Big Rich Texas Recap: Rip-ley’s Believe Him Or Not Proposes To Leslie

Last week on Big Rich Texas, Leslie Birkland decided to have Kalyn Braun baptized (in a pool during a thunder and lightning storm) to wash away her slutty tendencies. Much to Kalyn's dismay, Leslie invited Kalyn's mom, Terry. Instead of embracing her mother, ignoring her, or faking small talk, Kalyn threw a temper tantrum of epic proportions. 

Following the party, if Leslie's face could show emotion, she would look bewildered. Leslie doesn't understand why Kalyn got so upset with her mother. Just a guess… perhaps because they're two manipulative drama queens fighting for attention. Kalyn tells Leslie that she got too heated and cannot even remember what set her off, adding, "Everything was just rushing through my head, like all the crap she pulls, and I just went off. I lost it. I couldn't handle it anymore." 

Leslie stresses that people can change. Leslie blows my mind with, "Now that you're an adult and you've been baptized, you're looking and viewing life differently." Being baptized does not instantly make one an adult… and, for crying out loud, Kalyn's hair is practically still wet. When did she have time to change her outlook on life? Leslie urges Kalyn to give Terry a chance. Kalyn says the mere thought is exhausting. 

Next, DeAynni Hatley brings 15-year-old Shaye to the Big Rich Texas plastic surgeon for Botox. I'll let you digest that statement for a moment and meet you in the next paragraph.


On the couch, DeAynni explains, "I'm bringing Shaye to Dr. A today because she has these railroad tracks on her forehead that I think are unsightly. She needs Botox." Dr. A tells Shaye she's too young. DeAynni butts in, saying, "It's preventative. We want to be proactive." Dr. A goes over the importance of sun block and skin care. Shaye thinks that stuff takes too much time and asks the doctor to make an exception. Dr. A stands his ground, refusing to inject the child with Botox. DeAynni is mad. The sad excuse for a mother then says to her impressionable daughter, "Maybe we'll just buy you a big visor to cover those wrinkles on your forehead." 

All of the ladies meet at the club for Zumba. While sitting with Connie Dieb, Melissa Poe, and DeAynni, Bonnie Blossman spies Cindy Davis across the room. Cindy is with Wendy Walker and Nikki Walker, who complains about being hung over. When DeAynni sees who Bonnie is looking at she's all like, better hold onto your husbands, ladies. Melissa comes to Cindy's defense, saying, "I like Cindy. I think everybody just got off on the wrong foot." Connie asks about Kalyn's baptism. DeAynni sums it up – Kalyn did a stomp out and the food was good.

Zumba starts. Cindy looks drunk. Leslie joins Zumba class – to gush. Guess what! Ripley's believe him or not wants to marry Leslie. Isn't that lovely? Leslie explains, Rip just blurted it out at a restaurant.. so no ring yet. Everyone is silent. On her couch, DeAynni  says, "I can't believe Leslie doesn't have a ring from Rip. I mean, come on, you have to pay to play." Over on Melissa's couch, she says, "Leslie has a way of embellishing." Maddie interjects, "You mean lying." Melissa continues, "I'm just saying… I would like to meet this Rip sometime." 

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While out shopping, Shaye tells Maddie and Alex about her Botox consultation. They, too, think it's inappropriate for their age. Maddie asks, "You can get something that alters your face but you can't go out on a date and have a boyfriend?" Shaye doesn't think it's as odd as Maddie does but goes on to tell the girls that she's dating a guy despite DeAynni's rules. (Dating = Texting on the DL) 

Kalyn and Terry meet for dinner. At first, Kalyn refuses to make eye contact with Terry. After a while, Kalyn tells Terry, "It was so hard for me growing up. There were a lot of times I didn't understand why I was here. I didn't want to be here. I didn't see a point for me to be here anymore. I had no one around who actually gave a shit about me. For a long time, I didn't want to be alive because of you. What was so special and important that you couldn't stick around?" Terry has no answer, but she asks Kalyn to give her a chance to prove she has changed. Kalyn is like, it's going to take a lot of new clothes and a lot of time.

Connie and Bonnie look at engagement rings with Leslie. While Connie's all about the size of the ring, Mr. Salesman wants to know where the groom-to-be is. Conveniently, he's on an airplane. Bonnie takes this opportunity to tell Leslie that she wants to meet Rip and asks them to join her and Jason for dinner on Friday night. Leslie agrees.

