Dance Moms Recap: Tears Of A Clown

dance moms clowns

I’d like to channel my inner Australian and boycott Abby Lee Miller. Seriously, Dance Moms was never exactly a picnic to watch, but this is getting, wait, no, this IS absolutely ridiculous and almost unbearable. We last left off with a disastrous situation on the set of YouTube sensation Matty B’s music video. Melissa, when will you learn that you don’t sign a contract without reading it? Recording artist Mack Z isn’t getting billing credit! The producer pulls Melissa aside to share his conversation with Abby, and MacKenzie is going to be pulled from the video. NO! Abby bellows that all of her “clients'” cannot participate in the video. Holly interjects to remind Abby that the legal issue is that MacKenzie’s recording contract may render her ineligible according to Abby, but what’s wrong with the dancers? As their manager, Abby believes the moms must follow her lead.

Kira just wants her daughter to dance, as does some new mom whose name I won’t bother to learn…yet. Well, maybe all their daughters will ever be is just back-up dancers according to Abby. Jill caves to Abby’s bullying, and Abby cannot believe that Holly has once again stabbed her in the back. They are going against her team. Melissa thinks this is just another example of the other girls not getting the opportunities that her girls get because they refuse to follow Abby’s direction. Holly leaves the decision up to Nia, and Nia wants to dance in the video, as to JoJo and Kalani. The new moms recognize that Nia has the most to lose given that she’s an original team member. 


The following day at the studio, Holly warns Nia that she may feel Abby’s wrath due to her choice. Holly believes that Nia has earned the right to perform in the group number during her last week in Los Angeles, and she promises to fly under the radar and avoid any potential backlash. At rehearsal, Abby is livid that anyone would have chosen to defy her. She’s only allowing them to dance because she doesn’t want to have to come up with new choreography, and she feels it will be unfair to the dancers who were loyal to her. However, be warned. Abby will not forget this betrayal. JoJo and MacKenzie are practicing their Lucy and Ethel duet as Abby barks critiques at JoJo. She’d better watch I Love Lucy. JoJo beats her to the punch as she recaps an entire episode at breakneck speed.

dance moms practice

Sarah and Kalani are perfecting their Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding routine, and Sarah’s mom knows it is just as hard for the girls as it is for the moms. The two are friends, and their mothers’ feud has taken its toll. Backstage, Kira gives Sarah an insincere compliment, and her Arizona counterparts call her out for being fake and assert that Sarah’s mom helped her raise Kalani while Kira was off with her boyfriend. Need they remind her that she doesn’t even have custody of her son? Oh no you didn’t, bitch! This is getting ugly…and it was already far more ugly than I could have imagined. When the group numbers rehearse, the sad clown number is one for the books, and the Moulin Rouge routine is cute. Jill isn’t blindly following Abby so that Kendall can be part of a “cute” number…also known as second best…at best.

The ALDC arrives for their last competition on the West Coast. Maddie has returned from her guest starring role on Austin and Ally, and Abby reminds the mothers that the opportunities are only going to come through her. Jessalyn asks Abby’s take on JoJo, and Abby shares that the child isn’t very socially aware. She’s pretty spot-on in her assessment (did I just type that? Gross.), and she does so somewhat tactfully (again, what is wrong with me?). Abby does the same in her compliments and critiques of Sarah. When Kira tries to interject, Sarah’s mom goes for the jugular. Wasn’t Kira arrested for credit card fraud? Kira looks uncomfortable enough to make me think their accusations are true, but I’m not interested enough in the truth to google it for myself. Oh, wait! Thanks, Jessalyn–she does it for me! 

dance moms mackenzie

Jill is trying to squelch the new mom drama, but it’s not really working. JoJo and MacKenzie’s costumes for their duet are fabulous. Kalani and Sarah are mini-Olympians in their skating dresses. Holly worries that Kalani’s days are numbered given the information revealed about Kira and, of course, the fact that Kalani has yet to secure a win for the ALDC. The skating duet is great, and the girls dance beautifully together. I love that Sarah and Kalani can still be friends despite their mothers’ bitterness and jealousy. JoJo and MacKenzie’s routine starts off strong, but the music halts just a few seconds into the number. The girls handled it like professionals and don’t miss a beat…until the end when for a split second JoJo is facing the wrong direction.

Backstage, Abby claims that Kalani and Sarah danced beautifully but she wasn’t blown away. Abby questions JoJo as to why her mom thought she did a great job when she screwed up the ending. Jessalyn is a dance teacher after all! Jessalyn interrupts to say that she was praising her daughter’s wonderful turns, but she wasn’t discounting Abby’s criticism. Abby chastises that Jessalyn wouldn’t have been able to miss JoJo’s “minor” mess-up if she was performing with the Rockettes. That would have made it major. Thankfully for the girls, they must quickly prepare for their group numbers. Jill and Holly are concerned that Moulin Rouge girls are the clear underdogs. Abby tells the girls that she is happy that at least Maddie hasn’t failed during her time in L.A. Abby is such a peach.

dance moms moulin rouge

The sad clown routine is haunting and pretty close to perfect. It only worries Holly more about Nia’s fate. The Moulin Rouge costumes are over the top in a good way, and while the foursome seems to start off a bit rocky, all of the girls are so into the number and incredibly animated. While entertained, Abby cites several flaws in both group dances. At the awards ceremony, JoJo and MacKenzie’s duet garners fourth, while Kalani and Sarah fail to place. The sad clown group number lands in third, with Moulin Rouge not making it on the judges’ radar. In the dressing room, Kira proclaims that Kalani did an amazing job, and her nemeses are quick to say that Abby wanted a winner on her team. According to them, Kalani isn’t living up to her hype. Abby convenes with her girls and shares that the ALDC isn’t ready for Los Angeles. Abby gives Sarah praise and a hug before sending her on her way. She invites JoJo and Brynn back to Pittsburgh, and she begrudgingly extends the same courtesy to Kalani with a warning that she’d better start winning. Abby menacingly states that she still hasn’t forgotten about the great betrayal that was the Matty B video shoot. Dun duh duhhhh!


[Photo Credit: Lifetime]