It’s safe to say that Dance Moms has hit an iceberg with Abby Lee Miller at the helm. It’s the girls final week in Los Angeles, and Abby’s eye make-up is shiny and overdone and her hair is sprayed sky high, so some may say she’s back to normal. Abby announces that Maddie is absent as she’s guest starring on Disney’s Austin and Ally. She’s brought in two girls to hopefully fill her void. Well, looky, here…it’s Tracey’s daughter Sarah and Brynn and her mom Ashley. Both ladies are Kira’s nemeses from her former studio.
In the pyramid, Nia is on the bottom since she wasn’t allowed to compete. JoJo is fifth since she placed fifth in the competition and sometimes acts like a five-year-old. Ouch. Jessalyn interrupts to talk about how good her daughter performed. Abby remind them both that JoJo failed to watch the movie Carrie as instructed. Um, if I didn’t say it last week, I’m saying it now…that movie is far too scary for someone that age. When JoJo retorts that she didn’t want to be scared in her hotel room, Abby rips her picture of the pyramid. Jessalyn yells that her daughter deserves to be on the pyramid. Wrong word choice! Abby shrieks that JoJo deserves nothing, and JoJo fights back tears. Abby screams that she will not have crying children in her studio, and JoJo responds that if Abby is going to yell at her, she’s probably going to cry. Of course, this gets poor JoJo banished. Melissa notes that none of the other ALDC girls would be crying like that. I think they should be more concerned that their girls are belittled and treated so badly that they no longer have tears left!
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Outside, JoJo accuses Abby of being a jerk and tells her mother than anyone would cry if they were treated like that. Jessalyn tries to explain that Abby just can’t handle having people stand up to her, and JoJo knows it’s because “she’s a big baby.” Even though she hates to see her daughter treated so terribly (yeah, right), she urges JoJo to be the bigger person and apologize so that she can take full advantage of this opportunity. Back in the pyramid, MacKenzie rounds out the bottom, with Maddie in third for leading the group routine to victory. Kalani’s improvements land her in the second spot with Kendall on top for her second place solo finish. JoJo interrupts with her apology which Abby accepts. Jill wonders what praise Abby would bestow on Kendall, to which Abby replies, Kendall is first place on the pyramid even though she didn’t get first place when she should have. Such a sweet compliment from such a sweet lady.
The dances this week are inspired by famous twosomes. Kalani and Sarah will be Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding in a duet. MacKenzie will be the Lucy to JoJo’s Ethel. Jill wonders why Abby wouldn’t give a solo to Kendall or Nia but is featuring the new girls. Brynn, Kalani, MacKenzie, and Sarah will be dancing a group number entitled No Laughing Matter, while Kendall, Nia, JoJo and MacKenzie (again!) will be doing the Pink, Mia, Xtina, Lil’ Kim version of Moulin Rouge. That is a lot of choreography for MacKenzie to learn, isn’t it? She’s bringing in a guest choreographer to work with the Moulin Rouge number.
As the first group number rehearses, the moms complain that L.A. with Abby isn’t anything that they expected with Abby’s tantrums, meltdowns and favoritism. Jill is frustrated that Nia and Kendall are original members of the ALDC yet they are only dancing in one number. She is sick of moms from other studios coming in to take her daughter’s opportunity. You don’t see her traipsing to Phoenix to bring Kendall to their studio. Abby receives a phone call from internet pop star Matty B’s dad/manager. I am so distraught that I know who he is. He’s a precious little YouTube sensation who is trying to follow in the Biebs younger and (hopefully) less douchey footsteps. The girls are super excited to be considered for his new video. He’s so swoon-worthy to the tweens. Abby heads out to share the news with her mom, but she announces that MacKenzie won’t be dancing back-up for Matty when she’s got a recording contract and is a pop star in her own right…unless it’s Matty B featuring Mack-Z. Abby decides to work that angle. Jill suggests that Abby focus on the other girls’ auditions in light of this fake singer conundrum, and Abby promptly snaps that Jill needs to shut up.
The following day, Jill is still fuming at Abby’s reaction. Holly wonders why Jill is just now realizing how ridiculous Abby’s reactions have been in the last few weeks. Jill and Holly are upset that Kendall and Nia are being passed off to another choreographer. They have yet to begin learning their dance. Melissa shares with the other moms that MacKenzie’s music producer won’t let her be in some kid’s video(unless she’s featured, duh) because it will be a step backward for her daughter’s pop stardom career. Holly mentions that Matty’s YouTube hits are in the billions, and Melissa quickly changes her tune. Jill, Holly, and Kira want an opportunity for their girls, but when the new moms chime in to agree, they quickly clarify that they meant opportunities for the actual team members…not newbies.
With just a few days left to learn numbers, Matty B’s casting guys are coming in to discuss the videos. He compares it to Maddie’s success with Sia…um, not even close. Abby reminds the girls that today they are teammates, but tomorrow they will be competing for the role of Matty’s number one video girl. When Matty B’s “people” come in, Abby gushes so insincerely. She also states that if MacKenzie doesn’t score the lead role, she won’t be in the video at all. As her manager, Abby thinks it will be beneath her. In addition to the main girl, three others will be featured as waitresses, with the remaining dancers relegated to the far background. JoJo is sassy, and she is a front runner along with Nia and Kalani. They find MacKenzie to appear uncomfortable with the improv aspect of the audition. The strongest vocalists are Nia, Kendall, and MacKenzie. The guys deliberate, with JoJo and MacKenzie being tossed around for the lead.
On the music video set, Maddie surprises the crew (thanks to Melissa), and the producers promise to find her a spot. The background (third tier) girls are Kendall, Sarah, and Brynn with Nia, Kalani, and JoJo as the featured waitresses. Matty B announces MacKenzie gets the lead (shocking!) even though it was a tough call for the producers to choose between MacKenzie and JoJo. The moms are excited about their daughters’ big day, but Abby is running late. Melissa stupidly calls to check on her and gets livid when she hears that Melissa already signed a contract without her consent. What if “recording artist” MacKenzie isn’t getting equal billing? Abby arrives and shares her complaints with the video producer. If looks could kill, Melissa would be dead. Abby is considering pulling on her talent. Matty B needs her girls far more than they need him. Um, really?
Also, can we talk a moment about Lifetime’s new series Born in the Wild where people elect to birth their babies in a hut miles from civilization? Yes, I know this happens all day everyday all over the world…but not with camera crews present for our entertainment? Geez Louise!
[Photo Credit: Lifetime]