Pageants R Us brings a new client to a salon for makeup. Leslie and Kalyn invite Terry. Terry proceeds to drop all the titles she's earned and takes credit for all of Kalyn's pageant knowledge. Meanwhile, Maddie, Alex, and Shaye are together, eating lunch at the club. Alex asks Shaye if she and Tatum (her texting boyfriend) are fighting. Shaye says no. Then, Alex informs her that Tatum is bragging about Shaye giving him sexual favors. Maddie looks like she's going to vomit. On her couch, Shaye is sad, saying she feels used. Shaye's final words on the subject, "My mom cannot find out about this." 

Bonnie tells Connie and Melissa that she has decided to turn her Friday night dinner with Rip and Leslie into an engagement party. This will not end well. 

Leslie and Cindy meet for drinks and dinner drinks. Cindy says, "I want to get Leslie drunk so I can talk her out of this marriage thing. It's not that I'm anti-marriage, I just think that if you're getting shopping sprees and he's traveling with you and you guys are getting along, why mess that up by getting married." After several hundred (it seems) shots, Leslie is like, "I'm drunk. I'm officially drunk. I'm so embarrassed." Cindy is like, "Please! I'm always drunk." Now that Leslie is sloshed, Cindy preaches her "get engaged, not married" message. 

Kalyn continues to hang out with Terry. Kalyn continues to complain about it. Honestly, Kalyn, it's simple… cease the invites.

While Whitney does facials on Booger and Jason (it's true), Bonnie asks her to come to Leslie and Rip's engagement party. Whitney says no. Not listening, Bonnie suggests diamond ring costumes. Shockingly, the promise of costumes fails to win over Whitney. Then, Booger jumps in and says that he doesn't want Whitney around Tyler anyway. Jason asks why, and Whitney tells him that Tyler called her a bitch. Jason has zero tolerance for men disrespecting women. Jason goes off on a rant, still covered in yellow face mask.

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Kalyn didn't get my "cease to invite" memo. During this mom and daugther outing, Kalyn boohoos about Whitney putting her in the hospital. Terry blames Leslie. Kalyn is an expert victim and master manipulator, isn't she? Cut to the Hadley house, DeAynni SCREAMS for Shaye. Uh oh. Amber snitched to Mommy Dearest about Shaye texting with Tatum. Shaye cries to DeAynni about her and Amber ganging up on her all the time. DeAynni basically says hogwash. Shaye tells her mom, "You need to let the reigns loose a little bit." DeAynni warns, "I'm never letting the reigns loose, Shaye." Shaye thinks she should be able to date. DeAynni tells her, "You need to act a little more age appropriate by shooting  Botox into your forehead, and then I will try to see things your way."  

Bonnie (and her boobs) welcomes people to Leslie and Rip's engagement party. Leslie finally arrives… alone. Apparently, Rip is stuck in New York. #engineproblems On her couch, Bonnie says, "I cannot believe I'm still not meeting Rip!" Whitney is like, "Helllllooo, he doesn't exist!"

Leslie screams for alcohol. Naturally, everyone else joins in, because this is Big Drunk Texas (well, you know, it should be). Obviously, Leslie thinks they'll all forget about Rip once they're hammered. That plan backfires on Leslie when a drunk Cindy hits on Tyler. Cindy touches Tyler and asks him to come home with her, to make out. Tyler is like, "What?! Yeah, that's not happening." Cindy starts to yell and Jason runs over, screaming at Tyler about disrespecting women. I have no idea how Cindy stays upright on her bar stool. 

Jason is in Tyler's face, yelling, "You want to call my daughter a bitch? Call me a bitch! I will knock you the f*** out." Leslie insists Tyler never called Whitney a bitch.. she knows stuff… she also calls Jason delusional. Jason doesn't back down, so Leslie, Tyler, and Kalyn, whose bacteria must be multiplying from all of this new drama, leave the restaurant. Bonnie isn't happy with Jason. She says, "He has a good heart … This was not the time or place." 

Before the drinks and drama began, the women made plans to spend a weekend in New Orleans. That drunken escapade airs December 2. 😉 


Photo credit: Style Network

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