Dance Moms Recap: MegaPhonies

Dance Moms Maddie

Abby Lee Miller, whatever are we going to do with you? Last night’s Dance Moms was the Brynn show with the talented newbie pitted against Abby’s favorite, the unbeatable Maddie. Is she Maddie 2.0? After being absent last week so that her mother could tend to her diabetic brother, Brynn returns with mother Ashley to the ALDC. Jill predicts Abby had to have been incredibly persuasive to woo them to Pittsburgh.

At pyramid, Nia is on the bottom for not placing in her solo. JoJo follows with Abby citing an actual improvement–JoJo didn’t stand out in the group routine, she conformed…and nicely at that! MacKenzie rounds out the lowest tier with praise for comprehending choreography so well. MackZ is all smiles, but it’s clear from Melissa’s face that she expected a higher ranking. Kendall is in third overall for an exceptional solo. It’s Kendall’s birthday, and Abby warns that a birthday means that she’s back competing against Maddie. Perhaps she should have stayed eleven forever. Maddie is in second, and if you thought Melissa was peeved about MacKenzie’s spot on the pyramid, it wasn’t anything compared to her sour face at this news! Kalani finally makes the top spot for winning the teen solo division as well as being the highest scoring soloist of the day. 


At this week’s competition, Abby will once again be facing off against Cathy and the Candy Apples. Maddie will be performing a solo, and Abby reminds her that she has a reputation to uphold due to her turn as Sia’s muse. She then announces that the Chandelier video is up for four Grammys, so she and Maddie will be attending the awards show. Maddie is understandably over the moon, but she assures viewers that she won’t be walking the red carpet with her teacher. Atta girl! Brynn also receives a solo, and the group routine will be entitled “Dancing in the Rain.” Because MacKenzie and Nia are Sheer title winners, Abby encourages them to bring their crowns and banners as they will be passing out the awards. Nia is expressionless, and Abby tells her that if she doesn’t want to bring crown, then she’s never allowed to go out for another title. Holly chastises Abby for calling out Nia for nothing more than being focused and attentive. In the viewing room, Jessalyn adds that Brynn listened to Abby’s gushing praise without ever cracking a smile. What’s the difference?

Dance Moms brynn abby

In Ohio, Cathy has enlisted the choreographer from one of the teams which beat the ALDC in Los Angeles, Abby pretends that she couldn’t care less about what Cathy is scheming. Are any of Cathy’s dancers going to the Grammys? As the girls rehearse the group number, Abby criticizes Nia’s technique, and Ashley questions if Abby’s treatment of Nia stemmed from the fallout surrounding the Matty B video. Kira knows that Abby is going to keep acting out against Nia, and Jill urges Holly to have a sit-down with Abby. However, Holly isn’t in the mood to grovel. Abby hopes that by putting Brynn and Maddie up against each other this week, the girls will inspire and push the other to be better. As Abby gushes over Brynn, the moms warn Ashley that this honeymoon phase won’t last long. Ashley wonders if the other moms feel threatened. Of course they do! Kira and Melissa think Ashley should enjoy it while it lasts…because it won’t last long (as if Melissa has ever really had to deal with Abby’s hatefulness), and Jill fumes that the newbie’s solo should have gone to an ALDC member, specifically Kendall. Before they can fill Ashley’s head with their normal toxic jealousy, Abby summons her downstairs to warn her of the ladies’ normal bitchy motives. 

Cathy may be taking some cues from Abby’s playbook. Lucas isn’t his normal chipper self, and mom Bridgette alleges that it could be because he senses Cathy is playing favorites with some of her other dancers. Channeling her inner Abby, Cathy basically tells her to get over herself. Back in Pittsburgh, Nia is late for practice and her teammates lament about the situation between Holly and Abby. Kalani, always the voice of reason, admits that it has to be incredibly hard for Nia to dance everyday while being punished for something her mom did to upset the beast (okay, so she didn’t call Abby a beast, but I can dream, can’t I?). Maddie likens the situation to what happened with Christi and Chloe. Maddie respects Holly’s decision to stand up to Abby, but she wonders why Holly hasn’t learned that it will never work in her favor…everyone else has. 

Dance Moms Melissa Kira

The moms are still working their magic on Ashley with their passive aggressive remarks. Holly hates that someone who isn’t on the team is taking so much attention away from their girls. Really Holly? Pick a side. Jill laughs at Ashley’s comment that Brynn could potentially beat Maddie. Silly Ashley. Abby is setting Brynn up for failure…it’s what she does with all the newbies! The ladies’ attention is then turned to a sub par group routine, but they are able to pull together for the common goal of bashing Cathy. Jill is so sick of Cathy’s insults that she looks like a man. Look who’s talking!

At the competition, Cathy is waiting for the ALDC with a megaphone. She’s the Krayonce of Dance Moms! Abby reminds her dancers to ignore Cathy’s shenanigans, but she is screaming in the hallway about hiring the choreographer who beat the pants off the ALDC in L.A. When Abby brushes past her, Cathy starts basically accusing her of battery. These women and their blatant disregard for those who are actual victims of crimes–give me a break! Bridgette pops into the dressing room to wish the ALDC good luck, citing her ability to be a good sport. Cathy chastises her veteran mom for fraternizing with the enemy while Lucas rolls his eyes. Maddie performs her solo first, and Abby worries that her training has suffered due to her budding super stardom. She’s too busy with videos and guest starring roles and interviews to devote the time she used to the ALDC. That said, she’s phenomenal. When Brynn takes the stage, Jill bets that Melissa is freaking out at the idea of Maddie being upstaged. Brynn is beautifully talented with flawless lines.

Dance Moms brynn

Before the group performs, Abby gives what seems to be a pretty nice pep talk, at least for Abby’s standards. Across the hall, Cathy is doing the same. I am actually surprised at how much I like the ALDC group routine. It’s not one of my favorites, but it’s graceful and wonderfully executed. Abby calls it poetry. Cathy’s group number is great in theory, but…there is a giant sheet that reminds me of when my elementary school PE teacher would pull out the parachute on rainy days. Plus, the dancers aren’t totally in sync. Nia and MacKenzie are passing out awards at the ceremony. Brynn places second with Maddie securing the highest overall scoring solo. The Candy Apples group routine is second fiddle to the ALDC, and Cathy believes they were robbed. After the ceremony, Jill questions the whereabouts of Cathy’s megaphone in light of their win. Cathy retorts that all the original dancers are dancing background for the newbies and Maddie. Bridgette calls out Cathy in front of the ALDC, and Cathy kicks Lucas off the team. He throws a mini tantrum about not wanting to waste his breath on the stupid Candy Apples, but I can kind of see his point. Admittedly stooping to Cathy’s level, Jill hijacks Cathy’s megaphone to shout their victory throughout the hallway. 


[Photo Credit: Lifetime]