Mob Wives Recap: Ho Ho Ho!

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Last night's Mob Wives was a big ol' Twitter hating, lingerie wearing, baby building, screaming mess. Can you guess who was doing the most?  

It begins with Renee Graziano heads to Drita D'avanzo's house for dinner with Natalie Guercio and Alicia deMichele Garofalo. Drita is prepared to play the role of mediator. She isn't going to let anyone get physical in the house she just redecorated. The meal starts out as an awkward, tense blind date. Even Big Ang is quiet, which is unheard of for her. Renee calls out Alicia for not eating, and Alicia takes the opportunity to say she wants to calmly rehash their issues. Alicia confronts Renee about spreading rumors about her that are jeopardizing her case. Renee admits that she is guilty of gossiping, but she'd never be a rat. Alicia accepts what Renee has to say, and she doesn't believe she's leaked any information to the press. Renee believes that Alicia has a giant problem with her best friend Carla, and the women's discussion gets heated.


Drita lays out the path of loyalty. Renee will always be more loyal to Carla and Alicia's husband than she will ever be to Alicia. Likewise, Natalie's loyalty totally lies with Alicia. Alicia agrees that her dislike for Carla has clouded her feelings for Renee. The women are impressed that Renee actually listened and understood. Alicia thanks Renee for being such a good friend to her husband for thirty years, and for that she feels she should make more of an effort in her friendship with Renee. Drita can't believe her good fortune! No plates were thrown!

Drita is expanding her empire by opening up a second make-up store. It's opening in a few days, so she's stressed beyond belief to get to the site and see how much more work needs to be done. The paint is wrong, the mirrors have yet to be hung, and Drita is beyond frustrated. She wants this business to be a legacy for her daughters so she can put them through college without financial worries. Thankfully, the Lady Boss sign is perfection.

Across town, Natalie and her boyfriend apartment hunting with their realtor, She's considering a move from Philadelphia to New York City for him. However, the lack of elevators and closet space is killing her. London wants to make it work, but she's frustrated about the sacrifices she's making to move to a tiny apartment. After all, her current house is paid off and she needs plenty of room for her son. Natalie wants a third bedroom in the event they have a baby. Whoa. London reminds her that if they stretch their budget, they won't get to spend as much money on night life. He's not ready for a baby. She reminds him that they will be living with her nine-year-old, so they won't be going out all the time. This is going to work out well.

As Alicia awaits her sentencing, she's leaning on friends for support. She reveals that her bank has closed all nine of her accounts (nine?), and her friend feels horribly for her. Alicia doesn't know how to tell her boys that there is a possibility she will be going to jail. In her head, if she never brings it up to them, everything will stay the same. Alicia is scared to have her boys see her so vulnerable. What if they lose both of their parents? Their innocence will be shattered. A tearful Alicia is watching her world crumble around her because she married a man with a secret double life. 

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Drita's contractors must have been working around the clock because her salon is now finished. It's the night of her grand opening, and Alicia stops by with a congratulatory gift. Alicia can't dwell on her upcoming sentencing, and she's trying to maintain a sense of normalcy. She thinks Drita's store is so chic it belongs in SoHo. I think SoHo may disagree. Renee and Ang arrive, and Ang is thrilled to see that Ang has decorated it to her taste…which means it looks like a cheetah threw up all over the place. Drita is doing all the ladies' make-up, and she gives Ang a more natural look. Renee tries to be supportive by asking Alicia about her sentencing. Natalie and London arrive and share that they have been apartment hunting. Alicia pulls London aside to make sure that he's on the same page as her friend (he's totally not) so that Natalie doesn't get hurt waiting for a ring that isn't going to come. 

The next day, Renee calls Alicia to rant about Natalie's latest tweets. Natalie has been tweeting Renee implying that she was never friends with Alicia's husband and accusing her of being a B.J. giving ho-bag. Renee is screaming at Alicia that she needs to reign in her friend. Alicia reminds Renee that Natalie is a grown woman and she can't control her…not to mention the fact that she can't imagine Natalie tweeting something if she didn't think it was true. Renee explains (loudly) that Natalie was responding to a random musing of Renee's regarding men cheating on their wives. She tells Alicia it was her way of supporting her situation. Yeah, sure. 

mob wives ang and neil

So, this baby thing is going to happen with Ang and Neil, isn't it? They are "building a baby" at the doctor. Neil has to do his business in a cup to make sure his fish can still swim if they find an egg donor and a surrogate. Ang jokes with the nurse that they haven't had sex in two years, but Neil has probably rubs one out often. Can she really say that on television? Can I really type that here? Ang follows Neil into the room where he'll be doing his business so she can pick out his porn. It's hilarious.

Alicia is helping her sons write letters to their father. As they share their letters with their mothers, their father calls. The boys are so excited to talk to their dad, and Alicia gets very angry with him while they are talking. Her poor sons look so sad and uncomfortable. After she hangs up on him, one son wonders what their dad did to end up in jail. Alicia takes this opportunity to tell her boys that she may be going "away" as well. She wants them to write her as well if she goes to jail. What a mood killer for the family time! 

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For a holiday treat, Renee has rented out a hotel suite for a sexy slumber party with her girls. She's calling it her "ho ho ho" party. Renee's friends arrive wearing their finest dominatrix gear, and Ang impresses with a geisha ensemble. Alicia fills in Drita and Ang on Natalie's Twitter war with Renee. Ang and Drita are confused as they thought they'd made a truce. The ladies go to Renee to find out her side of the story. Both Drita and Ang are totally floored by Natalie's behavior. The women go back downstairs where Renee again tells Alicia she needs to learn how to handle her friend. She's screaming and cursing about her situation…people are looking at her like she's a home wrecker. Drita doesn't understand why Renee has to be on the defensive since she didn't do anything. Natalie had better watch her back!


[Photo Credit: VH1]