Last night's Duck Dynasty was rather risque for Robertson standards.  There was bathroom humor, shrinkage concerns, and Miss Kay got super sassy talking about the birds and the bees.  Willie fancied himself an action hero, while Jase took great pleasure in ribbing his brother.  Si has never been colder than he was in 'Nam, and Phil just shook his head at the insanity of it all.  Good times, for sure!

Willie and Jase are touring a giant Bass Pro Shop after being offered a large space to sell their Duck Commander products.  While Willie is trying to work on a deal, Jase is hoping to score free stuff and tossing out horrible neon laden ideas.  Is it just me, or is Jase a Si in training?  The guys decide that a blown up photograph of the Robertson boys is just what the space needs.

At the warehouse, Martin and Godwin are playing Go Fish (don't they know that it's super hard to play that with just two people?) and Si is watching Jep play Donkey Kong on a Gameboy.  Jase wonders why the boys are being so old school with their game choices, but Si reminds him that the simplest of games are the most fun…Kick the Can, horseshoes, lawn darts–if you are fortunate enough to actually survive a game of deadly lawn darts!  Willie arrives and shares the news that the boys will be doing a photo shoot for their Bass Pro Shop space.  After major eyerolling from Jase, Jep offers to take the pictures so he can 1) test out his new camera; and 2) avoid being memorialized forever in whatever craziness Willie has in mind.  The photo session is set for Saturday–oh, wait…Jep isn't available on Saturday.  He has his dodge ball league play-offs.  Si likes the sound of that.  He loves the idea of the duck, dive, and jive!



At Phil and Kay's house, Kay is teasing her one of her dogs for pouting about not being the first to get a treat.  Regardless of how it appears, Kay explains she doesn't have a favorite dog.  She loves all her dogs the same, just like her children.  Of course, if she had to pick a favorite, it would be Jep.  Wait, aren't we talking about the pooches?  Willie's kids Sadie and John Luke stop in to visit their grandmother before heading out to bowl with friends.  When Kay hears "bowlin'" she's all in…much to the teen's chagrin.  She loved "bowlin'" back in the day.  Sadie and John Luke concede, but only if Kay will trade in her flannel pajama bottoms for some jeans. 

It freezing and rainy on the day of the photo shoot.  The warehouse crew, dressed in their camo best and face paint are miserable in the weather.  Si remembers a time back in 'Nam when it was so cold that one of his friends was relieving himself (or "takin' a leak" as Si would say) and his pee froze midstream gaining him the nickname "the golden arch."  Where does he come up with this stuff?  It must be super frigid though because the normally mute Jep (he's quickly sneaking into my favorite position…) is joking about shrinkage. 


When Willie gets to the loading dock, he has a vision of Duck Dynasty meets Rambo.  He wants grit and hardness and action and heroism and a little bit of kindness to show through in the pictures.  Si lends his nephew his glasses (whoa those are some lenses!) so he can have a new outlook on the shoot and explains that his glasses are so cutting edge, he can see into the future.  So far, the posing just appears to be the guys standing around on the dock with Willie weaseling his way front and center.  Jase likens his brother to Michael Jackson because he always has to be the center of attention leaving Jase to play the part of Tito and poor Jep to be compared to Janet.  The guys are willing to grin and bear it if it means getting out of the cold faster.

Sadie and John Luke head to bowling with Kay in tow.  She introduces herself to their friends while explaining that it's been over twenty years since she's had a ball in her hand.  John Luke looks like he wants to be swallowed up by the floor of the bowling alley.  Kay sees the cute girls who are vying for her grandson's attention, so she decides to be John Luke's wingman.  She got a lot of practice in that role with Si back in the day.  If being a wingman means chatting about her enormous breasts and calling out John Luke on his foot fungus, than I'd say Kay is the best wingman I've ever seen!

After a quick break, Willie has done a wardrobe change.  He's wearing his finest Chuck Norris attire, or, as Si states, Chunky Norris.  Jep snaps one quick pic of a grinning Willie and his stoic counterparts before the frozen group heads back into the warehouse. 


At the bowling alley, Kay is full of ball innuendos and sex advice.  She lectures the kids on the birds and the bees, advising them what is okay to do before marriage and what is alright to do once you've gotten hitched.  Sweet nothings, hand-holding, and tongue have no place in teenage dating.  As if Sadie and John Luke aren't mortified enough, she starts in on a story about the night their father was conceived.  The teens are ready to high tail it out of the bowling alley, but I am pretty sure that I want to join a league with Kay…if for no other reason than to hear the end of that story!

It's the day of the big reveal at the Bass Pro Shop.  All of the guys are in their nicest hunting gear, except for a dinner jacket clad Willie.  Everyone is thrilled to see the larger than life photograph…everyone, that is, except for Willie.  It seems that Jep gave the Pro Shop peeps the picture of Willie smiling his face off in his Red Dawn get-up, and Si quickly points out that he looks like the love child of Rambo and a beaver.  Phil cites that Godwin looks like a baby head being toted around in Willie's backpack.  Not surprisingly, there is a smaller picture of a tough Jep being swarmed by fire and helicopters.  Now that's a good picture, notes Phil, explaining that Jep was always the most creative of his sons.  Willie goes to seek revenge on his younger brother during his dodge ball tournament while the rest of the gang goes to see what wonderful treasures are hidden in the Bass Pro Shop.


Phil says his prayer over the family dinner which means we're at the end of yet another fun-filled half hour, while Willie wraps up the episode talking about how the cons of working with your family will never outweigh the pros. 


[Photo Credit: A&E]

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