Dance Moms Recap: A Big Easy Brawl

dance moms kendall

Is there any end in sight for Dance Moms?  It seems that if Abby Lee Miller has her way, she'll be gracing our small screens every Tuesday from here to eternity! Of course, last night was the finale (I'm still not convinced the season is over), and the ALDC traveled to New Orleans.  Abby is revealing the final pyramid before Nationals.  Paige is on the bottom, followed by Nia,  then Paige.  All are called out for nit-picky mistakes.  Much to Jill's chagrin, Kendall is also on the bottom tier.  She reminds Abby that her duet with Maddie won first.  An overly orange Abby asks Kendall to tell her mother to zip it.  Seriously, what is up with that spray tan?  Abby reminds me off Ross on Friends when he keeps getting sprayed only on his front (I do so love that episode!).

Peyton rounds out the bottom and Leslie squeals with glee.  It looks like someone hitched a ride on the ALDC bus to Louisiana!  Abby reminds everyone how much Peyton wants to be a part of the team.  Chloe is fourth for being a better dancer two years ago than she is now.  Asia is third for being awesome in her duet, but Abby calls her a hot mess in the group number.  MacKenzie is second, with sister Maddie taking the top spot.  Abby praises her duet and tells her she wishes she'd danced it as a solo.  Sorry Kendall!

The group routine will be a tribute to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.  To be "fair," Abby is teaching everyone a solo…although she's pitting each of the girls against one another. Petyon and Brooke will be learning the same choreography.  Kendall and Chloe will face off for the next solo, as will Asia and MacKenzie.  Paige, Nia, and Maddie will vie for the final spot…because that's a fair match-up!  Holly knows that it won't be a level playing field with Maddie in Nia's group.


Abby is working on the group number, and I am so distracted by her orange hands and face.  Who would think that looks good?  Even Snooki knows where to draw the line!  The moms are concerned about Cathy's presence at the competition.  Speaking of, Cathy has hired Blake McGrath (he's got to be Mark's brother, right?) who has choreographed for the likes of Madonna, Britney Spears, and Janet Jackson.  Dude, what are you doing on Dance Moms?  Botox Mom has clearly gone to the same spray tanning place as Abby.  Much like Anthony before him, Blake has to deal with Cathy knowing more about dance than he does.

dance moms abby

Kristie 2.0 is so tired of the moms complaining about who will get a solo.  Kelly wonders why some girls are wasting practice time learning a dance they will never perform.  Abby is working with Asia and MacKenzie first.  She has them improv, but MacKenzie just stands there as Asia busts a move.  I've never seen this side of Melissa–she's yelling at MacKenzie to dance and when she won't, she yanks MacKenzie off the dance floor.  For once, it's not Abby reminding MacKenzie that she's not as good as Asia…it's her mother!

Chloe and Kendall are rehearsing, and Jill feels like their choreography is unfairly skewed more towards Chloe's style of dance.  Not shockingly, Christi believes it's unfair that her daughter doesn't automatically get to compete to defend her winning title from last year.  After a brief practice with Brooke and Peyton, Abby concentrates on what will ultimately be Maddie's solo.  Melissa thinks it's a great opportunity for Nia and Paige to get to dance with her daughter, and Christi and Jill try to convince the new moms that Abby cares more about Maddie's solo than the group number.  Christi and Leslie get into a screaming match when Leslie accuses Christi of always claiming that Chloe is a victim.  Well…

Needing to blow off some much needed steam, the mothers head to Bourbon Street where they torture poor voodoo dolls and Melissa flashes for beads.  Over cocktails, 2.0 announces that this will be Asia's last competition.  She is taking her show to L.A. full time.  Leslie is over the moon…now there's a spot for Peyton on the team!  Jill is worried that Leslie and Christi's overindulgence with the drinks is going to cause trouble, and before she can get the words out of her mouth, Christi is throwing drinks and Leslie is throwing punches.  I'm not sure if that poor production assistant made it out unscathed the way Leslie was attacking.

dance moms fight

The following day, the women are rehashing the night before, and Jill spins a story where an out of control Leslie blind sides an unassuming Christi.  At this point, 2.0 loses it.  These women are all liars, and she can't believe that they'd spin this story without Leslie around to defend herself.  She reminds the women that Christi was the one who first got in Leslie's face, but no one seems to recall that little detail…good thing it was captured on film!

2.0 goes to Abby and tells her that she is taking Asia and leaving due to the confrontations and lies that the other moms perpetuate.  Abby is disheartened that Kristie is taking her shoe-in, but she understands not wanting to deal with the crazy.  Well, it looks like MacKenzie will be getting that solo after all.  Scripted much?  Abby makes the tearful announcement that Asia is leaving, and she sends Christi and Leslie–and their daughters–packing.  While I feel badly for Chloe, the moms need to be taught a lesson in sportsmanship.  Their behavior does affect their kids.

Abby tries to explain to the girls why they are down three dancers.  Maddie, Kendall, and MacKenzie will all have solos thanks to the new shake-up, and Abby isn't going to have Brooke dance the solo she learned.  She wants Brooke to hold her National title, and Kelly agrees that the new solo wasn't right for her daughter.

dance moms group

At Nationals, Cathy is surprised and excited to see that Abby is missing some dancers.  The two get into a verbal tiff in the hallway before MacKenzie channels her inner Asia and nails her spunky solo.  Kendall also slays her solo with Maddie watching her friend and competitor from the wings.  Maddie's solo is powerful, but I don't think she out-danced Kendall. Of course, Abby thinks she was perfection.

Cathy's Apples perform their voodoo dance, and they are crazy talented.  So much so that I'll probably have nightmares.  Abby's Katrina number is equally amazing, but not shockingly, it features all Maddie all the time.  At the awards ceremony, a sad MacKenzie places second in her division.  Jill is beyond proud of Kendall for getting second to Maddie's National title. The ALDC also edges out the Candy Apples for first place in the group number.  Abby congratulates her girls, and she's tearful about what the future holds with her mother's health.

Next week is the reunion!  It's confirmed that this season is almost over!


[Photo Credit: Lifetime]