Dance Moms Recap: These Women (And By ‘Women’ I Mean Abby) Are Crazy

I’m not going to lie.  I had to focus on my breathing during last night’s Dance Moms so as not to pop a vein.  These poor girls work so hard, and they are truly supportive friends.  However, Abby Lee Miller and the crazy moms do everything possible to take the fun out of what they like to do most.  I was really, really disturbed by it.

It’s pyramid time once again, but Kelly and Paige are glaringly absent.  Abby Lee thinks it’s horrendous that Kelly hasn’t filled her in on the status of Paige’s foot injury.  Bottom line: they should be there for the pyramid.  Abby lectures the girls about the importance of listening to her…if Paige had listened, she may not have hurt herself!  Christi can’t believe Abby is blaming Paige.  It was an accident.  Abby praises last week’s soloists and announces they’ll be competing in Philly next.  Paige is on the bottom thanks to her “accident” along with MacKenzie and Chloe.  Chloe lands on the bottom because she didn’t have a solo that makes sense.  Brooke and Nia are on the second tier, with Maddie once again on the top thanks to getting the highest score from the judges.  MacKenzie is granted a solo, although she won’t be in the group dance.  Brooke and Maddie both get a solo.  Chloe and Paige will be dancing a duet.  Chloe is thrilled at the prospect of dancing with her best friend.


Abby is focusing more on ballet for this competition.  Of course, all of the excitement subsides when Paige walks in wearing a boot.  She can’t dance for 4-6 weeks.  To say that Abby is upset is an understatement.  Both Paige and Chloe are in tears because they can’t dance in their long awaited duet.  Brooke also appears to be in pain, and Kelly fears for her other daughter’s acrobatic solo.  Jill brings Kendall for dance lessons, but she secretly hoes that she’ll be able to get her daughter into the competition.  When she sees Paige’s boot, Jill is almost salivating at the possibilities.  Perhaps Kendall can take Paige’s place in the duet.  Paige joins the mom in the viewing room and reveals that Jill was questioning her about her injury.  Jill approaches Abby about Kendall replacing Paige.  Abby can’t believe her gall!  Doesn’t she remember that she left Abby’s studio for her nemesis the Candy Apples?  The moms try their best to eavesdrop on the exchange.  Kelly decides to confront Jill about Paige.  She’s injured, but she’s not out of the group.  The women get into it.  Shocking, I know.

Maddie has gotten the part on Drop Dead Diva, and while Abby is proud of her, she hates Maddie will be missing rehearsal time to film her spot on the show.  Brooke is learning her solo which tells the story of Anne FrankKelly wonders who that is.  I am beyond floored.  How can she be so ignorant?  Both Holly and Christi agree.  After watching Brooke nurse her sore back during rehearsals, Kelly reiterates that she isn’t sure who Anne Frank was, but she’s pretty sure that she wasn’t doing tumbling.  There is a part of the former teacher in me who just died a bit.  Wow.  Kelly shares that a chiropractor has stated that Brooke needs to rest.  Kelly wonders why Brooke can’t get a solo sans acrobatics.

MacKenzie is on point with her acrobatics solo.  She’s adorbs.  Abby is hosting auditions to see who will replace Paige in the duet.  Holly finds it ridiculous that Kendall is even being considered given that she isn’t part of the troupe.  Poor Paige just writes in her journal as she watches the debacle.  The moms spar with Jill about how unfair it is that Kendall may be placed in the duet over one of their daughters.  The moms encourage Holly to stand up to Abby and demand that Nia score a place in the duet.  As the exchange becomes heated (on Abby’s part), the poor girls look extremely uncomfortable.

