Dance Moms Reunion Recap: We Survived The Longest Season EVER!


Yea!  It's OVER! How I've missed you, Jeff Collins.  Lookatcha!  He's got a fresh new hairstyle (not to mention new color) and a sleeker, hipper suit than in Dance Moms reunions past. He's also cracking jokes as he introduces Hurricane Abby Lee Miller.  He begins the evening by showing the Christi/Leslie smack down on Burboun Street, and Abby admonishes them for the trash they are.  It is no way to represent the Abby Lee Dance Company.

Original Extra Crispy Christi and Leslie come out to share their side of the brawl.  Christi has a prepared speech where she takes responsibility for her actions while reminding everyone that Leslie has a history of violence.  Leslie talks only about her loyalty to her daughters and Abby and how she wants to make a name for her girls in the entertainment industry.  She doesn't understand why Christi is so threatened by her.  Oh, she's making a name for her poor girls alright (and so is Christi!).


Abby reveals that when she sent the mothers and daughters packing, Leslie was immediately remorseful and apologized to her and the group.  Christi has yet to apologize and she owes the biggest sorry to daughter Chloe.  Not surprisingly, Christi can't admit to any wrongdoing.  We are treated to footage of a valley girl-esque Christi calling the police as Leslie bows up to a production assistant threatening to take her down.  Someone needs to be paying Jeff the big bucks as he flawlessly segues from their immature fight to Asia and MacKenzie's "We Hit Harder" duet.

Kristie 2.0 joins the "ladies" on stage to share why she left after all of the mothers created a candy-coated story regarding the Bourbon Street fight.  Leslie greatly appreciates 2.0 having her back, and she feels like she doesn't owe Christi any sort of apology for her behavior.  Jeff calls Kelly out on stage and questions where her newfound confidence and voice came from this season.  Newfound?  Hasn't Kelly always been mouthy?  Abby actually compliments Brooke and gives Kelly some sage advice in trying to get her girls' ahead in this industry.

The kind words last all of two seconds as the women get into it over Paige getting kicked out of the recital and Kelly's childish antics of trying to Abby to move seats during a competition.  Oh, the maturity.  Jeff reveals that Kelly stood in the aisle for over thirty minutes.  Abby wishes Kelly had just sat her butt in a seat and shut up. They just keep getting classier and classier, don't they?

We're barely halfway through the madness (and don't get me wrong, I am beyond thankful that it's the reunion…I thought it would never get here!), and I am grateful for the girls dances as an interruption to the drama.  They really are such a talented group of dancers! Of course, the dancing doesn't last nearly long enough, and we revisit why Kelly brought back her girls when Abby was missing in action.  Abby totally calls Kelly a "wacko" and Jeff butts in and gets bowled over by Kelly.  Abby storms off the stage, adamant that she didn't call Kelly any names.  I had to rewind.  Abby, your pajama pants are on fire!

Holly, Jill, and Melissa come out to discuss what happened when Abby disappeared from several lessons and two competitions.  Leslie is sticking up for Abby come hell or high water, and it comes off as pathetic and brown-nosing.  Jeff decides to get to the bottom of a pact the mothers made not to send their daughters to participate in Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition.  No shocker, but Melissa sends Maddie.  Holly reminds Melissa that the moms didn't have a problem with her sending Maddie, they were more upset that she said one thing and then did another. Nothing gets resolved except the fact that Christi is a big bully, and Holly is the only voice of reason.

Jeff reminds us of the stand off between Jill and 2.0.  I'd totally forgotten about it…probably because it happened a year and a half ago.  Seriously, how long has this season been going on?  Next, Jeff focuses on Holly versus Leslie.  As painful as these dance moms are, Leslie is the most ridiculous woman this show has every seen. As always, Team Holly all the way.  Thankfully, Maddie intervenes with a solo.

Abby is coaxed back to the reunion on the condition that Kelly exits stage left.  Abby explains that she loves Paige and Brooke as if they were her own, and she blames Kelly for putting a wedge between herself and her daughters.  When Holly tries to calmly tell Abby why the mothers had an issue with her storming off during the season, Abby snarkily quips that she'll write it all down in a way that Nia can understand.  Holly has a helluva lot more self control than I do…that's for sure!

At the end of the hour, Abby shares her exciting news.  She's going to be auditioning for new members of the ALDC competition team.  When Jill asks in what context the new team will compete, Abby chastises Kendall for missing rehearsals due to a family vacation.  Enough of this nonsense, the reunion wraps up with Brooke's very auto-tuned singing debut.  At least Abby seems excited for her!


[Photo Credit: Lifetime]