Mob Wives Recap: Botox Bashes, Not Head Bashes…It’s A Step In The Right Direction!

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I'm in shock and awe…in a good way.  Last night's Mob Wives was almost family oriented.  Weird, right?  Drita D'Avanzo shunned fights to hang with her girls.  Big Ang, as always, remained drama free.  Ramona Rizzo and Karen Gravano seem to be waiting in the wings this season thus far.  Love Majewski and Renee Graziano love to spark the crazy, but Carla Facciolo came out against her almost ex-husband with guns blazing. 

We began last night's episode as Karen and Ramona head to Renee's, and Karen has some major extensions.  It's the afternoon of that dreaded brunch, and Renee is filling in the ladies on Carla's behavior.  There is a lot of bleeping.  Renee thinks that Carla is addicted to sleeping with married men.  Renee reveals that neither Drita nor Big Ang came to her defense, and at one point, Carla threatened her life with a butter knife.  Ramona is curious as to whether Carla planned to Grey Poupon Renee to death.  The girl has jokes!  It's jokeable…if that's a word.  Karen shares that back in the day, they would have thrown Carla in the trunk of a car and threatened her family's life just to scare her a bit.  Glad to see they've grown and matured.

Carla and her kids are playing in their pool, and she is getting the skinny on Joe's new house from the twins.  She is shocked to learn that her husband and his girlfriend love to cook for the kids.  Her children love the new lady Raquel as she takes them to Coney Island and does nice stuff for them.  Carla is confused as to why a nice, young girl would want to get involved with an older, not yet divorced guy with kids who just got out of the slammer.  Her kids are adorable.

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Drita, Ang, and their tiny dogs are going to the pet store.  Ang has added Chanel (who she has dyed partly pink) to her little pooch family.  The women discuss the disastrous sit-down, and they are proud of Renee for not losing her cool.  They pat themselves on the back for a job well done.  Really?  Ang wants to throw a Botox bash, and Drita seems a little hesitant to hear that Love will be invited.  Drita has made a pact that she won't be fighting with anyone this season.  We'll see how that goes given it's just ten minutes into the second episode.

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Drita, Carla, and Ang head to Brighton Beach, and wow, are those some cover-ups those ladies are sporting.  There is nothing more practical to wear on the beach than chains.  Carla is talking about how she really doesn't care about Joe's new girlfriend who is basically a younger, cuter version of Carla.  Ang is flabbergasted to hear from Drita that Lee will be out of jail in a mere six months.  Funny, she didn't seem that surprised in the pet store last scene when she received the exact same news.  Ang hopes that Drita will be able to give Lee another chance.  As if on cue, Lee calls and Drita is like a glowing school girl.  He wants her to bring the kids to come visit him.  Drita admits that before Lee treated, she used to have phone sex with Lee when he'd call from prison.  Um, how does that work from Lee's side?  I mean, I doubt he has privacy while he's on the phone with his wife.  How terribly awkward.  I can't even try to fathom the logistics.

AJ went to his grandfather's sentencing hearing in his mother's place because she was too frightened that Junior would be in attendance.  AJ relays what happened at the hearing, including a letter that Renee's father wrote to the family, and Renee is in tears to learn that she isn't being blamed for Junior turning him into the authorities.  I can't even imagine the conflicting emotions that poor AJ has.  Renee wants to sell her house so that she and her son can start fresh.  He's in agreement. 

Drita and her daughters are playing soccer in the park, and we learn that Drita was a national level athlete.  She tries to explain her bad choices to her girls, as she didn't continue to compete once she got sucked into Lee and his crowd.  Drita talks to her girls about their father, and she shares that she wants to go visit Lee.  Her older daughter immediately wants to join in her mother's trek, but her five-year-old is a much tougher sell.  Finally, after some cajoling on Drita's part, she reluctantly agrees to go see her dad who she hasn't seen since she was three…if she even remembers that.

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Joe is shooting some hoops with Raquel…she is quite the young one.  I think someone is happy to be on television.  We learn that Raquel is planning to move in with Joe, but he's yet to give this piece of news to Carla.  Raquel doesn't think that Carla is jealous of her, but she does believe that Carla doesn't like to see him happier with someone else.  If there weren't kids involved, Joe thinks the transition would be much smoother.  Raquel comments that when the twins are with them, they are like a cute little family.  Someone has been reading LeAnn Rimes' playbook!

Like all VH1 reality stars, Drita has started her own cosmetics line.  She takes her girls to check out space to hawk her wares.  Drita used to be a very successful make-up artist, but the stress of Lee's incarceration derailed her for a while.  Meanwhile, Karen joins Renee as she's looking for new homes.  She can no longer live in fear that someone who hates Junior (or Junior himself) knows where she lives.  Renee has issues with too many windows, basements, detached garages, or attics.  She has major security worries.  Karen, who grew up in a similar situation when her dad turned state's evidence, completely understands and tries to talk some sense into her paranoid friend.  Renee doesn't want to hear it.

Drita heads to the Drunken Monkey to see Ang.  Poor Ang hasn't been able to visit her son AJ since he went to court ordered rehab.  She hopes the judge will lift the stay on his no visitation order.  Drita feels badly for her friend, and she dishes on finding a property to house her make-up line.  Ang fills her in about a space right across the street, and when Drita calls about it, the price is right and she's ready to sign a contract. 

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Carla is dropping off the kids with Joe, and she immediately goes off on him for getting a bigger house than he needs.  He stupidly shares that he wants to invite Raquel to move in with him.  Carla is showing a totally different personality this season.  Carla doesn't want her kids to feel uncomfortable in their dad's house, but I'm guessing she's really just jealous.  I don't think she wants Joe, but I do think that she doesn't want Joe with anyone else.  We've all been there, right?

It's time for the Botox bash, and Ang is excited to have all of her friends in one place for some face freezing.  Ang is popping bottles, and Love is the first one to get pricked.  Karen is next, followed by Ramona.  Ang is disappointed that Carla, Renee, and Drita have yet to show, but she won't let it dampen her good time.  Renee arrives, and she is curious as to why Drita and Carla are no-shows.  Renee and Love buried the hatchet on the premiere, but Renee wants to make sure that things are still cool between them.  Love thinks that the pair could be good friends because they have so much in common, given that they are both bat shiz crazy.  No seriously, that is what Love thinks they have in common.  Drita calls to tell Ang that she is suffering from severe tooth pain so she won't be able to make it to the party.  Drita reveals that Carla didn't attend because she felt uncomfortable without Drita.  Ang is very disappointed.  Renee thinks that the real reason Carla didn't come was because she has a problem with Love.  Apparently the ladies have shared men in the past.  Karen loves to see Love hating so much on her main nemesis.  Wait, I thought that was Drita? 

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The following day, Renee is going through her mail when she receives a threatening letter written in Junior's handwriting.  She pours a hefty glass of wine and starts calling all of her friends.  She lights a cigarette and reveals that she self-medicates out of fear.  She is compelled to leave the house, and heads to Ramona's.

Next week, everyone is up at arms about Junior's letter.  Karen wants to go to Arizona after sharing with Ramona that her teenage daughter found a thong that may or may not belong to her dad's (Karen's on-and-off ex) girlfriend.  Drita prepares her girls for the trip to see Lee in prison, and Love tells Drita she has no problem fighting Carla.

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE?  WERE YOU SURPRISED TO SEE LESS DRAMA?

[Photo Credit: VH1]

 

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