The lyrical group dance is a mess according to Abby.  With Paige out, Brooke “whining” about back pain, and Maddie filming Drop Dead Diva, Abby makes the decision to put Kendall in the group number.  Jill is a stone wall against the other mom’s comments.  Maddie is in Atlanta to film her scenes for the show, and she has a great time.  Back at the studio, Abby has decided that Kendall will get to dance the duet with Chloe.  I feel so badly for Kendall…she wants to succeed, but her mom is going to be a hurdle for her going forward.  Who am I kidding?  Most of these moms are going to be hurdles for their sweet and talented daughters.  Maddie returns and regales Abby with her time on set.  It’s not hard to see that she’s clearly Abby’s favorite.  Maddie spent her time between takes rehearsing for the competition.  This girl is wicked amazing.  Abby doesn’t agree…she thinks that Maddie is far behind after missing a day’s rehearsal.

The team arrives in Philadelphia.  Abby is freaking out about the group number given all the upheaval in the group.  She thinks the girls’ ballet skills are lacking.  I think it’s an absolutely adorable number.  Abby is far from impressed.  Jill thinks that Kendall is the missing link with this company.  The girls take first place.  Abby asks the girls how they managed to pull off a win given all of their mistakes.  Thanks for the vote of confidence!  Brooke is clearly in pain, and Abby urges her to use it to her advantage.  Kelly is conflicted as to whether she should allow her daughter to compete.  MacKenzie takes the stage first, and she totally rocks her number.  Her big sis Maddie is beaming with pride.  Precious!

As Brooke lays on the floor crying, Kelly tearfully tells Abby she’s pulling her from the solo.  As much as Brooke wants to dance, she’s in too much pain.  Her fellow teammates are crowded around her.  At this news, Abby calls her lazy and scared to lose.  After all, she choreographed an amazing solo, and now Brooke doesn’t want to do it?  The mothers look on in shock.  I have never wanted to smack Abby as much as I do now.  Kelly says she won’t risk her daughter’s health for one dance.  Almost all of the moms are in agreement, and Abby storms out to pull Brooke’s solo.  Jill, of course, wishes Kelly had made this decision earlier so that Kendall could have gotten a solo.  Are you KIDDING me?

Maddie is nervous about her solo after missing a rehearsal.  She shouldn’t have been.  This girl is a powerhouse.  Lord how I adore all of these girls–their teacher, on the other hand…no words.  Chloe and Kendall take the stage next with the duet.  Jill sees this as Kendall’s opportunity to show Abby that her daughter is a major player.  Abby thinks the pair danced well together and were in sync, but she believes they lacked intensity.

MacKenzie gets second for her solo.  In Abby’s interview, she equates it to second loser.  How nice when talking about a six-year-old!  Geez, my blood is boiling this episode.  Maddie wins her division, clearly.  Chloe and Kendall’s duet places first as well.  Back in the staging room, Abby has big hugs and praise for Maddie.  She makes Maddie perform her Drop Dead Diva routine right there on the spot.  Christi is appalled that Abby can’t take the time to recognize the other girls’ hard work.  Frankly, I am too.  Melissa takes Maddie out in light of the fighting, and Abby calls the moms “vultures.”  Christi says that Maddie is probably mortified that Abby continues to pit her against her friends.  I tend to agree, and I am thrilled Melissa had the sense to remove her daughter.  It has to be so hard to want to please your teacher while staying part of the group.  Maddie doens’t have it easy.

Christi yells at Abby, asking what she plans to accomplish by telling Maddie that all of her friends are jealous of her.  Abby retorts that clearly they are.  Moms, maybe, but those girls support one another until the end.  Abby then repeatedly calls Chloe a sneak, and the sweet girl leaves the room bawling.  I love that all the girls follow out Chloe trying to console her.  Abby then tells Kelly that Brooke won’t be talented in a few years because she’ll always be crying “injury.”  I so hope this show is more scripted than I think it is, because I can barely stomach seeing how those poor girls are affected by the immature actions of these stupid and nasty adults.

Next week, Melissa stands up to Christi.  The Candy Apples return, and a yelling match with the usually quiet Melissa ensues.  Abby wants Maddie to focus more on dance and less on friendships.  Is it just me or is she purposefully trying to create a divide between Maddie and her teammates?


[Photo Credit: Lifetime]