Duck Dynasty Recap: Who Needs Channing Tatum When You Have Magic Martin?


Last night's Duck Dynasty got back to the roots of why I love this show so much.  It wasn't super scripted, but it was hilarious, wholesome, and fun to watch.  The episode followed Willie, Jase, and Si as they gave Martin a good-natured ribbing over a member of the opposite sex, and Phil was able to spend some quality time (even if he didn't ask for it) with some of his adorable grandchildren.

The Robertson boys are fishing, but Si's singing seems to be scaring off all potential catches.  As Phil so eloquently puts it, "If fish were vampires, Si would be garlic, daylight, and a stake through the heart simultaneously."

The men plan for a poker night, but Martin bows out quietly.  He's got a date!  I'm kind of excited to learn this news because it means that Martin is still on the market.  Call me maybe!  Willie jokes that he's known Martin for ten years and he's been on one date…if Willie is being generous.  Jase inquires as to whether Martin found this girl in a mail-order bride catalog.


Jep wants to know if Martin has met her in person or if he just found her on the Internet.  The Internet?!?  Si can't believe it.  He was a player long before the dating game was even invented.  I don't doubt it!  I'm guessing Soncie doesn't either!  Si dated every chick in their town, and he didn't need the computer to do it.   Si is convinced that Martin is making up this girl to get out of something he doesn't want to do.  Si does it all the time–he's constantly doing things with his imaginary friend "Jep" to avoid situations.  I love it.


Phil is hanging out with his granddaughters, and while it's not his normal way to spend an afternoon, he wants them to get off their WePads and away from their Mad Birds.  He tries to coax them away from their electronics by telling them that Justin Beaver is in the backyard.  He's going to make "redneck girls" out of his kin yet!

Korie and Missy arrive at Duck Commander to impart dating advice on Martin.  He's concerned that their pearls of wisdom are more like dingleberries. While Korie assures viewers that Martin is the nicest guy she's ever known, she wants to get him out of his seventh-grade inspired wardrobe and introduce him to deodorant.  It's off to Martin's house for a make-over!


Martin's home is a wood-paneled, cross-stitched, deer-headed nightmare.  Willie coins his style as Brady Bunch meets Silence of the Lambs.  "It puts the socks in the basket!"  Jase is creeped out by all the childhood pictures of Martin he has around his abode…that and his mustard filled refrigerator.  The Robertson brothers are concerned with Martin's tendencies for hoarding socks and condiment packets.  Hey, Martin!  I too hate feet and love mustard!

Poor Phil is trying his best to bond with his granddaughters while teaching them to fish.  He's convinced that it will help them when it's time to date. Being from the South, he's right.  Guys are impressed with girls who aren't afraid to bait a hook.  Back at Martin's house, he's forced into an impromptu fashion show.  Willie is thrilled to see the wives ordering around someone who isn't one of their husbands, and Missy and Korie can't hide their disdain when he finally loses his hat.  I love that they actually laid out outfits for him like he was starting his first day of third grade!

At the warehouse, Si is getting Martin to strut his stuff as Jase touts him as a human Easter egg.  Martin is wearing khakis, and I'm smitten.  According to Si, who needs Channing Tatum when you have Magic Martin?  He hopes that Martin is up on his dating etiquette.

It's a major bummer for Phil that his squealing granddaughters have ruined the tranquility of fishing.  Luckily, he's had years of practice of tuning out loud groups of children.  One granddaughter makes him so proud by catching a handsome catfish.  The girls are torn between releasing the fish back to swim with its brothers and sisters and letting Phil fry it up for a delicious dinner. He may be getting through to these girls just yet!


Si has graciously offered his services to be Martin's lady friend in what is sure to be a hilarious role playing scenario.  Wearing a feather boa, he's set up a makeshift dinner date over a mound of duck call boxes.  Si is up on the compliments ladies like to receive.  He's got "lines of enchantment" out the wazoo.  Is Heaven missing an angel?  Si's got a toothache because the girls are so sweet!  Martin needs to learn to navigate the crazy world of women's hormones, hairspray, and lipstick.

The following day, the family is sitting around Phil and Kay's house, and Martin arrives.  He's not one to kiss and tell, but he's certainly not going to make the next poker night.  Missy, Korie, and Jessica are proud of Martin for rebutting the Robertson boys' advice and just being himself.  Before they dig into their picnic, Phil blesses the meal with a heartfelt prayer.  Love.  Hey Martin, if things don't work out with Tiffany Brittany, I have a fishing license and my own rod!


[Photo Credit: A&E]