee once she finally graces Christina’s party with her presence.

The women are confused with Nora’s quick exit.  Even mortal enemies Pia and Renee are in agreement about Nora’s craziness.  Christina calls Nora in hopes of getting her back to the party, but Nora has a slew of excuses…mainly that she’s upset about her dad.  Leah thinks that Christina is playing with fire.  Let well enough alone.  Pia and Renee actually align against Nora.  While they still claim to hate each other, they seem to hate Nora more.  Nora returns to the party talking about how much drama she has going on with her father.  Renee goes in on Nora, and it gets ugly very quickly.  Of course, these women are still no Basketball Wives.  Pia actually backs Renee in her fight against Nora.  She even throws the first slap.

Christina has given up all hope about a nice party.  Pia won’t stand for being called a whore.  She’s a stripper, not a whore.  Christina is astonished that Nora doesn’t fight back.  Renee starts following Nora out of the party, and was it just me or did Renee sound like a chimpanzee?  Christina is horrified that the women are ganging up on Nora.  Renee is on her knees in a bout of special craziness.  Nora vows not to fight with her fists, as she believes words can do much more damage.  That said, she screams at Renee about the fact that Renee’s father used to rape Renee.  Really?  That’s quite the accusation.  Renee is off her knees and in psycho mode.  Party’s over!

Next week, Christina is upset with Pia for putting her hands on Nora.  She expresses the same sentiment to Renee who cusses her out in return.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE?  WHO IS THE CRAZIEST OF ALL THE LADIES? 

[Photo Credit: VH1]

 

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